Are you offended if someone doesn't display your gift?
05-29-2011, 05:02 AM
#111
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 751
Originally Posted by insgal62
If I were going to be totally honest here among my fellow quilting friends, I'd have to say yes, I get somewhat offended when I spend weeks to months agonizing over patterns, fabrics and hours of work to make someone a special quilt and they don't display it or use it. I made a beautiful quilt for my mom and step dad and every time I visit it is neatly folded in the corner while she has these ratty old throw blankets laid out over the sofa. That kind of irritates me. I have made quilts for my grandkids and my DIL has made it a point to tell me that she is not displaying them right now because they are selling their house and needed to de-clutter. But she had asked me to put rod pockets on them because she wanted to hang them up in their bedrooms when they find a new house. So I try not to get upset about it, but I want my work to be valued too. But once I give it away, I guess you have to just let it go. If they are not loved by the person I gave it to, at least they are loved by me!! That's all that matters.
05-29-2011, 05:05 AM
#112
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,457
It's very hard to give a gift if you don't know ones likes and dislikes - and so I try to feel them out without them knowing it! My girlfriend's daughter is getting married, so out of the blue I asked my girlfriend, what were her daughter's favorite colors and if she like flowers, wildlife, or was an outdoor addict, etc.... Well, I got caught in my own questioning - my girlfriend said "Oh that is so nice of you to think of .....(name)............ with a quilt!" Oops! I had planned on giving her a quilt - but in wording it that way - if I had not had time to get one done - I'd have sort of been saddled into making one wouldn't I? :D
But, this gal being who she is, and coming from the family she does, she'd display and love any quilt given to her, but I just wanted it to "fit into" her decor in her new home!
But, yes, you do wonder if you give something and not only do you never see it displayed, what's worse, not ever a mention they'd ever gotten it - you wonder if she gave it to goodwill, or burned it -or??????
But, this gal being who she is, and coming from the family she does, she'd display and love any quilt given to her, but I just wanted it to "fit into" her decor in her new home!
But, yes, you do wonder if you give something and not only do you never see it displayed, what's worse, not ever a mention they'd ever gotten it - you wonder if she gave it to goodwill, or burned it -or??????
05-29-2011, 06:23 AM
#113
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 601
Maybe she put it in the other room to keep it safe, knowing that not everyone will respect it as she does.
This is just one example of many, but I think that too often we fall into the trap of expecting others to respond the same way that we would to a situation, but people are all different. Just because someone responds differently doesn't necessarily mean that they are any less appreciative than we would be ourselves in the same situation.
This is just one example of many, but I think that too often we fall into the trap of expecting others to respond the same way that we would to a situation, but people are all different. Just because someone responds differently doesn't necessarily mean that they are any less appreciative than we would be ourselves in the same situation.
Originally Posted by karenpatrick
I just finished a graduation quilt for the daughter of a friend. It was made from antique blocks that she had found in her attic of the family home that were probably 100 years old. They were very fragile and I had to applique them to other fabric in order to use them. I spent 2 months on that quilt, working on it every day. The blocks were made from lots of different stripes and gingham checks and it was almost impossible to find coordinating fabric to use with them. I was very proud of the way it turned out. I was asked to make this quilt, I didn't volunteer. I was so disappointed at the daughter's reaction. But I kind of expected it as she is just 17. What is a quilt to her. But I hope someday she will appreciate all the work that went into it. But I doubt it. As soon as people started to arrive for the after-party, she put it in the living room where no one could even see it. I learned my lesson. I will never again make a quilt because someone asks me to. I will make them because I want to and if someone likes them I MIGHT give them away. And I will make them for gifts because I want - no other reason.
05-29-2011, 09:47 AM
#114
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by akrogirl
Originally Posted by Yankee
I once made a quilt as a wedding present for someone who liked the same breed of dog as me. When her dog died she buried it with him. When I found out, I felt as though I had been slapped in the face.
05-29-2011, 11:53 AM
#115
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Maryville, TN
Posts: 2,008
I'm not offended so much as disappointed. I put a lot of thought and effort into my gifts - be they quilts or some other item - and I like to know the person got it and appreciates my effort if not necessarily my taste (altho I try as best I can to go by what I know of their taste). I think the very least I should get is a thank you note of some sort...but then that's the way my Momma raised me and how I raised my kids. I make things to be used, not tossed in the back of a closet or something!
05-29-2011, 01:53 PM
#117
Power Poster
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Idaho
Posts: 11,375
Sometimes things can be cherished and not displayed. I loved my Late MIL more than I can tell you. She was elerly and crocheted every day, all day long. She made me a crocheted bedspread. I will admit to you that it is in my closet. I absolutely love it, but it is white and it is extremely heavy. Then my dog would rub herself against the bed, I guess she itched. Can you imagine what that would do to a white crocheted bedspread???
05-30-2011, 02:03 PM
#118
Super Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: North Fork Ca
Posts: 8,234
Whenever I feel that way, all I have to do is make some little something for my Dad, he thinks I am the most talented quilter there ever was, and always rebuilds my ego so I can keep going. I love my Dad
05-30-2011, 08:50 PM
#120
Junior Member
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 211
:? ... Oh boy.. that is horrible!! How rude can one be??? I would never give them anything else.. ever!!! I would've cried...
I have given quilts also.. some really appreciate them.. others just let them lay around... oh well.. had the best of intentions..
I too would like a thank you for all the hard work.. and love that went into them..
I have given quilts also.. some really appreciate them.. others just let them lay around... oh well.. had the best of intentions..
I too would like a thank you for all the hard work.. and love that went into them..
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