need advise regarding my MIL
#1
my MIL's mother has been put in a nursing home, so doesn't remember who I am or where she is most of the time. MIL as asked me to make a quilt for Grandma. I am quite certain she does not plan on paying me anything above the cost for this. I have a pattern picked out and the fabric requirements call for more fabric than what you need. Would it be awful of me to buy (her with me) the fabric that the pattern calls for or should I use the ones I have come up with. We are talking more than an extra yard of fabric. I have many projects planned that will be put aside so I can make Grandmas quilt right away.
#7
This is very generous and thoughtful of you to make this quilt for your Husbands Grandmother in the nursing home, but If she doesn't remember you, how will she remember You made the quilt for her? ( that may not be as important.) Also Please be sure to put her name on it in bold letters on the back when you label it. I made my own grandmother a beautiful quilt and some one stole it from her room. To this day I think it was one of the staff people who worked there. Also make sure you or your MIL take it home to be washed, do not let the nursing home take it to their laundry service. Good Luck to you on this wonderful gift for her.
#8
I dont have that big of a stash, I buy fabric mostly for the project. MIL will pay for the new fabric, the question is do I buy what the pattern calls for which is more than a yard extra or do I just buy what is needed and no more. Kinda like the extra fabric will be for my time. You should also know that this woman MIL is very needy and is coming to us (me and DH) for everyting. Like having DH come over and change a light bulb over the stove no ladder needed. We live 25 miles away. She even has called us to come take the groceries out of her trunk cause she was too wore out from shopping. I guess I'm kinda venting on you good people. sorry
#9
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,375
I disagree. Because...
Folks that go into a nursing home generally have a shortened life expectancy. Yes, they are having a hard time taking care of themselves outside of the nursing home, but folks deteriorate even in the NICEST nursing homes because they are taken care of, rather than having something to be responsible for.
Sad to say it, whether it's a year or 10 years...your MIL's mother is dying. We're all dying in a sense, but MIL's mother is moving toward that.
MIL asked you to make a quilt for her mother. It's a way of taking care of her elders before they pass on. From a spiritual/respect kinda place...ask your Mother in Law if she would like to choose the fabrics for her mother's quilt. Tell her you can help since you have an eye for color. I bet she will at the very least appreciate the offer.
Folks that go into a nursing home generally have a shortened life expectancy. Yes, they are having a hard time taking care of themselves outside of the nursing home, but folks deteriorate even in the NICEST nursing homes because they are taken care of, rather than having something to be responsible for.
Sad to say it, whether it's a year or 10 years...your MIL's mother is dying. We're all dying in a sense, but MIL's mother is moving toward that.
MIL asked you to make a quilt for her mother. It's a way of taking care of her elders before they pass on. From a spiritual/respect kinda place...ask your Mother in Law if she would like to choose the fabrics for her mother's quilt. Tell her you can help since you have an eye for color. I bet she will at the very least appreciate the offer.
#10
Super Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,375
Originally Posted by mimom
I dont have that big of a stash, I buy fabric mostly for the project. MIL will pay for the new fabric, the question is do I buy what the pattern calls for which is more than a yard extra or do I just buy what is needed and no more. Kinda like the extra fabric will be for my time. You should also know that this woman MIL is very needy and is coming to us (me and DH) for everyting. Like having DH come over and change a light bulb over the stove no ladder needed. We live 25 miles away. She even has called us to come take the groceries out of her trunk cause she was too wore out from shopping. I guess I'm kinda venting on you good people. sorry
Buy the fabric according to the directions. The "scraps" are yours to keep. Still ask MIL her opinion on the colors.
And...she's lonely. It's not that she needs help, she needs attention. Which is a whole 'nother topic. ;)
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blzzrdqueen
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05-06-2009 09:50 AM