need advise regarding my MIL
#51
Originally Posted by TonnieLoree
Don't cut that gorgeous fabric! Add some borders to make it the size you want. 8-) It is beautiful as is. I would even tie it as opposed to quilting it. You could add an Attic Windows to it, leaving off the window sashing from of the top and left hand side. Use several strips of very dark and different colored fabrics on the right. Use the very lightest of those previous colors for the bottom. Make use of the back side of the darker fabrics for the bottom strips.
Frame the whole thing in one solid color (black is screaming to me right now). 8-)
Frame the whole thing in one solid color (black is screaming to me right now). 8-)
#52
since you will be making it, make what is comfortable for you to do. let the mil pick out the fabric but buy what the pattern says in case you need extra for a miscut or something. do what is comfortable for you or you will feel bad about it.
#54
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Idaho
Posts: 11,375
I am really happy that you have worked this out. It always makes me very sad when MIL's decide they do not want to get along with their DIL's. My MIL was absolutely a fantastic lady and I loved her so very much. I wish all DIL's could have that kind of relationship. My Mom, Dad, MIL, and all of my Grandparents are gone now, but they were definitely loved.
#55
When we had to place my MIL in a nursing home due to dementia, the director of the home saw the nice, quilted lap quilt that I had made her and strongly suggested that it not be left in the nursing home, as it would likely disappear. I would make Grandma a simple bright lap quilt out of scrap squares and flannel back and would tie it (no elaborate quilting). One of the local churches donated some of those to the home and the one given to my MIL stayed around for a few weeks then just wasn't there one day. But while it was there, my MIL loved the bright colors made of scraps of polyester. Maybe a more appreciated and comforting gift would be a memory quilt for you MIL out of fabrics from Grandma's clothes. It is really hard to see your parent go into a nursing home.
#56
From your information, I think she is lonely. Including her in your purchase of the material may help her feel better about herself. Would she be capable of being included in the making of the quilt? It would give her company at a specific time and take some of the strain from you if you really don't want to make this quilt and perhaps the other projects could stay on hold for a short time?
#57
After you have completed the quilt (with an ID panel on the back in a corner) take a photo of the entire front and back of the quilt and put the photos in a frame for your MIL. You, of course, keep a copy for yourself. This way there is photo evidence if it does get legs and walk off. Also take a photo of the quilt with the recipient in the nursing home holding it or on her lap for more proof of its location.
Just a few thoughts to help keep your work where it was intended to be -- in her room.
Just a few thoughts to help keep your work where it was intended to be -- in her room.
#58
I would use the amount of fabric called for. I would also ask MIL to go with you to pick out the fabrics. Let her be involved as much as possible. If there is any left over fabric,maybe you can use it and it'll always be there to remind you of the grandmother's smile when your MIL and you present it to her.
#59
I am so sorry that you are put in this situation. Sounds like you are living a difficult choice. Change your mind set. Change the pattern, the colors and the size of the finished piece. MIL may want the quilt for self instead of her mom. I agree with make a lap quilt or bib or a wheel chair or walker bag. A quilt in a nursing home needs to be small and light. The weight is painful and tends to crush the patient limiting movement. Fleece is more appropriate due to the weight and ease in washing,etc. Also it is easy to replace. :thumbup:
#60
Originally Posted by mimom
my MIL's mother has been put in a nursing home, so doesn't remember who I am or where she is most of the time. MIL as asked me to make a quilt for Grandma. I am quite certain she does not plan on paying me anything above the cost for this. I have a pattern picked out and the fabric requirements call for more fabric than what you need. Would it be awful of me to buy (her with me) the fabric that the pattern calls for or should I use the ones I have come up with. We are talking more than an extra yard of fabric. I have many projects planned that will be put aside so I can make Grandmas quilt right away.
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blzzrdqueen
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05-06-2009 09:50 AM