winia

Enough already with the it's your fault. Does that help to get the guild off the hook for not welcoming and mentoring new members? There's many, many guilds who don't welcome new members. I belonged to one who didn't even want me on a volunteer basis to help with a couple of committees. Why? Because they didn't want new people. Plain and simple. Going to a sew day at a local quilt shop is infinitely better for getting to know other quilters. Taking classes at a local quilt shop is infinitely better for getting to know other quilters. Guilds have too many cliques.

toverly

I understaned that MamaHen. Sometimes the group just doesn't "meld well". It takes a variety of people. My DH and I experienced it with Cub Scouts. We grew the pack and once we left and went on to Boy Scouts, the Pack almost folded. Now it is under a new Organization group and is rebounding. The best advice I can give, since y'all are down to a small group, is to try to arrange to start sewing together again. Some will drop out even further, they won't want to bother bringing their machines. Others will take an interest again, they will get things done. Either way, you'll end up with doers and reinforce friendships which in turn will attract other friendships.

Tippysmom

I left a group like the ones you all have described. Everyone had their own friends, and when I was assigned to a committee, the other members took it over completely, any of their ideas and suggestions were applauded, while mine were ignored.

I will think long and hard before I join another.

ManiacQuilter2

WOW, I could NOT have said it any better. I joined a sewing group at a local church and the group at the senior center. Am getting to know the ladies who attend both groups better. Yes, there always seems to be clicks at the guilds members have that I have belong to. I hope neither one of these groups turn out to be that way.

Jan, what a GREAT idea to have someone hook up with a new member. There is nothing worse than looking into a window from outside.

JJ

Sewnoma

You guild's program sounds WONDERFUL Jan!! It must be a great guild to be so well organized and to be so welcoming. I'm jealous!

I did attend my first LQS class recently and met some very nice people. I definitely intend to take more, if for no other reason than to meet more people! I haven't lived in the area all that long so my only friends right now are work friends or long-distance friends, and NONE of them are quilters. Most of them are very supportive of my hobby, but none of them SHARE my hobby. I think it would be marvelous to have a friend with the same obsession I have.

scrapinmema

I belong to two guilds, one of the guilds is so clickish it isn't even funny. I do know a couple of members and try to set with them while I'm there. When it comes time to reelect new board members they have all ready picked out (someone in their click) who they want to do what for each positions and if someone else speaks up they may or may not write down their names and put in the person they want and ignore all others. The only reason I continue to be a member of this group is our local quilt store gives a discount for members and if you don't attend so many meetings a year you are dropped even if you pay your dues.

TeresaA

Well I've never joined a guild even though it would certainly be nice to have more people to talk to in-person about quilting. Every time the guild that is about 10 minutes from my house meets, I kick myself for not going. Now, I'm sort of glad that I haven't bothered. I had guessed what you're describing would be the default dynamic, based on some volunteer things I've done where nobody wanted to make friends. I would be amazed if it wasn't that way. People seem to stay in their own little worlds because it takes too much energy to do otherwise..

The particular guild I'm speaking of makes participation a requirement of membership. And maybe the issue you bring up is the reason why.

I don't know how well mentoring works. It seems that people would have to be matched so they click with each other, otherwise the relationship would deteriorate pretty fast. Newbie group meetings might be nice to hold during a warm-up period, with legacy members joining in to offer information. That way the newbies could form alliances with each other.

I suspect sew-ins and community charity quilt gatherings are better ways to meet people who want to meet other people. Sadly.

For me, I'm waiting until AQS or other similar organization offers a discount on membership so I can get a JoAnn's discount card. And I'll probably continue to steer clear from joining a guild.

mckwilter

I belong to two guilds, and tho' I am not an officer or member of any committees, if I notice someone new, I make it a point to introduce myself and ask them if anyone has shown them around. If they say they're with someone, I back off with a "nice to meet you". If they say they are alone, I take them around to each of the tables (speaker workshop sign-ups, charity quilt kits, show & tell sign-up, lottery block, raffle) and explain how each of them works, then I ask them if we can sit together for the meeting. I do this because no one did it for me, and rather than sit back and complain about it, I decided to do something about it. It isn't easy for me, because I am not a naturally outgoing person. People think I'm joking when I say I am shy, because I do take the time to meet and greet, but it is something I have to force myself to do. However, the rewards are great.

The smaller of the two guilds I belong to has a two visit policy -- after two visits, you must either join or stop coming. Sounds harsh, but until we started enforcing it, there were several ladies who came month after month, enjoyed the food, fellowship, speakers, and never joined or contributed in any way to the guild. The guild's point of view is that after two meetings, you should know whether you and the guild fit.

The smaller guild tries to have a sewing day at least one Saturday each month. Sometimes it's a work day to assemble charity quilt kits; sometimes its to work on quilts for a particular charity, like Quilts of Valor; sometimes its a "bring your own project" day. And every 3 months or so, we reserve the Precinct bus and do a road trip which includes visiting quilt shops, quilt shows, a quilt museum and always includes lunch.

Both guilds have an annual retreat, sometimes with a teacher, but most times each person just brings whatever they want to work on. Everyone wanders around looking at the different projects each member has brought to work on. We watch as projects go up on design walls, and sometimes someone asks for advice on placement of blocks, etc. It's a great way to get to know people, especially if you try to sit with someone new at each meal.

tessagin

Last year while showing some property to a buyer, one of the homes had quilts everywhere and not well taken care of. They buyers and I commented and realized we had another interest. They belonged to a guild and invited me to a supper at their guild and were encouraged to bring a guest. I went and had a great time. I was introduced to a few people and recognized a few. Shortly after that there was a quilt show in town and I went alone and that was ok. I saw and spoke with my clients at the show and sought out the info pamphlets about the guild. First meeting was free. Good thing. Went to the guild meeting and saw many people I knew. Not such a good thing but thought I would mind my own business and try to be as nice as possible. This was one VERY BIG clique. I hung around my clients and a few people I didn't know and tried to introduce myself. I still was indecisive about joining. My clients finally bought a house and we communicated back and forth. I saw them again and they asked if I was going to join and so I "applied" (which I didn't know they did a character reference into ones personal life. I notified my application was denied. I asked why and my clients found out that one of the members didn't think I was "a Christian". I guess she was "God's Mother Mary". In the past I had done a lot of favors for GMM. We worked for the same brokerage at one time. And had a falling out. Anyway I checked out some other guilds and found out GMM was a member there. I go to the LQS once in awhile and spend some time with them. I also go to my sister's house maybe once a month and sew there. Her DGD is learning to sew and is into making crafts. I'll just stick to those close to me and I get to have fun with my sister's bf's FW. I have to say if there was a quilt guild like Jan's I'd be a little happier as long as I didn't haveto put up with GMM being there.

KalamaQuilts

As Theresa noted, from my own experience all groups are like this, it isn't just guilds. Bring their friend who is attached at the hip, and holy cow if you sit in 'their' seat. Tour buses, Red Hatting, Church, Classes.... it is just human nature, not a better part of it.
I was on one tour where you sat where you wanted the first day but thereafter you had a different assigned seat each morning, working your way through the bus until you at least knew everyone's name and where they were from. Very cool and fun.

One quick way to do this at a guild meeting would be at the start, ask every other one in the row to stand up
Then ask them to move back one row. Back row moves forward. Some people will refuse, but most are pretty nice, given an opportunity.