and it looks ghastly long uneven stitches pieces don't match colors are so ugly or if you go to a craft show and see someone selling their work and it looks so bad you feel bad for them. I have seen some stuff so awful I am surprised it was let into the show. I usually just say oh that's interesting did it take you long to do?

I say.." Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". I love bright cheery colors and some think they are horrible, so I say live and let live.

I would ask how long have they been quilting and if they took classes? I may even offter to help them out if they would like my help. You must have seen mine :lol: :lol:

Amen! And the second and third, too! :)

If I can't find a single endearing quality...I say nothing at all. If its a one on one situation where I'd clearly be expected to say *something* I'd say something completely generic - "Very interesting fabric choices" or whatever. I really try to find something I like about any project, even if it's not my style. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I don't want to be "that guy" (well, I'm a girl) that said something about someone's work and hurt their feelings. Quilting techniques and choices are very much a personal thing. I put a fair bit of thought into the things I do for any given quilt. Maybe my color choices don't appeal to you...but there is a reason I chose them. Know what I mean? Maybe I chose those colors because they remind me of my deceased grandfather and I wanted to make something to honor him. For someone to then tell me my color choices are crap would break my heart...

Just remember we all started somewhere no one is perfect. Remember when you 1st started we didn't know anything then BUT the Praise & Nice quotes sure made us want to do & Learn more.

:thumbup: :thumbup:

There's always something that you can say. I like your comment "Oh that's interesting did it take you long to do?" I may borrow that!

I went to a show and there was a simple quilt not sewn too well. I knew this was someone's first attempt and she was happy with it. I told her--Your quilt has a very homey feeling. Like I would like to wrap up in it and read a good book.--I later found out that the quilter has parkinson's disease. What an effort she put forth in making this quilt! Not all quilts are up to Padukah standards but they are all special.
Rita

If it's the maker's choices (style, pattern, colors, fabrics, technique, etc.) that are not to my liking, but the work is well done, I'd comment on the workmanship. If the workmanship is poor, but the choices show skill, I'd comment on one of those points. If all the makers choices plus her execution are poor in my opinion, I would say nothing at all. If asked directly, I would encourage her to keep practicing, still making no comment on the particular piece in question.

I do the same. My appllique & quiltiing stitches were the worst. When I started. If not taken. Under the wings & encouraged, who knows if I would have stayed the course, probably not, I' m. Such a perfectionist when it comes to quilting

I love helping other quilters, especially newbies,, they. Get. So. Excited

I can always find something nice to say. Sometimes it is simply "I love the scale of the fabrics you've chosen" but I'll always find a compliment.

I truely believe that you can always find something that is nice to say. If that person is actually asking for your advice or opinion, then maybe it'd okay to offer constructive opinions, but even then, find nice first, give opinion last.

I 4th it!

I try to find something I like about the work, I ask about the quilter and it is interesting what you find out. I have been thinking about having the boards name and web address put on cards because I encourage every quilter I meet to check out our site, I think they can all benefit from the site or we can benefit from them.

There is always something I can compliment them about...the fabric, the time, the design, the work, etc....for every quilt made I believe it's a labor of love :D

The greatest gift is LOVE..... I try not to forget that. Love goes into every quilt we make...... and sweet, kind words are a good expression of love..... I try to always find something loving to say.....

I think it's a shame to let someone think their work is fine when it's not and they don't know it. I have picked up pieces for sale that were terrible and have said this is interesting color choice but the workmanship is not something I would pay for.

This brought tears to my eyes........ a true lesson in life!!!!

I totally agree because I'm sure everyone does their best when making a quilt. I keep my earliest quilts where I can see them just to remind me that I finally learned how to cut straight (most of the time anyway) strips, the importance of accuracy in cutting, sewing, and squaring my blocks, and that bindings look better squared at the corners rather than rounded....I am so glad people made positive comments to me and gave me encouragement to keep on trying.

I usually fall back on "Oh, wow!" (most people take this as a compliment, even if you're thinking, oh wow, how ugly!!! LOL) And then find something to compliment. You can always find something you like if you look. Even if it's just one of the fabrics in it. Say, Oh, wow, I love that purple fabric in there. Where did you get that? or, How bright and happy looking! or, I've always liked that pattern, or (if all else fails) You must be really proud!! And they probably are!

I agree, lets not trample the flower down, before it bloomed.

I second that! I don't want to be that person either! On one of the first quilts that I pieced, someone noticed that one of the HST's wasn't perfectly aligned with the next block over. She was actually gleeful about finding the boo-boo!
:hunf:

It changed the dynamic of our friendship a bit....

I love craft shows and have been doing them for 15 years. I am new to quitling so my items where from different crafts. I have had people come up and praise my work, ask about it and make me feel so good. Then I have had oeople come up with their nose in the air and put my work down or give a disgusted look. Then you have the ones who act like they are at a flea market and offer you half or less. I once made a bunch of aprons from several different fabrics, chili peppers, bright colored horses , the bare chested cowboys, to name a few. I had pot holders and placemats to match. This woman wanted to buy my aprons for $1 a piece, no sale. She were to the. Show manager and tryed to get her to force me to sell them to her, didn't work. The woman got so mad she had to be escorted off the site.

My DH just suggested that I say: "Interesting choices, not my preference, but if it works for you." (If you just got to say something.)

AMEN!! Unless you know the maker personally, say something positive. Isn't there a parable in the bible about Jesus commenting on the shining white teeth of dead rotting dog?

Clem 55 and nanna-up-north said it well.

Ask them how they chose the pattern, what made them choose the fabric, how long have they been quilting, did they enjoy making the quilt, what would they do differently, what is their next project...
Go away making them feel better and with a smile on their face.
No need to burst their bubble. They will remember negative comments, half-hearted comments, and facial expressions far longer than necessary. Make this world a better place.

I call it the new primitive. I actually think there is a market for it. If she is happy it doesn't matter. Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe great beach quilts? I personallyy like the homey dorky look but am too precise myself to make quilts like that. I bet the lady has more fun quilting then I do. My new DIL's mother quilts and makes these wonky odd quilts with all kinds of recycled fabrics and ties them. She was always so critical of herself. I love the new primitive look and wished I could quilt like that. I gave her my Gwen Marston Liberated Quilting book to let her know she is not the only one.

http://gwenmarston.com/

Welll said!

this makes me think of the Gee's Bend quilts - nothing is straight, none of the seams match, some people hate the layout and color combos yet these quilts are extremely popular in the art community and sell for a lot of money.

just because a quilt is not your style or taste doesn't mean it isn't great art that others will love.

say something nice and move on to another topic.

^^THIS
Anything kind will give encouragement. Nurture the desire to try.

I've always been able to see something beautiful in a quilt even if it isn't what I particuarly care for. Especially when it is someone's passion and they put love into it. Most of us quilters are constantly changing, growing & evolving and she will too.

Uh-Oh, that comment sounds familiar!

When I first started quilting I had been making clothes for 40 years so my color and fabric choices were very conservative. I combined things the way you would combine for cloths. Going to quilt guild and seeing show and tell expanded my knowledge of what I could do. I've been quilting for over 10 years now and I still see color combinations I wouldn't have thought of. I have made some quilts that didn't turn out as I expected and thought they were ugly, garish or both but there has always been someone who liked them.
I always try to say something nice about others work.

I don't know why anyone would want to hurt someone's feelings, we are all different and we all do things different, why woudl anyone want to crush her like that...I am appauled that anyione would want to say anything negative at all...

:cry: :cry: :(

kind words and encourage to continue the craft...

Funny you brought this up right now. I said "yes" to quilting a quilt being made by a very close friend's mother. The mom had a stroke a few months ago, and my friend said her mom was struggling to complete the quilt top. It's for a wedding gift.

Well, they brought me the top on Saturday. It brought tears to my eyes, as I could just see the struggle the lady had finishing the top. It was a very simple pattern with many uneven seams, puckers, folds, open seams. It would not lay flat no matter how I patted and tugged. I spent yesterday gently taking the borders off and separating the rows so I can at least straighten them enough to re-sew them together. It is obvious that the machine she used was having tension issues, as there were knots of thread and very uneven stitches.

Anyway, I will NEVER say a word to my friend or the mom about me fixing some of the issues. I can't do them all, because I would have to take it completely apart. I love the effort that she put into this top, and the amount of love she showed by that effort. Her struggle is written all over that top, and it is to be cherished. My goal is to make it a useable quilt, not to re-do her work. Hopefully they will not notice that I straightened the seams, and will just think that I did a great quilting job!! :thumbup: :D

BTW, I had quilted one of her previous quilts, and it was really quite good. She is home-taught by her mother, and has been making her quilts for several years.

:):):)
This lady should be an example to us all!

Totally Agree. We are quilt guardian angels-not quilt police.

I think it is always possible to say something positive about another's work.

"Your quilt is a large one...so much work"
"I can see that you like brown"
"I'm not familiar with that pattern. Did you design your quilt?"
"I like small projects too"
"I love seeing everyone's work"

There are many things that can be said that are not critical. I must admit though, that if someone made the comment that my work was "interesting" I would perceive that as..they hate it.

I also would never give them unsolicited advice on improving their skills, or color choices. I think that could be interpreted as critical and somewhat "quilt police" like.