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Thread: What would U do in this case.....

  1. #1
    Senior Member Born2Sew's Avatar
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    Fellow quilters I would love some advice from you folks.
    About two months ago I happened to run across a local fellow quilter. She told me she needed some red plaid flannel to finish a quilt she was making for her son's upcoming wedding. Told her I thought I had some and when I got home I pulled out every piece of red plaid flannel that I had. I called her and she was only minutes away at that time and stopped by to see my flannel. She said she'd take it all, and when she got home she would measure it and call me and we could agree on a price.

    First mistake on my part was calling her before I saw how much was there. Especially since this was not just one piece but several. I just didn't think about her stopping by so soon that day.

    I haven't heard a word from her since she left that day.
    Would you...let it go and forget it.
    or call her and ask how the quilt turned out...
    or ask if the fabric worked out okay for her...

    Fact is, I can live with it if she can. I was simply trying to help out a fellow quilter and somewhat of a neighbor although she lives several miles from me. (in the back country)

    It just bothers me when people don't follow through with what they say they'll do. It really isn't that much about the $$$, it's more about principle to me.

    Thanks guys, I appreciate your opinions and thoughts.

    Born2Sew

  2. #2
    Super Member donnajean's Avatar
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    I would call her & ask if she decided on which pieces she wanted. Unless you specifically said you were "giving" all to her, she should at least return what she did not use & offer to pay for something is used.

  3. #3
    Power Poster ckcowl's Avatar
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    i guess 'lesson-learned'
    if you wanted to 'sell' the fabric you should have already decided what you wanted for it before you ever offered it to her; offering it at this price...
    since you let her just take it you may never hear from her again, but on the other hand she may surprise you and something may mysteriously show up. or she may months down the road need something else and contact you...at that point you could 'gently' remind her that you helped her once and she did not hold up her end so you either can not help her this time, or you can but have to be paid at the time of purchase.
    you know,even if she had gone to a yard sale or thrift shop she would have been expected to pay before going out the door; letting her just have it seems like...you let her have it, without really expecting anything in return.

  4. #4
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    My first thought was-maybe she lost your phone number. So yes, I would call her and ask her how much of it she used and tell her a price. I think I would meet her some place to get the money-maybe her place(just so you know). If you don't get anywhere then just give up as a lessoned learned. Good Luck

  5. #5
    Super Member janRN's Avatar
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    What a nice neighbor you are! I think I would just call her and in a friendly manner ask how's she doing with the quilt she was making; was she able to use any of the fabric that you gave her and if so how much of it. Then I'd ask (in a friendly manner) if she still had your address so she could send payment.
    (I have to keep saying "in a friendly manner" because in reality, I'd be a little ticked off myself! I have to keep my evil twin Skippy from coming out LOL).
    Maybe she was just busy with the wedding and the quilt and forgot. Or maybe she's a user. Either way, you are a great person. I've had that happen here on QB: someone asked for blocks or patches cause they needed help. I sent stuff and never heard from them again or saw a completed project. I almost stopped donating. Don't stop helping fellow quilters--even if only 1 out of 10 is truly in need it's worth it. And YOU can sleep at night.

  6. #6
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    I would call her and ask her if the fabric was useful to her.Maybe it will trigger her consience,and this would give you an opening to give her a price if you wish to. I truly cannot believe some people, especially after you were so kind to her,though maybe there is a reason for her behaviour. At least if you call you may have peace of mind whatever the outcome.

  7. #7

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    Give her the benefit of the doubt and call her and ask her how her quilt is coming and you wondered if the material you gave her worked out. Don't mention money and see if she does if she doesn't let it go but don't be real friendly when you say good-bye and chalk it up to finding out about her before she became a friend and really used you.

  8. #8
    Senior Member GrammaNancy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nancy S.
    My first thought was-maybe she lost your phone number. So yes, I would call her and ask her how much of it she used and tell her a price. I think I would meet her some place to get the money-maybe her place(just so you know). If you don't get anywhere then just give up as a lessoned learned. Good Luck
    This would be my thought too.

  9. #9
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
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    I think I'd call her and very nicely ask if she's had time to look at it and decide which piece she wanted and set up a time to meet with her. With an upcoming wedding she's probably just forgotten.

    If she then blows you off I'd say "Live and learn" cut your losses and stay away from her. I had to do that with a friend of mine and it's been funny how my rulers, rotary cutters, fabric and books have decided to stay home. With as much as I gave her you wouldn't have thought she'd steal on top of it. Oh well.

  10. #10
    Super Member Annaquilts's Avatar
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    I think it might not be on purpose. She probably just got busy and forgot. I would leave it if I was OK with loosing the fabric/ money but then I hate confronting. If not I would ask for the pieces back that she did not use and and also ask her to pay for what she did decide on to use. Just call her and kindly remind her.

    I do agree that how it all went probably contributed to her taking it without paying for it. I tend to end up with situations because I am not clear or let people walk off with stuff.

  11. #11
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    I also think she may have just forgotten, with a wedding coming up, a quilt to be made, etc.
    I'd give her a call though. She needs to give you some money.

  12. #12
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    My thoughts are also that even if she thought it was a gift from you (due to a misunderstanding) she still should have been in contact with you. Maybe as the others have said the wedding has taken a lot of her time. Life has a habit of catching up with us.

  13. #13
    Super Member sahm4605's Avatar
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    I would just give her a call and ask how the quit is going. I also wouldn't say anything about the money just in case she did innocently forget about calling you or even lost your number on accident. it happens. If the money is not a big deal then I would let it lay. ANd who know she just might surprise you with saying that she had forgotten and was wanting to get it to you. hope this will give you piece of mind. HUGS!!!

  14. #14
    Super Member KathyAire's Avatar
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    I would just forget. She knows the fabric was yours and she also knows what ya'll talked about. Unless you really need the money for the fabric, just consider it a blessing that you were able to help her out.

  15. #15
    Super Member justwannaquilt's Avatar
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    There is a bunch of optimistic people on this board! When it comes to fellow human beings and their actions I am very pessimistic. I say call her and ask her what the issue is! Maybe she did lose your number, but maybe she also wanted something for nothing!

    I too hate when people say one thing and do another. Maybe call her and ask her if she has any plaid flannel, because your making a quilt and could use some! lol See I am mean.

  16. #16
    Super Member mamaw's Avatar
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    I would call her. She needs to be made accountable for her actions.

  17. #17
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    You said that she would call after she had gotten home and measured how much she needed and discuss price..So she knew it wasn't free.

    I think she has probably just forgotten .
    You could ring and say something like "I was just looking for my plaid material and realized that you had taken it home did you use it all etc

    I don't like confrontation either but then I would feel terrible if it was me and I had forgotten to ring you.

  18. #18
    Super Member scowlkat's Avatar
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    I agree that she may have just gotten busy or lost your phone number. I would at least call and ask how preparation for the wedding is going and if she has finished the quilt. You might say that you would like to have any of the material she didn't use back and that you are ready to establish the price for what she did use. You didn't get the fabric for free, did you?

  19. #19
    Super Member Annaquilts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justwannaquilt
    There is a bunch of optimistic people on this board! When it comes to fellow human beings and their actions I am very pessimistic. I say call her and ask her what the issue is! Maybe she did lose your number, but maybe she also wanted something for nothing!

    I too hate when people say one thing and do another. Maybe call her and ask her if she has any plaid flannel, because your making a quilt and could use some! lol See I am mean.
    I think overal quilters are a bunch of very generous and nice people. I do think you are probably more realistic and that sometimes some of us end up being taken advantage of because we are nice. Thank you for bringing a different perspective.

  20. #20
    Super Member lauriejo's Avatar
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    I think I would call. Getting ready for a wedding can be chaotic. She may have forgotten, she may have lost your phone number, could be lots of things. I would mention she said she would call so you could set a price, but I probably wouldn't push it if she claimed she thought it was a gift. Then I would just chalk it up to lesson learned.

  21. #21
    Moderator kathy's Avatar
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    well she may have lost the number but surely she knows where you still live! I would call and at least ask for what she didn't use back.

  22. #22
    Super Member calla's Avatar
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    Maybe something has come up with her or her family, people intend to do things, follow through but life gets busy. I have met the nicest people quilting and sewing.........calla

  23. #23
    Senior Member Born2Sew's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone for your opinions. It bothers me more because my hubby said on the day she took it, that I'd never get paid for it. She attends the same church as my mom as is an active participant there, so it bothers my mom that she did this. Personally, I was glad to be able to help out someone in need. Red plain flannel isn't exactly something one can find readily locally, I knew I had some, she said she needed some, so guess I could have just kept my mouth shut, or maybe asked her how much would she be prepared to pay for flannel... Lesson learned.

    I think I will call and check on her progress and see how things are going. If she brings it up, that's great, if not, well I will let it go. I feel that people have been good to me and it's not like I can't live without this flannel. If she can live with it, so can I.

  24. #24
    Super Member Grama Lehr's Avatar
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    Good response..........

  25. #25
    Senior Member DeniseP's Avatar
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    Maybe she is really embarassed that she didn't call you back or just plain forgot. I would call her and ask how the wedding went (or some other ice breaker) and ask how much of the fabric she used, if she plans on giving back any of it and how much she will pay you for what she used. That is not a nice thing to do to someone who helped you out when you needed fabric! She needs to "man up" and pay you! Put your big girl pants on and tell her!!

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