What do you do when....
12-23-2010, 07:06 PM
#12
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Mena, Arkansas
Posts: 1,352
Originally Posted by davidwent
Ok doing my first quilt I spent a LOT of time working on it, all nighters ect. So when I finished the top I started cutting my second. Now my wife is saying I am spending too much time doing this. So what do you do when your spouse says...your spending too much time quilting?
Thank you for any suggestions
David
Thank you for any suggestions
David
Then I go back to what I was doing.
Actually, my DH does not mind my quilting time. I made a big quilt for his cousin's wedding gift this year, and everyone appreciated the effort.
12-23-2010, 07:10 PM
#13
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Macon, Ga
Posts: 655
Part of my compromise is to spend Sunday football doing handwork while we watch NFL. I'm spending time with him, he gets to scream at the TV, and I pretend I'm paying attention. It works all the way around.
12-23-2010, 07:13 PM
#14
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Posts: 8,291
David - LISTEN to your wife.
My husband got a Korg M1 synthesizer about 15 years ago. He spent every free waking moment on it. Stayed up late, got up early, etc. Became cranky with us. One night, at 2:00 AM, I heard his fingers thumping on the keyboard (a full room away), so I got out of bed and went to that room. He was engrossed in his music. I called his name. No response - couldn't hear me through the headphones. Not wanting to wake the rest of the household, I walked over and tapped him on the shoulder. He JUMPED out of his chair, and told me never to 'sneak up' on him like that again. It seems I had one of my wiser moments - turned and left the room instead of telling him what I thought...
The next day, he told me that he thought I was jealous of his Korg because I 'always' interrupted him when he was playing on it - "like last night". So I explained that, at 2 in the A.M. on a work night, when he had to get up at 6:30 A.M. to go to work, it was perfectly natural for me to wonder where he was, why he wasn't in bed, and to remind him that he had to work the next day. And that all the 'interruptions' were normal communications between husband and wife - if he was no longer interested in the relationship we could arrange something more to his liking.
He listened and we got through that obsession. So listen to your wife and make time for her. Your relationship with her is the most important relationship in your lives. She's right - all nighters are obsessive. As JulieR says, find the balance. Put yourself on a schedule, and make sure you always make time for wife and family. You'll both be happier.
My husband got a Korg M1 synthesizer about 15 years ago. He spent every free waking moment on it. Stayed up late, got up early, etc. Became cranky with us. One night, at 2:00 AM, I heard his fingers thumping on the keyboard (a full room away), so I got out of bed and went to that room. He was engrossed in his music. I called his name. No response - couldn't hear me through the headphones. Not wanting to wake the rest of the household, I walked over and tapped him on the shoulder. He JUMPED out of his chair, and told me never to 'sneak up' on him like that again. It seems I had one of my wiser moments - turned and left the room instead of telling him what I thought...
The next day, he told me that he thought I was jealous of his Korg because I 'always' interrupted him when he was playing on it - "like last night". So I explained that, at 2 in the A.M. on a work night, when he had to get up at 6:30 A.M. to go to work, it was perfectly natural for me to wonder where he was, why he wasn't in bed, and to remind him that he had to work the next day. And that all the 'interruptions' were normal communications between husband and wife - if he was no longer interested in the relationship we could arrange something more to his liking.
He listened and we got through that obsession. So listen to your wife and make time for her. Your relationship with her is the most important relationship in your lives. She's right - all nighters are obsessive. As JulieR says, find the balance. Put yourself on a schedule, and make sure you always make time for wife and family. You'll both be happier.
12-23-2010, 07:29 PM
#16
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ayer Ma.
Posts: 489
Thank you Cathy and all of you!!! I must admit comprise has not been my middle name, but i understand that I must make tese adjustments. As always you all are soooooo helpful!!
Thank you
David
Thank you
David
12-23-2010, 10:11 PM
#18
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,611
Watching tv every evening leaves me feeling brain dead and often irritable so I work on hand sewing in the tv room with my DH so we are together and I am busy and can ignore the tv. Then when I really need to be in another room for a short while, he is content knowing I'd really rather be with him. He is great and helps me make decisions about fabric choices and even helps with ideas for new designs.
12-24-2010, 12:32 AM
#19
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Bardstown, Kentucky
Posts: 2,156
my wife and I quilt together...she does the quilting I make the tops...its the computer that drives her insane...but I despise old reruns and old movies that she loves..if I've seen it once thats it for me...so we have a tv in the computer room...but we are together 24/7 now and have been married almost 37 yrs...so it all works out
12-24-2010, 12:48 AM
#20
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Trifid Nebula
Posts: 1,304
I say, "Just one more row..."
It's what my grandmother said when my grandfather interrupted her knitting. It's code for "Let me know if the house is on fire or you want to take me to the LQS."
Now, if you're wife is sincerely saying, and your inner voice is agreeing, that you spent too much time on quilting, make a schedule and stick to it. It sure is easy to let some things slide while we're having fun. Good to learn some discipline in the beginning.
I know a certain someone who can play a video game all night. I think we can all agree that "all night" for just about anything is not good. :0D
Also try sewing next to her while watching TV. She might not like it or she might appreciate the company. It works for me. Would she like a dedicated date night? Or, maybe a joint craft project?
Just try to stay away from the all nighters. Unless someone is paying you and you're on a deadline. That's about the only socially acceptable reason for sewing all night long.
It's what my grandmother said when my grandfather interrupted her knitting. It's code for "Let me know if the house is on fire or you want to take me to the LQS."
Now, if you're wife is sincerely saying, and your inner voice is agreeing, that you spent too much time on quilting, make a schedule and stick to it. It sure is easy to let some things slide while we're having fun. Good to learn some discipline in the beginning.
I know a certain someone who can play a video game all night. I think we can all agree that "all night" for just about anything is not good. :0D
Also try sewing next to her while watching TV. She might not like it or she might appreciate the company. It works for me. Would she like a dedicated date night? Or, maybe a joint craft project?
Just try to stay away from the all nighters. Unless someone is paying you and you're on a deadline. That's about the only socially acceptable reason for sewing all night long.
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