copycat

We are making plans for our mother to go to an assisted living facility. I am getting her room move in ready.

I made her a quilt that she loves. Currently, she doesn't use it on her bed but displays it over a banister rail. Occasionally, she will use it as she watches tv. I have heard stories about quilts disappearing from your loved one's room...or when doing laundry the quilt gets ruined. Please advise what your experience has been or am I being over cautious?

LGJARN52

I'd make a special label for the backside with her name and room number on it....then photograph both the quilt and the label in case a situation ever arises.

megs0863

Even in bold sharpie marker with my mother's name on the back, my hand quilted log cabin with matching pillow disappeared when my mother was in the hospital and shortly after transferred to rehab. I lived 3 hours away and my sister who was close by had no idea what happened to it. I do have the last picture of mom, covered and smiling in her quilt.

Snooze2978

We had a quilt disappear of my grandmother's back in the 70's after she had a stroke plus she was crippled with polio early in life. We had her in a very expensive private nursing home too. My father decided to move her to the county nursing home where she got better care and nothing went missing so you never know which nursing home will be the best these days.

I had to put my brother into a nursing home, he has MS. They left him in a diaper, tee shirt in his bed all day. Gave him a bath 2-3 times a week. He couldn't walk and due to no exercise, his body got worse instead of better with the supposed therapy. I filled out papers to get him into a VA nursing home knowing it would take possibly 2yrs or more to get him in but after 14 months, they had a spot for him. The 1st nursing home knew he was going and they raised his rent by $2,000 the last month claiming it should have been that much all a long. The VA is costing him less than half as much, he's getting much better care, they get him dressed and into his wheelchair with a mechanical lift. The nurses come in often to chat with him. He loves it there. It's still not as close as I'd like it to be so we can come up to see him but he's on the list for a VA nursing home closer to his siblings and friends. He's leaving it up to me to decide if and when they have a room for him. Very hard decision to make when he's very happy where he is now. So far nothing has gone missing from his room there.

LadyAg77

I would weigh how much the quilt means to whoever will have the quilt in future years. My experience is that there are way too many people taking advantage of the elderly and sick to risk a family heirloom. If your mother would not be sad without this particular quilt nearby, I would purchase a lovely quilt or throw for her to use now, and that she can still enjoy. No easy decisions!

GingerK

I presume you have visited/toured this facility. Have you been able to glance into other residents' rooms? Were there a lot of personal or 'seemingly' precious possession visible? Does this facility have a Facebook/webpage presence with resident/family comments?

I guess it really comes back to how disappointed would your mother be if the quilt did not go with her. A compromise might be seeing how the first month or so goes. It could always make an appearance later.

mkc

If the laundry is being done by the facility, it is most likely either in their own industrial machines or they send it out to be done at a commercial facility. This might especially be the case with anything they consider bedding.

From my experience with a family member's belongings, if there is anything you don't want to risk being washed in very hot water and dried at very hot temperatures, she should probably not take it.

As an aside, no other valuables (like jewelry) should move with her if possible.

thimblebug6000

It has been 22 years since my Mom passed, but she was in care for 7 years and had her quilt on her bed, but I brought it home and washed regularly. Only one brand new sweater with no name on it yet, ever went missing in all that time, family members visited daily.

Onebyone

. My friends who have parents in care homes say visit every day or several times a week even at night when the staff changes, not the same timed visits so all the staff know you. They take quilts to the home to donate and very few come up missing. Maybe sew an air tag in a special quilt. That may help if it disappears.

WMUTeach

My experience was............It that special quilt or shirt or pillow or any item has either monetary or sentimental value don't leave it in your elder's room. It will walk or be damaged. I chose to do my father's laundry when he was in assisted living to save money. But I heard of others in the same facility who had items go missing or be damaged by washing. These folks are thinking sanitation when walking, so quilts get washed weekly. How do I now, I have donated quilts to a hospice center where a niece works and offered to repair damaged quilts. I get about 4 o4 5 ever two months that have been damaged by washing. It breaks my heart to see lovely hand work damaged by harsh detergents and such frequent washing that they have holes and bindings worn to threads. So sad, but I repair them and return them because the patients love that little touch of home in their rooms.