sharon b

Gwyn, you have received some wonderful advice . Some may work better for you than others . My brother has been gone almost 3 years (from cancer) and it still hurts . I have found that by looking into the sky and talking to him helps. I find a big fluffy cloud and imagine him all comfortable and we talk.

Do what works for you, there is no right or wrong. Please put off any major decisions for a bit until you feel your feet are more steady. There is no reason to rush anything. And don't let anyone pressure/rush you into anything you are not comfortable with

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}

ReRe

Gwen, I could spout all sorts of advice and such but it's all already been said. All I can do is tell you exactly how I ded it when I was in your situation 21 years ago. My infant daughter died at 3 month, 10 days, some odd hours. She was born with a genetic disorder, had a heart attack and died. I was so devasted you couldn't imagine. I can only imagine how hard it is to bury your life's partner. It is much much worse to bury your own child. People ask me now how I survived something like that and this is what I tell them: I start out only making it through 1 second at a time. I go that way until I can make it through a minute at a time. I then grandually increase that till I can make it through an hour at a time. Before I know it whold days have passed and I haven't cried oover her all day. That is the way you have to do it. It has now been since 1989 that she died and I miss her every single day of my life

KiwiQuilter

Gwyn - I know of your pain, and my heart really does break for you. Many other lovely ladies have given their pearls of wisdom.

To you I would like to ofter a big hug - and a box of tissues for us to share.

Teacup

My heart aches for you. Take one day at a time, give yourself some grace -- there is no one "right" way to handle this, so get up each day and do the best you can. Keep reaching out to others. You're in my prayers.

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.” -- Mary Anne Radmacher

janRN

I am so sorry for your loss-I have tears in my eyes as I type this. Please, please take care of you! You have to keep putting one foot in front of the other to make it through one minute then one hour then one day at a time. Know your friends are here to support you and listen to you. Lots of prayers going out to you and your family at this sad, sad time.

sewcrafty

Lots of big {{{{HUGS}}}} So sorry! The only thing I can say is thats its going to take time. Things don't happen over night!! Most importantly is to make sure you take care of yourself!!! Any time you need to vent, call on us (your extended) and we'll always give you lots of {{HUGS}}!

ckcowl

oh Gwen, our hearts are with you! back in 1986 i lost a daughter...i did not think i would ever get over it...
and i believe you never do really (get over it) you simply 'live-on'...
and it does get easier,
with time.
as long as the memories can still make you smile, give your heart a little tug but it be a warm loving tug...
one thing that helped me in the beginning was journaling...everyday...for a long time i started the day (after the other kids left for school) i would write a 'letter to Kelly'...(as if she were away at camp) i would share our previous day, what the kids had done, what i had done, how we were feeling..what ever...i kept the journaling going for a couple years. the two older kids and myself also put together what we call our treasure boxes...we each have our own special box with the treasures that meant the most to each of us...my oldest daughter put in a favorite blanket, hat, toys and pictures...we each picked out a few things...and all these years later our treasure boxes live on a closet shelf, and once in a while i will take mine down and spend a little time (wandering) through the moments.......
dive into an activity you really enjoy (quilt something) and a couple hours will pass that were (easier)...as time goes by it will get easier...
remember there are alot of us here who care, feel for you and will happily be a BIG SHOULDER when ever you need one
don't isolate yourself, keep in touch with everyone you did before...

Lisa_wanna_b_quilter

As has been said before, there is no formula for proper grief. You will get through this because you have to get through this. Your boys have to have a parent so you will get up every day and be that parent.

stitchinwitch

It is so nice you started this thread. There are alot of women that will benefit from this topic. The part about eating? I know EXACTLY what you mean! My dh is in the hospital, when I was driving home, I stopped and got a foot long and ate ALL of it - then I walked in the house and fixed a milkshake, ate a candy bar, made some nachos - and did NOT feel in the least full - 'just needed the "comfort" of eating. Good luck - we will be thinking/praying for your "recovery"

marsye

By letting us know how you feel and talking about it you have already begin moving on. Just hang in there and keep quilting. :thumbup: