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Thread: What do you do when....

  1. #1
    davidwent's Avatar
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    Ok doing my first quilt I spent a LOT of time working on it, all nighters ect. So when I finished the top I started cutting my second. Now my wife is saying I am spending too much time doing this. So what do you do when your spouse says...your spending too much time quilting?
    Thank you for any suggestions
    David

  2. #2
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    HAAAAA...they will always say that. Maybe get her to join you, so she can see how fun it is, and then you both will be lost in time quilting.

  3. #3
    Shari1967's Avatar
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    I think my husband gets a bit tired of my crafting (not just quilting but all of it that I do) at times. So I give him a couple of nights just watching TV and that seems to work for a while. LOL

  4. #4
    Super Member Debbie B's Avatar
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    I tell my husband that he spends too much time playing golf...hahaha.

  5. #5
    Super Member JulieR's Avatar
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    It's just like anything else in a marriage - balance and compromise are key! Everyone can get what they want, you just need to work together to figure out what that is and how to get there.

    I quilt in the living room with my husband. I'm planning to move my sewing all upstairs shortly, with part of the room being dedicated to my husband's musical instruments (he's a musician and music teacher) so he can practice while I quilt.

    You'll work it out. :)

  6. #6
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    my guy wants to move his drums, keyboard and trumpet into my sewing room just to be in there...I told him there isn't room for an entire musical studio.

  7. #7
    Power Poster cjomomma's Avatar
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    I tell mine that it beats sitting on the couch zombified watching whatever sports game that happens to be on the tv. It usually shuts him up plus he likes me sane.

  8. #8
    Super Member JulieR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by frugalfabrics
    my guy wants to move his drums, keyboard and trumpet into my sewing room just to be in there...I told him there isn't room for an entire musical studio.
    Why not?

  9. #9
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    His drums alone would take up half the room...so I'd have to move my cutting table out...

    We've agreed that his keyboard and trumpet can go in, but the drums need to stay in the music room.

  10. #10
    Super Member JulieR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by frugalfabrics
    His drums alone would take up half the room...so I'd have to move my cutting table out...

    We've agreed that his keyboard and trumpet can go in, but the drums need to stay in the music room.
    Perfect!

    David, this is a perfect example. :)

  11. #11
    Cyn
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    Share the time!

  12. #12
    Super Member k9dancer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by davidwent
    Ok doing my first quilt I spent a LOT of time working on it, all nighters ect. So when I finished the top I started cutting my second. Now my wife is saying I am spending too much time doing this. So what do you do when your spouse says...your spending too much time quilting?
    Thank you for any suggestions
    David
    I make him a lovely cup of tea, give him a gentle caress, and then I say the magic words, " Yes, Dear."
    Then I go back to what I was doing.

    Actually, my DH does not mind my quilting time. I made a big quilt for his cousin's wedding gift this year, and everyone appreciated the effort.

  13. #13
    Senior Member FQ Stash Queen's Avatar
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    Part of my compromise is to spend Sunday football doing handwork while we watch NFL. I'm spending time with him, he gets to scream at the TV, and I pretend I'm paying attention. It works all the way around.

  14. #14
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    David - LISTEN to your wife.

    My husband got a Korg M1 synthesizer about 15 years ago. He spent every free waking moment on it. Stayed up late, got up early, etc. Became cranky with us. One night, at 2:00 AM, I heard his fingers thumping on the keyboard (a full room away), so I got out of bed and went to that room. He was engrossed in his music. I called his name. No response - couldn't hear me through the headphones. Not wanting to wake the rest of the household, I walked over and tapped him on the shoulder. He JUMPED out of his chair, and told me never to 'sneak up' on him like that again. It seems I had one of my wiser moments - turned and left the room instead of telling him what I thought...

    The next day, he told me that he thought I was jealous of his Korg because I 'always' interrupted him when he was playing on it - "like last night". So I explained that, at 2 in the A.M. on a work night, when he had to get up at 6:30 A.M. to go to work, it was perfectly natural for me to wonder where he was, why he wasn't in bed, and to remind him that he had to work the next day. And that all the 'interruptions' were normal communications between husband and wife - if he was no longer interested in the relationship we could arrange something more to his liking.

    He listened and we got through that obsession. So listen to your wife and make time for her. Your relationship with her is the most important relationship in your lives. She's right - all nighters are obsessive. As JulieR says, find the balance. Put yourself on a schedule, and make sure you always make time for wife and family. You'll both be happier.

  15. #15
    Power Poster amma's Avatar
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    Maybe handquilt them in the evenings watching tv together?
    Work out a schedule of "you" time and "together" time? D:D:D

  16. #16
    davidwent's Avatar
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    Thank you Cathy and all of you!!! I must admit comprise has not been my middle name, but i understand that I must make tese adjustments. As always you all are soooooo helpful!!
    Thank you
    David

  17. #17
    Power Poster Prism99's Avatar
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    Tell her the next quilt's for her. What pattern and fabric does she want?

  18. #18
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    Watching tv every evening leaves me feeling brain dead and often irritable so I work on hand sewing in the tv room with my DH so we are together and I am busy and can ignore the tv. Then when I really need to be in another room for a short while, he is content knowing I'd really rather be with him. He is great and helps me make decisions about fabric choices and even helps with ideas for new designs.

  19. #19
    Jim
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    my wife and I quilt together...she does the quilting I make the tops...its the computer that drives her insane...but I despise old reruns and old movies that she loves..if I've seen it once thats it for me...so we have a tv in the computer room...but we are together 24/7 now and have been married almost 37 yrs...so it all works out

  20. #20
    pookie ookie's Avatar
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    I say, "Just one more row..."

    It's what my grandmother said when my grandfather interrupted her knitting. It's code for "Let me know if the house is on fire or you want to take me to the LQS."

    Now, if you're wife is sincerely saying, and your inner voice is agreeing, that you spent too much time on quilting, make a schedule and stick to it. It sure is easy to let some things slide while we're having fun. Good to learn some discipline in the beginning.

    I know a certain someone who can play a video game all night. I think we can all agree that "all night" for just about anything is not good. :0D

    Also try sewing next to her while watching TV. She might not like it or she might appreciate the company. It works for me. Would she like a dedicated date night? Or, maybe a joint craft project?

    Just try to stay away from the all nighters. Unless someone is paying you and you're on a deadline. That's about the only socially acceptable reason for sewing all night long.

  21. #21
    Senior Member craftyone27's Avatar
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    Moderation is the key!! Unless you are really on a deadline to get a project done in a hurry - try to avoid the all-nighters if they upset your wife. Obsessing over a new hobby can be a bit annoying for a spouse. See if you can interest her in helping with a new project - maybe something for the two of you - and let her help pick out the fabrics. If you can get her involved you may find a great hobby you can enjoy together! Good luck!!

  22. #22
    Power Poster ckcowl's Avatar
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    tell her she needs a hobby of her own!
    my hubby is so good about being (supportive) when i am in the sewing room but there are times when he wanders down the hall to say..."how's it going?, or.. are you about ready for a break?...or...are we having dinner tonight? :-D or are you coming to bed?...
    after awhile they just learn...this is how it is...it is what quilters do...
    she will get used to it...just ease her into it...and take a break once in awhile and spend a few minutes in her world... :thumbup:

  23. #23
    Power Poster dkabasketlady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by amma
    Maybe handquilt them in the evenings watching tv together?
    Work out a schedule of "you" time and "together" time? D:D:D
    This is what I do!! I sew during the day when my hubby is at work and handquilt at night when he's watching tv!! It works for us!! We just had our 27th anniversary on Tues.

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