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Thread: What I figured out last Christmas...

  1. #26
    Super Member mequilter's Avatar
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    I know exactly what you mean........the flannel quilt I made my daughter is in her dog's kennel, cause the dog just loves to cuddle up with it! That was a few years ago but the hurt is still there. But anything I give to my BFF is so well loved and appreciated. She told me that she'd be hurt if I ever gave her something that was store bought. I don't hesitate to make things for her.

  2. #27
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    Great idea, Heather! I dont think your post is negative at all, actually pretty helpful....I am sure all of us know at least some body who doesnt appreciate HM!!!!!!!!

  3. #28
    Power Poster earthwalker's Avatar
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    Good thinking...and I really love your fleece blankets and thanks for sharing how you make them.

  4. #29
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    Great idea.

  5. #30
    Super Member damaquilts's Avatar
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    I will just bet everyone has a story like that. My ex MIL was my nemesis in all things.Nothing I did was ever good enough for her. When I think of all the time I wasted trying to please her . well live and learn. I spent an entire year making hand pieced and hand quilted quilts when I first started.(MIL, GMIL,loved it and step mom never used too nice) I spent the time making blocks from all the cities /states they(inlaws) had lived in. Quite a job for a new quilter . She unwrapped it held it up with 2 fingers said that's nice and dropped it on the floor. I have never forgotten that. And unless I know for sure someone is going to appreciate my work they get nada!.

  6. #31
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    This quilt that I am finishing by hand quilting, needle turn applique, old barns with silk ribbon embroidery embellishment,, has taken me one year to complete, I would hate to let someone have it and put it down to wipe muddy feet on. know haow you felt when you saw stuff in the floor board of the car.

  7. #32
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    I've also had this experience . Once when my DD laughed at the placemats I had machine embroidered with beautiful birds. Also when a couple of crocheted aphgans were used as dog beds. And she still asks me to do items for her.

  8. #33
    Super Member moonrise's Avatar
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    I've never had anyone say anything directly to me, but I made something for my mom a few years ago (not a quilt, but it was pretty time-consuming).

    A few months later, she had it out at her yard sale. She knew I was coming by (and when), but she didn't even bother to "hide" it so I wouldn't see that she was selling it. :evil:

    I picked it up, and commented that I made it (which she knew). She didn't say a word.

    Then I asked her how much she wanted for it, and I took it back home with me. :P

  9. #34

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    I have a similar story... I made a lone star quilt for my son and new DIL. It took me a long time to do the piecing as it was my first one. Then, it took me 5 weeks to hand quilt it. I gave it to them for Christmas and sat with both of them and told them the proper care for a handmade quilt. I said things like, "This is not a camping quilt or a picnic blanket or a quilt your children would play with. It shouldn't be washed a lot." The next time I was at their house, the kids had it on the floor and they were making forts with it. So I made the kids each a tied flannel blanket. The next time I was at their home after that, the quilt was again being used for fort building and the flannel blankets were in the top of their closets. I have also been on several camping trips with them and they have brought the quilt every time. Last year I got wise and gave them all sleeping bags for Christmas and this summer was the first time I didn't see the quilt camping with them. I must admit it's like a knife sticking in my heart every time I see that quilt being so misused. I too, love them both dearly, but I decided to protect my feelings, and they will get nothing that is handmade from me again.

  10. #35
    Super Member mimiknoxtaylor's Avatar
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    I was a nurse in L&D for 20 years & never, ever got such a nice gift! Of course the hospital had a policy against such lavish gifts. Thanks for sharing the tip about giving the fleece first :lol:

  11. #36
    Super Member ksea's Avatar
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    My DH and went on a fabric/quilt store trip a month or so ago and on our trip we encountered a wonderful Amish woman who had some of her handemade quilts for sale. I am a full time student and I don't have all the time to quilt that I would like to have. I have 6 kids and 12 grandchildren, all but the youngest DGD (10 months) have a quilt that I made (hers is in the works, will be a birthday gift) but the kids don't have theirs yet but 5 of them have picked out their patterns and fabric. One DD lives in AZ and hasn't picked hers out yet, so on this trip my DD picked out a quilt that the Amish woman had for sale, it was just beautifully done, lots of beautiful hand stitching on it, he paid $600. for it. I mailed it to the daughter in Az and 3 days after she got it she called and said "nice blanket dad" she hadn't even taken it out of the box! My husband was heartbroken, he explained what it was and my DD was ashamed that she hadn't even looked at it. Any way he says she will never get any of the quilts that I make because if it doesn't come from a designer store it isn't good enough for her or her home.

  12. #37
    reneebobby's Avatar
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    That is a great idea. I wish I would of had that information years ago when I made, quilts, afghans, dresses and stuff that well, I would say were given to good will. Okay can't complain on the good will part at least someone will love it even if they don't know who made it.

  13. #38
    Senior Member HeatherQuilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lynn7448
    Just to clarify-- when you sew the 1/4 inch seam of the folded over front, you are sewing this through the back side, correct?
    Yes, through all the layers, with a straight stitch. Although, now that I think about it, I should probably have used a slight zigzag, to allow for the stretching of the fleece) Ours seems to be holding up fine, though!

  14. #39
    Senior Member ellenmg's Avatar
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    OMG, I am flabbergasted at these stories, but not really surprised..Great idea of making a small item to gauge response...I did make fleece double-sided lap blankets for MIL, FIL and Step MIL. I do not see them out during the winter so I can guess they are not being used....That's 3 off the quilt list....
    I am making a quilt now for a neighbor, older gentleman, and I have involved him in picking pattern, and took him with me to buy fabric. That worked out well, as he fell in love with a woodsy print he saw and we threw out our original pattern for this fabric....(He got bitten by the design bug!) He says he has a new appreciation for how much work goes into a quilt...I have pieced it and after several thoughts, I am quilting bear paws across it....

  15. #40
    Senior Member sew_southern's Avatar
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    Good idea! Smart & cheaper way to find out! :)

  16. #41

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    It's true. When I give a quilt away I always give it to someone that I know will be appreciative and love it. I love making quilts for people (my husband complains that everything I make is always given away), but I tailor it to the person and "screen" who I'm giving it to.

  17. #42
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    Face it people - there are quilters, and there are people who love quilts, but don't make them.............then there is everyone else - people that do not have a single clue about what goes into the making a quilt -oh, it's not just sewing some fabric together, it is the deciding, the planning, the feeling of the fabric, the pride we feel as everything comes together; so many steps as we beam that it is completely finished, maybe labeled, and perhaps a picture is taken of it - and then - the recipiant, with just their lack of enthusiasm, crushes us like a bug on the sidewalk. I have told this before, but a new neighbor asked me to make a quilt for her, I did, no pay, just to be neighborly, and when I saw it shortly after..YIKES - it was on her bed - IT HAD BEEN WASHED AND DRIED WITH TOWELS!!!!!I am still CRUSHED!!!

  18. #43
    Junior Member quiltease's Avatar
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    I have dear friends who after many years of marriage were finally expecting a baby. I made them a quilted baby blanket. A year or so later when I was visiting I didn't see the quilt anywhere. Laura proudly showed me it was tucked in a drawer because "it was too nice to use". Thirteen years later it is still in the drawer. I did make them a lap quilt which was thrown over the couch for a while. Probably in a drawer now, too. It takes me a while to learn.
    bev.

  19. #44
    Super Member nursie76's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joyce
    WOW!
    I'll bet that nurse went home as happy as a clam.
    I know I sure would have.
    I was thinking the same thing. Your work on the quilt may not have been appreciated by its intended recipient, but I am almost certain the nurse did or she would not have accepted it...so long story short, the intended person may not spend chilly winter nights warmed by it, but someone whom you don't even know is most likely warmed and comforted by your work. Sort of like an unplanned random act of kindness.

    Bless you for trying to comfort your friend.

  20. #45

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    Humans are unreal at times. And no, some just do not realize (THINK) about the work, time, thought and money spent on making a particular item for someone we love (even just like). I could write a chapter about my MIL and closet where all of my hand make gifts were found, even the memory pillow (velvet pillow with roses make of her son's (my husband's) ties was seen buried under junk. Take heart, you are not alone and you are appreciated by LOTS of people. You are special.

  21. #46
    Senior Member renee765's Avatar
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    HeatherQuilt - what a beautiful and non-antagonizing way to figure out who would appreciate your quilts! Your idea makes it painless for all involved - wish I had thought of it, but glad you shared it with us!

    I have to admit that, in my younger years, I had possession of a quilt made by my husband's grandmother that I didn't appreciate. I had been given the quilt by his mother, who had not taken care of it, and I continued the bad treatment. I did not know at that time what it takes to make a quilt, and the love that goes in to it. Not a day goes by now that I don't think of that quilt, and wish to heaven's that I had known what I really had. I apologize to Grandma Hutchison in Heaven- and have to live with the knowledge that I didn't take care of her quilt. I always think of this when I hear about others who don't appreciate homemade quilts. I was this way out of ignorance, not out of irreverance, and I'm sure many others are the same.

    Your idea to weed out the ignorant is fantastic!

  22. #47
    Senior Member Woodster's Avatar
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    My husband's business partner and friend and his wife's baby turned 1 in May. I made one of the superfast jellyroll quilts for the baby. I got thanked for the blanket! Their 4 year old got some books and a huge bubble wand for his birthday in July!

    On the other end of the rainbow, both my daughters got a crotched throw from me when they went off to college. They still get used like their favorite "blankies".

    I hope this isn't too morbid, but my SIL is a Long-armer in CA. When my MIL (her mom) was diagnosed in the final stages of pancreatic cancer, she asked for a prayer quilt she could take with her. So Lin made one for her and Ruthie was comforted by it in her final days.

  23. #48
    JJs
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    The one thing that amazes me the most is people have no clue how much $$$$ is involved in a quilt... let's not even consider $8-$12 LQS fabric - we'll use WM or markdown fabric as our example, and we STILL have boocoo bucks involved in just the top... then there's the batting, and then backing...
    Yet there are people who consider a gifted quilt a "cheap" gift, "homemade to save money" mentality.
    Or they see quilts at WM for $30 or at Cracker Barrel for $100 and consider them low cost items.
    When sewing machines became available for the home it was a big deal, the machines were very ornate because if you could AFFORD a machine, you wanted to display it (show off if you will).
    So the people who could NOT afford such luxury had to come up with a way to disparage another's good fortune and they made fun of machine sewn stuff.....and all of a sudden the only "real" quilt was a handmade one.
    Then people made more money and could afford 'store bought' - and they could lord it over the ones who couldn't, so 'store bought' became the goal and homemade was put down...
    While I was growning up the transition was from "homemade" to "store bought" (after WWII). Nobody wanted homemade anymore.
    Now it's all designer stuff that people want - frankly I don't understand the mentality of having what everybody else has - before Miley got crazy all the preteen girls were gaga over Miley Cirus stuff - it's still in the stores, and before that it was those two twins....
    I guess the point of this rambling essay is that some people will ALWAYS appreciate what you did and what you made and how much you poured into it of money/yourself and others just won't get it.
    It's a hard lesson to learn ...

  24. #49
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    It is all about knowing (or finding out) who will really appreciate your work.

    I have to admit that despite being a quilter and knowing the amount of work in handmade items I still prefer store bought gifts (electronics & jewelry, please, LOL!). Up to the 90's Ireland was still a relatively poor place, and handmade gifts were something that we gave and received because we didn't have much money to buy something nice. I still have that mindset to some extent, although one wall hanging I was given which was specifically tailored to my colours and "likes" has pride of place in my computer room.

    So when I give a quilt I always say that I won't be the least bit offended if they use it at the beach, hand it on to someone else or drop it into the local charity shop. What happens after I give it doesn't bother me since I usually choose to make a specific quilt because I want to try a pattern or technique, and I've accomplished that when the quilt is done. If I think it's really good I tend to keep it, when they're piled up too high I get the extended family and friends in to pick out whatever ones they want (if any).

    My mum was hanging on to two lap quilts that she never used (she prefers the wool rug my dh gave her) just to avoid hurting my feelings! I ended up putting them in her Vincent de Paul donation box myself and I could see how relieved she was to have them gone without me being upset.

  25. #50
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    Sorry Lori. My little dog has 2 quilts of his own that I made and he loves quilts as much as I do.

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