I've made quilts for all my brother's and sister's grandchildren.... and I've never seen how they were used. I don't even think about it..... I enjoyed making them. My nieces and nephews now know that there will be a quilt coming when they have an addition to the family and they seem to be excited about it. That's good enough for me.

I do see the quilts I've made for my granddaughter and her little one. She's saving the baby's quilt for an heirloom but the quilt I made her for a wedding gift is used everyday. So, what each person does with the beautiful quilt you make is their choice. After all, it's their quilt now. You gave it away with love..... now move on to the next one.

That made me laugh - sorry - but it reminded me of the very expensive wall quilt I made that a friend persuaded - nagged - me to part with for her wedding anniversary present as it would be 'perfect' on her wall. It ended up - right side up - on a pool table "to prevent the cat from scratching the felt". I wasn't so much hurt as annoyed - I won't 'gift' anything now unless I really want to; I certainly won't have a good quilt wheedled away from me just because someone takes a fancy to it. I think maybe I over react re that quilt because it was the first Mariner's Compass quilt I made and it took me ages to get every point perfect.

I made a lap quilt for a friend of my daughter. This friend was extremely helpful in atime of need and they are quite close. She had been in the Army and her husband was serving his second tour in Iraq so I made her a patriotic quilt. My daughter said she loved it but I never even got an email thank you from her. A few years later I asked my daughter if the friend ever used her quilt and the reply was that she kept it folded over the back of a chair in her bedroom and would not put it on her bed because her dogs would sleep on it. Last year I heard that this friend is suffering from cancer of the cervix. I made her a single bed size quilt of the cancer colors and told her whenever she needed a hug to wrap up in it. I heard from her via facebook but by daughter told me that the friend took it to the hospital with her every time she had to go. This friend is not very demonstrative but when you hear things like that second hand, it kind of makes it all worthwhile.

Maybe they have turned the back side out in order to protect the front!

Some times people love the quilts we give them, but don't want to put them out because "SOME THING MIGHT HAPPEN TO IT". My mom wants to use the quilts I have given her, so she has put one on her bed with a blanket on top "TOO KEEP THE QUILT SAFE" from the dogs. The best part is she take EVERYONE into the bed room and shows them her quilt. It is also the same with showing the BACK. If some one rubs on it or a dog lays on top (bottom up), a toe nail will NOT damage it. Remember we give quilts out of love and to be used - if someone uses it, even if not the way you would like - you need to remember that they are loving it and it is being used. Remember we give gifts from the HEART.

My feelings wouldn't be hurt; I would just be happy that the quilt is being used!

Sometimes the back is displayed to protect the front. So no one will spill on it or the sunlight wont fade it. The same on the bed. Perhaps she rotates what is on top and you just have not seen yours on top. Yes sometimes it hurts but we do not know why they do what they do.

I made crib size quilts years ahead of ever needing them for any future grandchildren that I might have. I prayed someday I'd be a Grandmother and who knew if I'd be able to make quilts when the time came. Fast forward many years later and my daugther was pregnant with our first grandchild and I opened up my hopechest and let her choose which one she wanted for the baby. My granddaugther is now 9 yrs. old and she STILL brings that quilt upstairs with her when she wakes up!! It is now in shreds but she won't take anything new she loves her "Blankie". Her brother who is 4 also loves his quilt. He also brings his upstairs when I am on duty babysitting. It does my heart good that they really do love and appreciate them. But I really am more than ready for my granddaugther to adopt a new, bigger quilt and tuck old Blankie away. But so far she won't hear of it!!

A gift (quilt) has to be given from the heart with no strings attached. You may have seen it in a car, but it may not always be there. It may have been seen under another quilt, but it may not always be there. Yes, it feels good to see quilts out where you know that they are being used, but we can't control what another person does with a quilt that we gift them with.

I'm just happy that they are being used! When you never see them again is the when I get worried! I learned from crocheting and knitting that people don't understand the value of handmade gifts unless they create things also.

I guess I'm the only one here that doesn't stick my nose in someone's bedroom to see if they are using a quilt I gave them.

At least they still have it and have not donated it or given it to the dog! ;)

I agree with others; once it's given, it's out of your hands and control. Yes, my feelings might be a little hurt but I would NEVER say anything.

I try to keep the backing kind of plain so they can put that side out if they like.

Reminds me of the guys living in a Vets Home, a group of us made twin size quilts for their beds and most of them had the quilts' backing showing not the top with pattern.

I've also make quilts for all of the brother's and sister's grandkids, 8 so far - 2 kids in each family, and have to say last time we were all together my nieces each had the kids's quilts in their strollers.

Have to say if I saw one of my quilts thrown in a corner for the dog I might say something like "If I knew you wanted a doggie pad I would have made you one instead as I make them for animal shelters, they go together much quicker and certainly are much less expense for me to make.

I'm just thrilled it's being used, period! :thumbup:

(edited) Just read the comment about the dog using it. If I gave a quilt and later saw it being used for the dog, I'd probably ask for it back, with the promise to make one for the dog.

All of my quilts have been made for a specific person, with the exception of the give-aways during blanket drives and for raffles to help grandchildren go on special adventures. The same couple, extended family, won in two of these two different times! They said that if they won the second year they wanted to have it ignored, and it was. Then the news came that they saw something in that first quilt which upset them (and after studying a picture of it I was able to see it also). I asked for it back so I could take care of the probem, even told them I'd be over on a certain day to get it. They couldn't find it! I called up the hubby at work and talked to him and he admitted they weren't comfortable with it, because of the "picture" and that it just was too busy. I told him to return it and I would make him something "calmer" and asked about his wife's favorite colors. After a lot of thought I decided to make a French braid in the colors she likes (he likes anything she likes), soft and subdued. I even bought one of those roll things to be sure the colors went togeher.

I'm going crazy making this quilt now!!! I love them, but I hate blocks and repeditive patterns! Give me free form quilts any day. My method is to work on the braid every time I begin to work on quilting at least for half an hour. These are special people and they deserve something they might really enjoy. This new one is also a lap robe, or across the foot of the bed (whatzicalled?) quilt. Maybe it will make it into their guest room, maybe not. Maybe when the loved mother comes she will like it and take it home. Great! At least that would mean it not hidden in some deep hole. Anyway, they will know I tried to make them a quilt they will like.

I'd be bummed big time if a quilt I gave was used for a dog's bed. We just got a new puppy and he is going to get a dog bed and blanket, but it isn't going to be pieced! Out of about 100 quilts I've been pretty lucky. They are far from "perfect" but they all have a lot of love stitched into them, even the give-aways.

If it is being used, I don't care. Just as not being misused, ie. in the dog's pen, or the bed of the truck under greasy tools. On the bed, on the couch, in the car, those are good places.

If they are using it all I would be tickled. (Except that hand quilted one that took me a couple of years on the garage floor for a dog bed.) Never said anything but never gave them anything else either. OK another question:Would you want the person you gave a quilt to say right up front "Thanks but I really don't like this." and give it back to you?

What was the "upsetting" picture? hmmmm AND you made another one for them? wow!!
sandy

I am probably too sensitive, but I would be very hurt if a quilt I gave to someone was not treated with respect. I hand quilt, so it takes me most of a year to complete one. Not to mention the cost. I have just completed a first anniversary quilt for my son and DIL and though things are a bit tight right now, I am flying with it to Oregon to hand deliver it. I want to see their faces and hear their voices when they receive it. It they don't like it or don't seem to appreciate what they are getting, it will be the last one I will ever do for them. I feel like I made every stitch with love, and I am definitely emotional tied to the quilt. I guess because I appreciate my grandmother's quilts so much, I want the recipient to have that same feeling of appreciation for what it took for me to complete their quilt.

[QUOTE=Toni C;5449486]If they are using it all I would be tickled. (Except that hand quilted one that took me a couple of years on the garage floor for a dog bed.) Never said anything but never gave them anything else either. OK another question:Would you want the person you gave a quilt to say right up front "Thanks but I really don't like this." and give it back to you?[/QUOT

In that case I would feel free to ask why they didn't like it - the colors, the pattern, the fact that it was a quilt?
I would rather take it back and send them a blanket than have them keep quiet and maybe, maybe not keep the quilt. I'm sure that I liked it or I wouldn't have made it.

It really is funny how we make them and love to see them period. I made one for my great niece and I love when I see pics on Facebook of the baby laying on the quilt. They just moved into a new house and when they took pics to show everyone, I caught a glimpse of my quilt. Another one was on a video just love seeing my quilts.

I gave a wall hanging to some one, the next time I seen it, it was nailed to a wall in the bathroom and backward. Yes, I did have a sleeve & label on it. I asked why he hung it backward, his excuse he wanted everyone to see who made it. No more quilts of any kind for him. I wasn't only hurt, I was very angry.

When I make a quilt and give it away - they may use it as they want to - but my pleasure is in the making - I loved making it, enjoyed the process and and enjoyed the "giving part" on to the next... all of my quilts have been used and loved, - a nice warm feeling.

When you give a quilt away, it isn't your's any more, sad to say. I've never made a bed size quilt except for ME. Don't want anyone to think they HAVE to use it cuz I gave it to them. Refuse to make bed size quilt for wedding gift. What if what I like is not their style? Would hate for a DIL to be pressured to decorate Their bedroom around MY tastes in color and design.

Yes! I would rather have it back. Lots of time and expense goes into quilting. I also want them used and not abused. I also feel that when I spend weeks and pay up to $10 a yard and then pay to have it quilted, a phone call to say thank you would not hurt anyone. You would think someone that sews would know this. All I got was a five word text. I don't expect a marching band with fireworks, but just call and TALK and say THANK YOU.

I have only given quilts to my mom! :lol: and one small one was meant (by me) to be used in her bedroom but she had it on a chair in the living room when I visited. I have to laugh at myself for being slightly miffed. I had another one with me that I made for her bed. It isn't a masterpiece by any means, and the back is about as interesting as the front. I can't be offended if she doesn't end up using it like I pictured.

That's why you have to decide if the person is "quilt worthy" before you give it.

I have enjoyed reading everyone's post on this subject.
My four adult children love my quilts. They each have a lap quilt that they use. This year for Christmas they will all receive a queen size quilt. My 2 SILs like theirs. I've made wall hangings for them and they are displayed. My youngest son is not very careful with things and I knew he would use his for camping so I made it with cotton/poly and polyester batting to be more durable and washable and tied it. My daughters wanted Christmas quilts so they are big enough for lap quilts but also have a sleeve so they can hang them.
My grandson has 4 quilts I have made him. He is 7. One was very involved for his bed. Two were for laying on the floor etc. One was for his teddy bear. Every time he comes to visit and sees a new quilt in progress he asks if it is for him. (He loves getting them.)
I made one for my niece as a wedding gift and asked her mom about colors. I gave a sheet of care directions (ie. how to wash etc.) with it. She loved the quilt. When they moved into their first home they decorated their bedroom around the quilt. I received a beautiful note of thanks from them.
I make toddler quilts for my great nieces and nephews and tell them they are theirs to use as forts, for watching tv etc. My sister told me that her grand daughter took hers everywhere with her.
I made a baby quilt for my daughter's best friend and she said no one had ever done anything so nice for her, she hung it in the nursery. It was the 3rd quilt I ever made. Her daughter is now 12. It did get used but not the way I expected. As others have said we can't control how they are used once given.
My mom uses hers everyday on her bed. I make her window hangings for her front door. She can change them out. It keeps the drafts out of her house. She loves looking at them.
I guess I've been lucky. They have all been appreciated.
When I make one for my brother I will take into consideration that his dog gets on the bed so it will be very durable and washable. I know he will use it and appreciate it.
I think because we were encouraged as kids to make gifts for birthdays and Christmas my siblings appreciate homemade things and so do their children.

I was hurt
 

Several years ago, I made a Christmas quilt for the family of our first exchange student. When they sent pictures of their celebration, my quilt was on the back of their couch, backwards. When she went home, I made her a log cabin quilt and sent her parents a flying geese quilt. They took a picture of the quilt, again backwards on their bed. My feelings is they are using my quilts that I gifted them, for allowing their daughter to travel to the USA from Germany. The quilts are their's to use and how they use them is OK with me.

My former SIL used his grandmother's handmade quilts as acoustical wadding in his music room. My DD refused to have quilts that I had given her used that way and it caused a huge disagreement. My DD has asked that he give her those quilts (holes and all) to her for their DD but so far he has said no. My DGD has made her 1st quilt. She is 9. Yippee.

My grandmother made me a scrappy postcard quilt (cut using a post card as template) which has been used for everything and now resides in the back of the SUV full time to protect the carpet. I have had to recover the back because it has been used so much. I am sure she never envisioned that quilt being used that way but she did make it to be used and BOY! has it ever been used. Point is, use depends on the recipient and is up to them. I purposely make quilts that will be used and "abused" and take it as a compliment when a replacement is called for.

Gramie,
What good insight you have about your children and your quilts. Thanks for posting your response. It reminds us mothers to try to let our children be who they are, and not who we think they should be.

AMEN! A quilt is made for the joy of creating. Should you care to share it with someone fine but the reward is in seeing it finished.

Beautifully said. Much nicer that my perhaps to sever reply.

I personally put my heart and soul into every quilt I make. They cost a great deal of money and lots of work and time, so yes, I would get hurt if someone didn't use it. I have given very few of my quilts away and when I have, I have made very sure the colors and design match the person. I have had very good results, so far. This Christmas I will be giving away many quilted items as gifts and I am planning on thinking that what they do with their 'gifts' is their business, not mine.

my mother was a great 'starter' but not a finisher....lots of single blocks in her trash....
the only item that made it to any size was catheral window (all done by hand of course)
that ended up almost 3 feet square.
my husband made a wood frame for it and it hangs in my sewing studio....
I am very proud to look upon it on a daily basis and can not imagine it in a closet....

The worst hurt is when you go to visit and see the quilt you made being used for the dog to lay on!!

I personally think "on display on a chair in her living room" is actually a more prestigious place than her bedroom. Obviously she is very proud of it and wants people to see it! Congrats.

I'm a relatively new quiltmaker and so far I have given only one "quilt" away--a Labyrinth tabletopper in patriotic colors to a friend whose husband is retired Navy. I gave it to her because when she learned I had begun quilting and knew why it was important to me, she, several times, sent me quilting magazines. When she called enthusiastically thanking me for the tabletopper I told her she could pass it on if she liked and she said "no one's getting this out of my hands!" What she will actually do with it, I have no idea and will probably never know since she lives in another state. The truth is, her friendship and encouragement is why I gave it and why she so graciously accepted it. The quilt itself is less important (though I did love the little thing when I finished it and I think she meant it when she said she loved it, too). Also: if I don't already know someone's taste, I usually just feel them out about whether or not they would like a quilt (or any handmade gift). Many don't, plain and simple. And that's their perogative.

A few years ago I gave my DS and DIL a beautiful (it was the pattern and colors that made it so) crocheted afghan, which they had expressed a great desire to have when they saw me working on it. They loved it when they got it but they are careless with possessions and there's no telling where that afghan is today. But I knew that when I gave it and I gave it anyway. I'm currently handquilting a large throw size quilt for their son (also somewhat careless) and I can't predict it's ultimate fate either. Do I regret the care--or lack thereof--of the things I made with love and by my own hands? Yes. Can I do anything about it? No. Unless quilters want to keep every quilt they make (I don't, nor do I have room) then these are the chances they take. By that same token, I keep certain things I've made simply because I won't take that chance; I recently made a small attic windows quilt that I will keep "just because". But for the ones I give, I take pictures, hope for the best, and try not to judge. And what I hold to is the joy and appreciation I saw when I gave them.

Last Christmas I made my youngest grandson a Minesweeper "doll" (he calls it a figure) and more recently a Steve "doll" (from the same online video game). I found a kind of pattern for one, the other I had to make up, as they say, out of whole cloth....in this case fleece. :) His genuine delight in these gifts made my day and if they are now forgotten under the bed or out in the backyard (which I don't believe) I still remember how thrilled he was to get them and that makes it worth it.

This post prompted a LOT of responses. I doubt any of us would feel quite the same about gifts we bought as about the things we create with our mind, heart and hands!