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Thread: Be good to yourself...!

  1. #1
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    I'm discouraged to keep hearing folks say "I'm so stupid" or "I'm computer challenged", "my points don't match", etc. When will we start taking care of ourself by acknowledging the good things and not advertising the negatives? Sure, some of us may not be as knowledgeable around the computer..but that doesn't make you stupid, it just makes you less knowledgeable! None of us on the board are stupid because we know enough to get on the board in the first place.

    Years ago a book was published (which I never read) but the title was wonderful: "All You can do is all you can do, but all you can do is enough". What I took from it is that we all have things we can and things we can't do...but what we can do is enough to get us thru the current situation and to the next level of learning.

    I challenge you all to avoid the "I can't.." syndrome and the other negative statements about your self, and turn them into positive statements like: "I want to learn more about...", or "my next challenge is..., or "can you help me with...".

    It's OK to say you need help, and you already know that others on the board are willing to help, but why help someone who keeps saying that they are "stupid" because, as I was taught, stupid people can't learn, uneducated people can learn.

    We quilters are an amazing group of people, and I think it's because we're not stupid and because we are willing to ask for help and a way to learn.

    Have a good day, and hope I haven't offended anyone.

  2. #2
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
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    Kate, good thing to remember. I am very guilty of this, lately, with trying to get a decent job. I CANT go back to school because, you know, wont pass math, BLAH, BLAH. I need confidence, and I NEED to remember this.
    How does one get confidence, if ANYONE knows, please tell me?!!!
    Ah, I am rambleing, firstcup of coffee, lol!

  3. #3
    Janj's Avatar
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    Happy Tuesday and I so agree! Beating one's self up is defeating... Do your best and when you have questions seek others for answers... No one knows everything, but we learn from each other and by research! I learn something new each day!

  4. #4
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    I think that part of getting confidence is acting confident...find those things that you do well and emphasize them (but don't stretch the truth) and also restate those things that you feel you "don't do well"...some training I had in how to do interviews said to restate...instead of thinking and saying that I "can't do x" think and say "I am learning to do X", or "I am looking for the opportunity to learn X"....as someone who was able to hire people in my job, I was more interested in people who knew their shortcomings and how to deal with them than in the folks who knew everything or who demonstrated an attitude of failure.

    Being without a job is not an enjoyable experience, and I hope you realizee that folks here on the board are supporting you.

    Quote Originally Posted by CarrieAnne
    Kate, good thing to remember. I am very guilty of this, lately, with trying to get a decent job. I CANT go back to school because, you know, wont pass math, BLAH, BLAH. I need confidence, and I NEED to remember this.
    How does one get confidence, if ANYONE knows, please tell me?!!!
    Ah, I am rambleing, firstcup of coffee, lol!

  5. #5
    Super Member ckcowl's Avatar
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    i agree totally! i am constantly trying to get people to stop 'beating themselves up' and expecting so much...there are such negative terms used that i find distressful...like (cheater-panal) cheater seems so negative and yet these wonderful fabrics are made to inspire and be useful there is nothing negative to finding a wonderful panal you love...why stick such negativity to it?
    be proud of your accomplishements, show them off, and avoid the negativity
    DON'T WORRY--BE HAPPY! if you make something-- that is such a great accomplishment! there should not be a negative foot-note added to your accomplishments!

  6. #6
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
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    I agree with all the above.
    However, a lot of my self put-downs are not a big deal to me!
    I'm either half-joking or I don't really care about it that much.
    I think there's a lot to be said for laughing at one's self. Keeps me from taking myself and life too seriously :)

  7. #7
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    the problem with putdowns is that others may not know you're kidding, and eventually, we start believing what we say..it's the old "self-talk"...we are what we say we are.

  8. #8
    Super Member quiltmaker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ktbb
    I'm discouraged to keep hearing folks say "I'm so stupid" or "I'm computer challenged", "my points don't match", etc. When will we start taking care of ourself by acknowledging the good things and not advertising the negatives? Sure, some of us may not be as knowledgeable around the computer..but that doesn't make you stupid, it just makes you less knowledgeable! None of us on the board are stupid because we know enough to get on the board in the first place.

    Years ago a book was published (which I never read) but the title was wonderful: "All You can do is all you can do, but all you can do is enough". What I took from it is that we all have things we can and things we can't do...but what we can do is enough to get us thru the current situation and to the next level of learning.

    I challenge you all to avoid the "I can't.." syndrome and the other negative statements about your self, and turn them into positive statements like: "I want to learn more about...", or "my next challenge is..., or "can you help me with...".

    It's OK to say you need help, and you already know that others on the board are willing to help, but why help someone who keeps saying that they are "stupid" because, as I was taught, stupid people can't learn, uneducated people can learn.

    We quilters are an amazing group of people, and I think it's because we're not stupid and because we are willing to ask for help and a way to learn.

    Have a good day, and hope I haven't offended anyone.

    It is worth remembering this little quote...."If it is to be....It is up to me." We can do anything we set our minds to....so what if it is not absolutely perfect. Whatever we do we do with love and caring and that alone is worth more than we will ever realize to another person.

  9. #9
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    in reguards to quilting..i usually make a "funny" out of my mistakes. they don't worry me..and by posting about them, i hope it makes others feel, that they don't need to be perfect. that they happen in quilting,to all of us (veterans,newbies and thise in between) and they can be fixed,adjusted or made into something else!

  10. #10
    Super Member leaha's Avatar
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    the only thing I know for sure that I can not do is waterski, I spent a whole sumer trying and never got my skinny fanny up out of the water, had a whole lake full of people LOL, but I kept trying. I can't is just not part of me, I know my limits but I also do not know all I can do till I try. So till then their is only one thing I can not do, LOL

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