dc989

I have been in the same guild for almost 20 years now. There were about 30 members then and close to 100 now but there are rarely more than 40 in attendance at meetings. Why? The same people do the same things and don't really care that the silent majority are not interested. Then those same few complain they get no help. God forbid if you try to suggest new ideas. New people are "warmly" welcomed but never well integrated unless they have friend in the guild already. I've taken offices, volunteered and privately tried to make people welcome. I have decided to just attend if I'm available and interested and take what I chose from the group. This is not my usual style because I take memberships seriously and try to participate 100%. I did start a small group in my home, but we all got too busy and it folded.

Friday1961

This is typical in-group, out-group behavior and it's been going on, at least, since middle school. Cliques tend to form everywhere and organizations have to put something in place to prevent it....if they want to prevent it. Jan's mentor guild sounds like one that saw the problem and addressed it successfully; other groups apparently are satisfied with their status quo, or their leadership takes no action. I've never even visited the guild in my town, where I know some of the members, simply because I don't need more of this kind of behavior...and truthfully, don't seem to need a guild to enjoy my hobby. But, recognizing that in myself, I don't say it's all that admirable, and I understand that others would love to be part of a group. Like Winia, I suggest other, smaller groups -- church, quilt shops, volunteer groups, neighbors, etc. But those are not always easy to find, either, I know. My sympathies to those who want to meet and associate with other quilters and can't find any to welcome them!

Mariah

Our guild has an introduction of new members when they first visit, then when they join. There is also the last Saturday of each month when we have "Sew Day." I try to go, but make myself have everything done around here before I go. So, I don't go very often, otherwise it wouldn't ever get done!
There are also new member classes where the senior members help with then new members on their projects. On "Show and Tell," the new members introduce themselves so we haven't forgotten who the are.
It is hard to get to know everyone. Everyone has to make an effort to introduce themselvesa at the break, before the meeting, ect.
Mariah

KyKaren1949

When I first began quilting, I joined a large quilt guild (175 members) several years ago and had the same experience several others mentioned. It was very cliquish. Several of the members were downright rude to new members, making us feel like we were so beneath them, it wasn't worth their time to even acknowledge our existence. Unfortunately, there were even a few, who sat in the back, that ridiculed the efforts of others when we held show and tell. Sadly, many in this guild were former extension agents and retired home economics teachers. Then, there were others who were extremely friendly and helpful and eventually became good friends. I got to know people best by attending the workshops that were held once a month. By working on a project with others around me, I learned names and got to know the ones who were friendly and helpful to this beginner. Because of the rude treatment by a few, I finally quit that group and found another smaller group (50 members) in a rural community that is much more welcoming and friendlier. I have never felt the arrogance in the smaller group that I did in the large group and am much more comfortable. It does seem that it is up to us as new people to try to reach out to others and establish relationships. I love what Jan in Va's group does to help newbies. I sure needed that help back in the beginning!

DanaNVa

Our chapter of the guild holds at least two "sew-ins" every month at a local library, one on Friday and one on Saturday. Members are encouraged to show up anytime during the 6-hour time period and stay as long as they desire. Newbies are encouraged to go to some of these sew-ins to meet other members. Plus, everyone has to wear a nametag every time they participate. It makes for a welcoming situation for newbies.

mulberryellie

I joined my town's quilting group in 1998. A small group of 20 who had been established about 10 years by the time i joined. I was happy to join in and be useful and so became club secretary after 3 months.......think I was the only one with a computer back then !

However, I found thst despite most members being very nice the original founders were elitist, horrificly snobbish and downright vicious if anyone suggested any change whatsoever inc new ideas for new members etc.

I lasted 4 years before I decided the internet would be a better quilting group.

I did go back a few years ago for one evening but nothing had changed.

I have visited other town's groups and they have been lovely and welcoming!

Cogito

wow, wow! That is awesome Jan!. I have attempted to join several over the years and had many of the same issues as described above. A few years ago before I retired AND after being away from quilting for years because of my career I joined a large urban guild...one reason was because they had a "new member" class each month and I thought that would be a great way to meet new comers, etc. Well.....the first 4 meetings we were continually lectured about how important it was to give back to the guild by volunteering for this or that....heck! I barely had time to think about doing anything for myself! So after the 4th meeting I quit going and just chalked up the $25 as a donation.
That was a few years ago. Now I am retired and have more time and joined a small guild and love every minute of it!

I think the mentor model is fabulous!

charlottemarie

I was a member of the Corpus Christi guild and it was the best time of my life. I don't know what people you were talking about, but I never felt left out or unhappy there. I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience, but I always was doing things with them all and I loved it. I just walked in with the attitude that I was going to become a part of this guild and I wouldn't let things get me down. I wound up with more that I ever could have asked for and it has spoiled me for other guilds.

Zinda

I'd love to join Jan in VA quilt guild. Too bad I live in Florida (winters) and Wisconsin (summers).

quiltingshorttimer

So sorry to hear that grown ups sometimes act like middle schoolers! As a recently retired MS counselor, I have to say that sometimes "mean girls" come in all ages, and the best way to deal with them is to avoid them. But that being said, I also advise that if your guild has sew days, classes, community service activities--get involved and don't wait for a personal invite--the announcement in the meetings & newsletters is the invite for all--no one gets a personal invite. Sure it's hard to show up by yourself the first couple of times--but after that I'm guessing you won't feel so new. Also--volunteer to serve on committees--in the Guild I belong to, we are always asking for help, and while it's true that long time members are often the ones asked to do the job, it' usually because that person's availability is known already.

And it's wise to enforce the wearing of name tags unless the group is under 20!