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Thread: behavior problem question

  1. #1
    a regular here sisLH's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Waupun, Wisconsin
    I need your help.
    Our 8 year old grandson took a new Christmas toy from his 5 year old brother and broke it in anger. It wasn't an accident-it was a deliberate act of meanness.
    This was a gift that my husband and I had bought. So I told the 8 yr old he had to make restituition -either by cash from piggy bank or by helping grandpa and I do some work. If he chose the cash, then he could get the cash back by working it off helping to clean, etc -some project.
    The toy cost $15. He gave us $5. I did not tell him an amount to give as I knew he doesn't yet have that concept of money. He will get the $5 back. I just wanted him to know that he has to show restitution for his actions in lfe.
    Well, I got alot of flack for this from family. What do you think-was it too strong of a punishment?

  2. #2
    Super Member Qbee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Why did you get flack?? I mean, what was their complaint??

  3. #3
    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    West Coast
    I think you made a very fair consequence for his actions. It's not like you mindlessly spanked the child or ignored his misdeed. There was a lesson attached.

  4. #4
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Anchorage, AK
    I think what you did was fine...too many kids don't learn that they have to take responsibility for their actions. Don't know what the flack was about from the family, but if the parents weren't going to hold him accountable you did the right thing.

  5. #5
    Super Member redkimba's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    North Texas
    I think you did the right thing. The 8-year-old needs to learn that all actions have consequences, both good and bad.

  6. #6
    Moderator sharon b's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Northern Indiana
    Blog Entries
    as long as when you explained it to him you were not angry I see no problem with this - when my kids were younger I took a parenting class and this was one way to handle a difficult situation - for every action there is a reaction . And a nice way to teach the child the value of money - he is not too young to understand that it takes work to earn money and money to pay for things .

  7. #7
    Moderator littlehud's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    SW Iowa
    It sounds like what I would have done. I see no problem.

  8. #8
    Super Member kwhite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    North East USA
    My 22 yo has no concept of money. That is our fault for not teaching her at your GS's age. Good job Gramma. Keep up the good work.

  9. #9
    Super Member feline fanatic's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    IMHO, parents who do not teach their children that there are consequences for their actions (bad and good) are doing their children a grave disservice and eventually releasing irresponsible adults into society who have a misguided sense of entitlement.

    What you did was perfectly acceptable and hopefully a good life lesson. I simply can not understand parents who think their children should not be disciplined in any way.

  10. #10
    Super Member mommamac's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Coast of Maine
    I think you were lenient - I would have taken him & his piggy bank to the store, have him find the cost of the item & buy it for his brother. If his bank didn't have enough, then I'd have him then 'work' to earn the difference.

    Kids need consequences that fit their actions - like the sign in some stores: 'if you break it, you buy it!'

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