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Beginner64 10-22-2010 09:38 AM

Just remember how to say no.

EagarBeez 10-22-2010 09:42 AM

I think this friend of yours is nervy. If she were any type of friend, she should have asked first before buying this. No matter how, small it may be.
When you visit with her arm yourself with the basics of what you were planning to take, look at the box.
Tell her, that you thought you would be able to squeeze her in sometime in the spring, but unfortunate, you won't be able to.
You have arthritis, and this slows you down a bit. Offer the items to her, and show her how it is done.
This way your off the hook and she can do something for herself.
I disagree with the sight as being a downfall. I am farsighted and wear 2.5 readers and use a magnifying glass that hangs around my neck, when I need it.
I also have a friend who is Blind. She was born that way. Let me tell you, she cooks for her and her partner, she KNITS. She visits people in Hospice. She does just about anything, a sighted person can do, not as well, but, she tries. No reason your friend could not try

bearisgray 10-22-2010 09:48 AM

After re-reading the first posting -

I have a couple of questions?

If your friend bought the kit - it may have been the last one - whatever -

Did she ASK or DEMAND that you make it up for her?

Some people actually think that one is "looking for" projects to do --

She may have just been "dumb/ignorant/unaware" - and didn't fully realize what she was asking - after all, you did make a whole quilt for her.

So - maybe next time - just say something like "That's a cute kit - I hope you enjoy making it up"

Judith 10-22-2010 10:15 AM

My sister taught me an easier way to say No! When she cannot or does not want to do something she always says "That doesn't work for me". As a person who has great difficulty saying No to anyone about anything, this little phrase has made a huge difference in my life! Give it a try. We're rooting for you.

quiltluvr 10-22-2010 10:26 AM

It does no service to anyone involved to come up with an excuse, legit or not. It's an admirable quality to be open and upfront and that should never be equated with rudeness either. Life is so much more peaceful when you can be honest.

From your comment it looks like you're going to go ahead with the project, but for as long as you have that in sight it's going to keep making you angry about the circumstances. Is it worth it? Especially since there's a lot of personal emotion attached to the fact that it's for her husband, who you said you just can't stand. That seems to be the root of the problem more than the presumptuous way your friend acted with coming to you with the project to begin with.

4dogs 10-22-2010 01:41 PM

I think I would suggest to her that SHE learn how to quilt herself........there are always classes around, at the local store or on line, or whatever............

QuiltQtrs 10-22-2010 01:51 PM

How complicated can an 8" x 10" kit be? Or do I have measurements
wrong?

jljack 10-22-2010 02:02 PM

Why all this discussion....the answer is really very simple. Just say NO.

Sadheart 10-22-2010 04:29 PM

"O? You bought a kit. How nice. Your taking a class? Do you have the time? O he will be so proud of you. "
"My I am so sorry. But I have so many things going right now I just wouldn't have the time."
"Perhaps another time.

catrancher 10-22-2010 04:48 PM


Originally Posted by QuiltQtrs
How complicated can an 8" x 10" kit be? Or do I have measurements
wrong?

It's not complicated. It's just the idea that she purchased it expecting me to make it without asking me first. It makes it hard to say no, and I just don't want to for a variety of reasons. I would not have done the same thing to her.


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