Advice please ...?
05-06-2011, 03:21 AM
#51
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: WV
Posts: 819
The spark of creativity is different from person to person. Some sew, others make pottery, some garden, some have children, with a lot of in between crafts and interests. Explore her strong points, be it cooking or computers. Encourage what she can do and enjoys. When she plants a "seed" in her home, watch her tend it, and praise her efforts.
From time to time, ask her opinion of color selection or patterns for your projects. Show her that you value her opinion, rather than try to change her. She is trying to be her own person. Let her grow at her own speed.
Perhaps I might admit to her, were she my DIL, that I was lonely, and wanted a sewing buddy, then ask if she had any friends who wanted to learn sewing, or their mothers. Offer to teach them. Someone just might take you up on it. When she hears back through the grape vine how cool you are, and how much fun they are having with their new hobby, she may begin to creep into your "classes". It may be years. For now, give her her space.
From time to time, ask her opinion of color selection or patterns for your projects. Show her that you value her opinion, rather than try to change her. She is trying to be her own person. Let her grow at her own speed.
Perhaps I might admit to her, were she my DIL, that I was lonely, and wanted a sewing buddy, then ask if she had any friends who wanted to learn sewing, or their mothers. Offer to teach them. Someone just might take you up on it. When she hears back through the grape vine how cool you are, and how much fun they are having with their new hobby, she may begin to creep into your "classes". It may be years. For now, give her her space.
05-06-2011, 03:36 AM
#52
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 946
I have 3 daughters and one in law......never push, don't hint. Be busy with your own in front of her and have a nice chat with her, do as if you don't know which colors or pattern to use and ask her suggestions. Sort of slowly pull her in to your interest. Even send her ALONE to the shop to get you something even if you might be disappointed with what she comes with. Remember she is still in love and this is completely a strange thing to her.
05-06-2011, 04:05 AM
#55
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: NJ
Posts: 2,521
I have 3 sisters, 3 DILs and 8 DGDs and none want to sew let alone learn to quilt so I don't push it. 2 DILs turned down my offers to make them quilts for their homes. All Dgrands have at least two quilts that I've made them. They all seem very happy with them and use them all the time, guess I got to them early enough, LOL!
You never know what happens over time as recently one DIL asked me if I would make her a quilt for her bed, she's paying for all the materials. Last year one of my sisters asked me to teach her to quilt and one DGD got a sewing machine at her Bridal Shower so your future DIL might someday express an interest in quilting - you just have to hang on long enough. May in Jersey
You never know what happens over time as recently one DIL asked me if I would make her a quilt for her bed, she's paying for all the materials. Last year one of my sisters asked me to teach her to quilt and one DGD got a sewing machine at her Bridal Shower so your future DIL might someday express an interest in quilting - you just have to hang on long enough. May in Jersey
05-06-2011, 04:18 AM
#56
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: N.W. Florida
Posts: 866
Does she go to work every day? She might be pressed for time. If she has the time take a quilt class with her. Give her the class as a gift but take it with her. You can give her pointers along the way and get to know her better. Not everyone has the same level of desire to quilt. But it doesn't hurt to heighten the desire to cut stuff up and put it back together! :shock: :lol:
05-06-2011, 04:33 AM
#58
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 2,066
My DIL doesn't sew or anything close. Nor does she know how to boil an egg. But my son loves her and is happy. We love her for that. She is thrilled with what I make for her/them, and is very appreciative. Let it go...
05-06-2011, 04:43 AM
#59
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 601
I'm sorry you didn't like some of the answers you received, but we all need to consider how we present ourselves when using only the written word, and no facial expressions or vocal cues are available to help others understand our tone.
If you'll excuse me for writing so, parts of your original post indicated that you might need the "leave it alone; you're meddling" talk. And with this being mostly a large group of women (no offense), I'd be shocked if many didn't go there. The whole not "using her time wisely" thing, along with the description that it's you who wants her to quilt because it's in your best interest makes it sound to some that you may be meddling.
I'm not trying to stir the pot more; just explain why the thread turned as it did. Ever since I became a mother it has become apparent to me that women often consider it their obligation to comment where they think someone else is in the wrong. By asking for advice, even on a related topic, you open the floodgates. If you don't want such advice in future, I strongly suggest you keep your posts more brief, not more detailed. It's the editorializing that opens you up.
I hope you got the advice you want, and that it works out with your DIL.
If you'll excuse me for writing so, parts of your original post indicated that you might need the "leave it alone; you're meddling" talk. And with this being mostly a large group of women (no offense), I'd be shocked if many didn't go there. The whole not "using her time wisely" thing, along with the description that it's you who wants her to quilt because it's in your best interest makes it sound to some that you may be meddling.
I'm not trying to stir the pot more; just explain why the thread turned as it did. Ever since I became a mother it has become apparent to me that women often consider it their obligation to comment where they think someone else is in the wrong. By asking for advice, even on a related topic, you open the floodgates. If you don't want such advice in future, I strongly suggest you keep your posts more brief, not more detailed. It's the editorializing that opens you up.
I hope you got the advice you want, and that it works out with your DIL.
Originally Posted by calano1
I have pondered the following questions for almost a year now, and I still am not sure if I must or if I should leave it alone ...
My future DIL is the topic of discussion here ..
How do I get this young lady to take some interest in quilting / sewing /needlework???
She is truly a lovely young girl, but she has not learned to use her time wisely, or to make anything with her hands ...
She thinks a sewing machine is just for mending or fixing the odd seam ... :shock:
I have given her my old sewing machine and some fabric with which she made a lunch bag and an apron, so I think the interest might grow if I can just get the right project ....
So....here are my questions:
If I make up a kit with fabric and a pattern --- which patterns are interesting?
Shall I make it a "block of the month"-thing and give her a kit each month? Like a sampler?
Or must I keep to small projects that finishes fast so she will stay interested?
I would really like it if she takes an interest in quilting ... then I will have someone to leave all my sewing toys to!! hehehehe :) :lol: :wink:
But at the same time ...I don't want her to feel I am pushing her into something she doesn't want to do ...
I have read on QB how some of you got your GD's involved in quilting .... so I will wait for the wise women of the QB to speak ... please .... :) :)
My future DIL is the topic of discussion here ..
How do I get this young lady to take some interest in quilting / sewing /needlework???
She is truly a lovely young girl, but she has not learned to use her time wisely, or to make anything with her hands ...
She thinks a sewing machine is just for mending or fixing the odd seam ... :shock:
I have given her my old sewing machine and some fabric with which she made a lunch bag and an apron, so I think the interest might grow if I can just get the right project ....
So....here are my questions:
If I make up a kit with fabric and a pattern --- which patterns are interesting?
Shall I make it a "block of the month"-thing and give her a kit each month? Like a sampler?
Or must I keep to small projects that finishes fast so she will stay interested?
I would really like it if she takes an interest in quilting ... then I will have someone to leave all my sewing toys to!! hehehehe :) :lol: :wink:
But at the same time ...I don't want her to feel I am pushing her into something she doesn't want to do ...
I have read on QB how some of you got your GD's involved in quilting .... so I will wait for the wise women of the QB to speak ... please .... :) :)
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