Riebejamen

(hopefully this is the right spot to ask for advice!)
I belong to an Applique Bee that meets once a month at a specific member's home. The Bee moved from the quilt store, where anyone was welcome to a now limited number. I've belonged to this Bee for 2 1/2 years. All of the ladies are older than I am (10-20 years). It seems that all they do is complain and whine. And many topics are over my experience. When I made a comment about the local show and asked for opinions, I was abruptly told that "we don't discuss whining and complaints." Why is it ok for them, but not me? I also hear the same health and food allergy complaints month after month by another member. Is it my age? These women have known each other for years, and don't seem to be good friends, and everyone thinks that their version is the best. There are two members that have helped me improve my applique technique greatly. Both are award winning. I am reluctant to loose them. There haven't been any other appliquers that have helped me, except these two. One is the organizer, the other the hostess. Do I bow out and continue on my own? I really like the hostess, do I ask her how she handles the group conversations? I have no idea how she feels about the topics. She is usually very quiet during the Bees. There are two of us in the Bee that that feel this way. My friend is probably going to stop coming. I feel ignored and frustrated and surrounded by women who complain for several hours and show little interest in others. I don't know how to even bring this up to the organizer, she's shot me down a few times. I am torn, I have advice available, and I do get a few hours to focus on my current project, but do I stay or do I go? Thanks.

MellieKQuilter

I say stop going. Negativity begets negativity... why not host something in your own home once a month? This way you can invite the few that are pleasant and helpful (and worl on your own but get help during this time), and you all can help each other at this event. Make it a Saturday Social or something, and keep it small and enjoyable. I would bet the others would love it! :) Just keep in mind, no complaining about the other ladies. Start fresh and keep this POSITIVE. :)

kraftykimberly

Just my opinion, but if it were me, I would be outta there. The cons just seem to out weigh the pros and my time is worth more to me than to spend it in a situation I dont enjoy. In the end though, its just depends on what you want to sacrifice, your valuable time or the knowledge you might gain if you did stay. I'd sacrifice the possible knowledge, but again, thats just me. Hope you figure it out, I know its frustating for you.

trolleystation

Stay away from that group. It will wear down your creativity and you will lose interest in quilting. Maybe you could ask at your LQS to see if there are other groups in the area. My daughter just joined a really nice group at her LQS. Keep the telephone number of your two favorite members...maybe they are fed up too.

BrendaK

You said that at the quilt store all were welcome, but now it's a limited number. Did they welcome all of the other members or were just a few invited to join your group? Talk to your hostess. Did the organizer invite you to join this group? It sounds as though you are not really enjoying the time you spend there. Sounds like you and your friend need to make your own group? You may have other friends that want to learn but didn't get into the group. Hang in there and I know that you will figure it out. As said before keep the numbers of the people you like and keep in touch with them. Hugs. BrendaK

susie-susie-susie

It seems to me that you will loose nothing if you bring it up the the hostess/organizer. It sounds like she is getting fed up with the complaining since she is usually so quiet at the meetings. If I am wrong, you will loose nothing since you are ready to quit anyway. Then you can begin another group and eliminate the complainers/nasty ladies. There was no excuse for that person to jump all over you that way. Good luck, and speak up for yourself. It's not worth the agrivation just to improve your applique.
Sue

QuiltnNan

if you hit your thumb with a hammer, would you keep hitting it? if it's not fun with them, don't do it with them. quilting should be fun.

Kehoeta

Nancy is right - lose the negativity - it is already wearing you down - or you wouldn't be asking the question.

ChrisB

I would not stay either. I attended one church sponsored quilt meeting several years ago and you either did things the organizer's way or it was wrong. When she jumped my case at my FIRST meeting, I did not go back.

yonnikka

A starting point is selecting a different time of the day or a different day of the week when you and your one friend can meet together, maybe re-contacting the shop where it all began, for a location. A new group of two can grow to three or four with less complainers and less complaints. You can do it.