What i have learned.... a quilting funny rehashed...
 

Ive been reading some posts of discouragement so i thought id re-hash an oldie but goodie of a few goof-ups we all have made a time or two.. 1-15 were my top goofs and the rest were from some brave QB members "sharing' their oopsies with the QB world.. lol..

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED about quilting:

1. Measure TWICE cut once...
2. Don’t cut till your absolutely sure you measured correctly..
3. I cant sew a STRAIGHT ¼ line to save my life...
4. Due to Number 3 – sewing a scant ¼ would not be favorable either in my lifetime...
5. When your rotary cutter states SHARP on the package, it REALLY is...
6. Pins hurt when you forget to pick them up off the floor....
7. My corner/points will never ever be as perfect as yours, so Im not going to compete with you…
8. Due to Number 7, ‘Scrappy’ is my best friend
9. All nighters usually end up with A LOT of mistakes and one wonky quilt..
10. While in ‘quilting’ mode, Laundry doesn’t get done, dishes don’t get washed. So you better head out to Wally world and buy yourself some underwear, it’ll be a while… oh yea and grab dinner too!!!
11. In the quilting world of scrappy quilts, UGLIES are a must- the uglier the better…
12. Uglies can be beautiful when its cut small enough to actually see how ugly it really is….
13. 99.9% of the time I will have a thread and or a fabric snippets somewhere on my body…
14. You have a greater chance of locating me by following the trail of fabric snippets i've dropped along the way..
15 When your machine is having a bad day, plan on having one too..

************************************************** ***************
16." Read the directions silently to yourself. Then read them again, out loud. Then just to be sure, read them again!!"
17. "The more you want to work on your project - the more that others will want - like clean clothes, meals prepared, the house presentable - - -"
18. Dont sew your finger.. its not a fashion trend..
19. "When you want to whip up the simple steps of a small projects to take to the "show and tell" that evening, is when you machine will decide to slip into prima donna mode. "

20. "WHO says children need to eat every day?...... "

21. " There are days that are good for piecing, days for FMQ, and days for cutting - figure out which one today is !! "

22. "My machine hates me some days; I have no idea what I ever did to it. "

23. "It's easier to erase the mistake on the graft paper than to rip the quilt."

24. " Ever cut it twice and it is still incorrect? "

25. " No matter how many times you do that seam, it's still going to end up too short. "

26. "Gotta luv #10 housework-what housework?? "

27. " make sure your ruler is not upside down, or 21 becomes 12..."

28. "I never make the same mistake twice ... it's more like three or four times. "

29. " If it's not 100% cotton, a hot iron can create fascinating textures and shapes, which may not work well with your pattern. "
30. " pre-cut squares aren't always "square"

31. " When I sit down to sew....if I make several mistakes within minutes..I know it's not my time to sew...find something else to do for a while and try it later!! "

32. " Have at least 2 of everything. Chances are your not going to find either one of them when you need it anyway.. '

33. " Make dinner for at least 2 meals at a time, and have oatmeal and cereal for those times you don't."
34. " Learn to improvise.- your quilt may not come out looking like it did in your head "
35. "Find my own style. And it is okay to use nondesignated tools with sewing. ~ " Honey, Can I borrow your hammer?? my sewing machine is acting up again"

36. "Love this board and all you wonderful quilters. It is a home away from home! "

37. " keep your fingers away from needle!! " ~ your machine wont care if its cloth or Skin its sews..

38. "...as soon as you have the quilt sandwiched and basted you will find a block or boarder that is turned the wrong way. "

39. "...I have to have more respect for my sewing machine so I don't sew my finger again. "
40. " I've learned to look at my fabric in the daylight. "
41. "I've learned, too late, that some Batiks really do have a right and wrong side. "
42. " My knees aren't as flexible as they used to be. "

43. " ...in quilting there is no such thing as a shortcut. "
44. " ..There is a wrong side and a RIGHT side on wonder under...
45. " at the end it will all quilt out"

46. " Don't ever, ever, ever calculate and cut yardage for an entire quilt when your in a 'close enough is close enough" mood..... ".

47. "... little children could get buried under the fabric stash should it decide to topple over. "

48. "When I decide to clean my sewing room hide my machine,cause I always end up sewing. "

49. I have to clean up my sewing room to FIND my sewing machine..

50. "...when you are not in the mood to quilt, DON'T, as it will be a disaster "
51." Peroxide DOES take out blood stains.. "
52." Don't sew when you don't feel good...You will feel worse when you see the mistakes you did later on!"
53. "The iron is NOT your fingers best friend.. "
54. "The needle always breaks when you are almost through."
55. " you run out of thread at midnight and destroy your sewing room for hours to find that spool you just bought- only to find it on the dining room table..
56. "Great patterns probably came about because of a mistake, or two or three..."
57." No matter how many pairs of scissors I have, there will never be one around when I need it in a hurry. Likewise for pencils!"
58. "The bobbin thread always runs out two inches from the end of the seam."
59." I praise myself on having the best THREAD stash in every color under the sun, but forget to buy white.."
60. "No matter how well you place the pins, ones gonna jump out and get you."
61. "Puppies LOVE to chew up batting.. Especially a brand new roll.. "
62. “Everyone is suddenly helpless when you sit down to sew.”
63. "the darker it becomes outside, the dimmer my brain seems to be!"
64. "Double check for basting safety pins when you are done. Lest your child wake up with a perfect imprint of one in the middle of his forehead."

AND MY FAVORITE:

" Sometimes I give up on bathing, just wear powder.....unless I have to leave the house, then I have to break the cycle and have a shower. "

And the FINE PRINT for QB Members:
WARNING!!! WORST VIRUS EVER TO HIT QUILTING BOARD! The BSTC Virus (Butt Stuck To Chair). The virus glues you to your chair for several hours at a time! No housework will be done, children will starve, the cat will not eat, and the dog will not get its walk. You lose contact with the outside world; your butt goes numb! Warn all friends ~ it's too late for me ~ SAVE YOURSELVES!!!! Mwahahahaha! (Courtesy of madamekelly )

here is the original post...
http://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1...s-t145860.html

and the revised post so everyone didnt have to scroll thru tons of pages.. . http://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1...n-t151255.html



Enjoy !!!!

Happy Quilting !!!

I have one to add: Always check your long arm quilting frame for lost presser feet, thread, needles and scissors BEFORE you buy new ones!

Lots of good advice! Hlarious!

That is great. Who among us can't relate to all the above. What fun. Just so we can laugh at ourselves and have fun doing what we love. Thanks for the laughts this morning. BrendaK

Gonna do these in my other passion, embroidery, and hang them on the studio wall, THANKS!!

Jan in VA

Thanks-I think that I have done most of these.

So enjoyed reading this. #36 is my favorite.

I can add another.

Make sure you have ALL pieces cut out, before using "scraps" for some other project. :p

And make sure that the top is complete before using the cut out pieces for something else!

Make sure that you look at the labels on the products you are using.
Fray Check and sewing machine oil are not interchangeable!

Also - if you have several sewing machines - make sure you are using the correct bobbin for that machine!

Test fabrics of unknown fibers before cutting and/or pressing! Some manmade fibers melt when they get too close to a hot iron.

Make sure that the blade on your rotary cutter is 'sheathed' when you put the cutter down. It is such a bother to have to remove blood from fabric and wherever else it dripped.

Some pets really like to get into thread or other sewing things. That usually does not work out well for the pet. (Or your budget after taking pet to the vet.)

I have nothing to add - but with all of the above I have had a real experience.

Just one question, when did you sneak into my sewing room?
LOL hilarious. So true!!

Oh all so true!! I finished a project I really wasn't into doing today, so I can prep for the virtual quilt in tomorrow...Murphy's Law prevailed!!

Here's another one: you know that needle you threaded to baste your quilt, and how the phone rang so you just poked it thru the quilt and couldn't find it later? 50-50 chance that the vet will find it in your cat's stomach or your grandchild will punture herself with it the first time she uses the quilt.

A couple more:

You know when you dropped all those pins and picked them up. The pins you missed will find their way into DH bare feet -- in another room.

A rotary blade that is "closed" is just as sharp as an open one when you run your finger over the edge.

Just the lift I needed especially about the sewing machine acting up!

One funny post! Certainly puts things into perspective. Makes you wonder why we go through all this. We must soldier on because our stash is threatening to overtake our houses. Believe it's a conspiracy with the underwear gnomes.

Love it! Thank you for posting!

Great list. Thanks for compiling!

those are great - will pass them along to my other quilters... agree I like no. 36 also - thanks friends

I love this list. I have experienced at least half of them....and the rest...now that I know about them, will be ready for them! I can add one that most will never experience. Being in the Deep South & using a converted garage as a sewing room created a unique experience. And, yes, I do have a window ac unit that is pulling out a lot of moisture.

If your sewing area feels too humid, it probably is. Buying a dehumidfier before your stash & cotton thread starts to mold works better than trying to get the mold out. Glad I bought one with a hose connection. Much easier to let the water go down the drain than empty that bucket all the time.

Side note: Wish I could ship all this rain up to the Midwest. We are drowning & they are so very dry.

This is great. I can relate to too many of these items - just a part of quilting life. LOL

so good! one more. don't buy something you misplaced. wait a day or two and when you move your fabric, you'll find it underneath.

Another one:

Sometimes the PATTERN and/or INSTRUCTIONS are wrong!!!!!!!!!!!

And another one..Allways make sure your sewing machine needle is threaded.:o

May I add more..............THINK before you agree to sew Shakespearean costumes, when told "Oh they look complicated, but they're really simple."............. even though he thinks he is, your 3 year old is not "helping"....................... have a friend nearby to say "very" when you look at a million piece quilt and ask "how hard could it be?"................... and finally throw out any directions that start with "simply" or "just". :)

If it is " so simple a child can do it " - Let the child do it !

And the needle is put in the correct way.

An iron heats better when it's plugged in. (I like to unplug mine when I'm wandering away - even though it's supposed to have an automatic shut-off)

Remember to take the cords along for the sewing machine(s) when one goes to a class or retreat - and mark them with some kind of ID!

Never tell anyone how long a project "should only take."

These are SO GOOD! I'm still chuckling ... especially at the one I really relate to! I just think that we are such a unique group of people ... there's no one else like us on earth! We're just wonderful!

My favorite is #62. So true

Wonderful collection of what we've all said to ourselves - no - of what we've all YELLED!
Thanks for the giggles. My fav - 'Honey - can I borrow your hammer.' Except I'd use it on my head.

Awe, too cute!

Great read. I can relate. :)

#32 is so me. I could equip someone with ALL the tools necessary to start quilting. I swear whoever wrote this came to my house and observed me for several days. Thanks luvtooquilt.

thanks for the additions everyone !! Im always good for a chuckle.. I first posted this when i had a really 'bad' quilting day... EVERYTHING went wrong, and instead of getting mad I found humor and decided to share with my QB family who i knew could relate..

Happy Quilting !!!

what a hoot! and so true!

Rule 36 IN: Always keep a yardstick by your work area, pets and other 'pests' will quickly learn what a three foot radius means.

Love it and obviously rings true to us all!