False Praise

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04-27-2011, 07:06 AM

#181

Slow2Sew

Super Member

Join Date: Jan 2010

Location: Arkansas

Posts: 1,124

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homemother

When I look at a project I don't particularly care for, I read the first couple pages of comments. Most of the time, these kind remarks are about something I didn't notice. I am learning from their praise how to look and examine a quilt. If I was told the truth about my first sewing project, I probably would have quit. I am so glad that someone out there found something positive to say! So, here's to all those wonderful ladies and gents who take the time to say something special and at the same time teach me kindness and observation!

Well said! Skills will improve over time with practice. No need to discourage newbies.

04-27-2011, 07:14 AM

#182

WI Rose

Junior Member

Join Date: Aug 2010

Location: Wisconsin

Posts: 210

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claddaughquilting

I like the comments I am reading on this thread. When people take the time to post pictures, it is because they are excited! I, personally, can only encourage that. Quilting is not just about the end result, it is a process, a hobby, a passion, a kindness to be shared. Quilters are by nature generous, kind, loving, thoughtful, encouraging people. A kind word never hurt anyone....

I agree with this. It is a process that is best shared with others all along the way.

04-27-2011, 07:17 AM

#183

Nanjun

Super Member

Join Date: Feb 2010

Location: Louisiana

Posts: 2,157

Quote:

Originally Posted by hobo2000

If I can't find something to compliment, I don't say anything.

ditto

04-27-2011, 07:30 AM

#184

bamamama

Super Member

Join Date: Jan 2011

Location: Madison, AL

Posts: 1,998

My best friend recently showed me a quilt that I had made for her when she had her first baby 38 years ago. OMG!!!! I can't belive I even sent it to her. That's a reminder to me about people making their first quilts, how much work goes into even the most poorly put together quilts. If I had given up then I wouldn't be able to do what I do now. Who are we to critize? Any effort should be praised!

04-27-2011, 09:34 AM

#185

Ragann63

Senior Member

Join Date: Aug 2009

Location: Northern Kentucky

Posts: 521

Color choices don't bother me because everyone has different taste, but I have to admit I have typed, then deleted, many comments about quality!

My daughter's mother-in-law "tried" quilting. She took one class, made one very poorly put together quilt and then announced that would be the only made she made because there wasn't any challenge in it...I unfriended her!!

I want constructive criticism as I want all of my projects to be the best they can...maybe we can come up with a "code" that says "Yes, I want the truth!" or "No, just make me feel good!"

04-27-2011, 09:45 AM

#186

CircleSquare

Senior Member

Join Date: Sep 2010

Location: northeast Georgia

Posts: 662

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ragann63

My daughter's mother-in-law "tried" quilting. She took one class, made one very poorly put together quilt and then announced that would be the only quilt she made because there wasn't any challenge in it...

Some people are just born to quilt and some aren't! :)
I love that we all are enthusiastic about our quilting and want to share our passion, and to help anyone who wants to learn. I have been quilting over 40 years and I still learn things from all your posts. It is certainly true, as Claddaughquilting said, that "quilting is not just about the end result, but is a process. . ." It is the process that keeps us passionate about it.

04-27-2011, 09:47 AM

#187

GrannieAnnie

Super Member

Join Date: Aug 2010

Location: S. W. Indiana

Posts: 7,484

Quote:

Originally Posted by JanieW

I read the quilt police thread and some of the comments made me think about the issue of giving false praise.

When someone has made a quilt that is poorly put together or there isn't enough contrast with colour choices, or it just plain doesn't look right, are we being fair by complimenting them?

I don't believe in embarrassing a person by pointing out mistakes or telling them that they have to do it the "right" way. I don't believe in telling someone their work is lovely when it isn't. Being positive and encouraging is essential, but damning with faint praise is harmful.

Where is the line between trying to help someone improve their skills and being the dreaded hated quilt police?

One of two very simple solutions------
find one good thing to compliment
or
just refrain from making any comment.

04-27-2011, 11:22 AM

#188

sgardner

Senior Member

Join Date: May 2010

Location: North Ogden, Utah

Posts: 545

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ragann63

I want constructive criticism as I want all of my projects to be the best they can...maybe we can come up with a "code" that says "Yes, I want the truth!" or "No, just make me feel good!"

Really, if you are open for constructive criticism, just say so when you post the project.

Otherwise, it's wise to assume that the person isn't posting their work with that intent in mind, but rather for the moral support to help them celebrate finishing.

It always helps if people who are looking for more help say so. I appreciate the posts that say something like "I'm not sure about my color choices" or "I know my piecing isn't as accurate as it could be", and to me, that person is saying outright that they are willing to hear, and to learn from, the feedback that they will get.

Also, if you are new at something and really just want praise, a tag line such as "first project of this type" or "new quilter" usually helps. Course, there are those obvious people who are fishing- such as those who post that this is their first log cabin and it's clearly a work of art and not their first rodeo, and clearly those people are fishing for pats on the back, which I'm not saying that they don't deserve. I'm the type that has to be prodded to show off my work, and I guess that's a fault I have rather than of being too show-offy.