What would you do?
12-10-2011, 10:38 PM
#131
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: northeast NE
Posts: 1,072
I vote to give it to him anyway. Honesty is the best policy. You had it completed for him before he advised you of the money issue. And I'll bet he has something up his sleeve for you anyway. Let us know if I am correct.
12-10-2011, 11:53 PM
#132
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Nevada
Posts: 1,103
Give him the quilt. Christmas is not about presents, who gets what, have we given each other an "equal" value in gifts? I celebrate the birth of Christ, and that is my main reason for celebrating Christmas. When my husband asks me what I want for Christmas, I tell him: "Make me a memory." It can be as simple as a dinner he cooks, a rented movie, a cozy evening to ourselves with the phone off the hook --- he's so busy, we have few of those, so we cherish them. Or it can be a dressed up evening out to our favorite restaurant. Or we could spend the day at the new, free art show coming to town (that he knows I'll love), and include a lovely lunch. It doesn't have to be a lot, and perhaps that needs to be conveyed as well. What can he do to make you happy, give you a nice day, a nice memory? Things will go by the wayside, except for quilts which last forever! But memories are special because they are yours forever, to relive and savor. I'll take a memory any day over a new perfume, or some other item I likely don't need (since my husband doesn't quilt!) Just go for the love and spirit of Christmas, never mind keeping score on presents, and do what your heart tells you to do. If you love your husband, give him the quilt. He'll love you for it, I know.
I've said my piece. I hope you have a lovely Christmas!
I've said my piece. I hope you have a lovely Christmas!
12-11-2011, 10:31 AM
#135
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: NJ
Posts: 2,521
I think that you should go ahead and give it to him at Christmas as it was intended. You aren't giving the quilt because you expect something back, you are giving it because you love him. You can tell him that you already had it done prior to his announcement. The gift giving is for the giver as much as the receiver sometimes. My MIL tried this last year at Christmas time. She made the announcement 1 week before Christmas. Now, she knows that nobody waits until the week before Christmas to buy or make gifts. And it wasn't a cost thing, it was a Gloria thing! (you gotta know her to appreciate her. . . Love you mom!) She received her gifts on Christmas just like everybody else and was thankful for everything she got. We have learned to only give her practical gifts that she will use ex: quilt, jacket, gift card to a bookstore. She will give everything else away because she doesn't want it to clutter up her apartment.
12-11-2011, 02:55 PM
#136
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Colfax, LA
Posts: 346
I don't know your situation, but I know mine. The guy came to give an estimate for cutting down some diseased very tall pines around our house (one which would eventually fall on the house!) a few days ago--$2500. My husband, who gets tighter with money every year (now in his 70's), announced afterward we couldn't afford gifts this year for each other and not much for kids and grandkids. I'm the one who keeps up with the money--pays bills, balances accounts, keeps up with investiments. I cut him short on that deal and said we'd do the same for Christmas as we've always done. He hasn't mentioned it since.
However, I know in today's economy many are having to cut corners. I like the suggestion others have made that you give gifts that don't cost money, just time and effort. A gift doesn't have to be something purchased from a store.
However, I know in today's economy many are having to cut corners. I like the suggestion others have made that you give gifts that don't cost money, just time and effort. A gift doesn't have to be something purchased from a store.
12-12-2011, 09:18 AM
#137
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Manchester, NH
Posts: 701
Thank you for all of your opinions! Given it to both of us is not an option. It is a theme that he enjoys and I have nothing to do with. I spoke with him and told him that I have made him something for Christmas and I don't want anything in return. He is not being lazy about shopping, we truly can't afford it this year. I am finishing my Associates degree in education and I had to quit my job to focus more on school. Thank you again for your support and opinion. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year!!
12-12-2011, 11:42 AM
#139
Super Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Emmitsburg, MD
Posts: 1,599
Giving it to him now takes it out of "Christmas" but gives him a chance to reciprocate if he wants.
However, I would also give him a list of all the gifts he's given to you this past year, the ones that (like the quilt) were paid for in time and love. For instance if he fixed the fence, or brought you soup when you were sick, or often reaches into tall cabinets for you, those are the things that spell romance to me. Give the list to him with the quilt, so he understands those gifts to you were appreciated.
My husband and I don't exchange gifts on holidays like Christmas, but we try to give of ourselves everyday.
However, I would also give him a list of all the gifts he's given to you this past year, the ones that (like the quilt) were paid for in time and love. For instance if he fixed the fence, or brought you soup when you were sick, or often reaches into tall cabinets for you, those are the things that spell romance to me. Give the list to him with the quilt, so he understands those gifts to you were appreciated.
My husband and I don't exchange gifts on holidays like Christmas, but we try to give of ourselves everyday.
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