Welcome to the Quilting Board!

Already a member? Login above
loginabove
OR
To post questions, help other quilters and reduce advertising (like the one on your left), join our quilting community. It's free!

Page 1 of 3 1 2 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 51

Thread: Be good to yourself...!

  1. #1
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Anchorage, AK
    Posts
    1,294
    I'm discouraged to keep hearing folks say "I'm so stupid" or "I'm computer challenged", "my points don't match", etc. When will we start taking care of ourself by acknowledging the good things and not advertising the negatives? Sure, some of us may not be as knowledgeable around the computer..but that doesn't make you stupid, it just makes you less knowledgeable! None of us on the board are stupid because we know enough to get on the board in the first place.

    Years ago a book was published (which I never read) but the title was wonderful: "All You can do is all you can do, but all you can do is enough". What I took from it is that we all have things we can and things we can't do...but what we can do is enough to get us thru the current situation and to the next level of learning.

    I challenge you all to avoid the "I can't.." syndrome and the other negative statements about your self, and turn them into positive statements like: "I want to learn more about...", or "my next challenge is..., or "can you help me with...".

    It's OK to say you need help, and you already know that others on the board are willing to help, but why help someone who keeps saying that they are "stupid" because, as I was taught, stupid people can't learn, uneducated people can learn.

    We quilters are an amazing group of people, and I think it's because we're not stupid and because we are willing to ask for help and a way to learn.

    Have a good day, and hope I haven't offended anyone.

  2. #2
    Power Poster CarrieAnne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Whitewater, WI
    Posts
    26,044
    Kate, good thing to remember. I am very guilty of this, lately, with trying to get a decent job. I CANT go back to school because, you know, wont pass math, BLAH, BLAH. I need confidence, and I NEED to remember this.
    How does one get confidence, if ANYONE knows, please tell me?!!!
    Ah, I am rambleing, firstcup of coffee, lol!

  3. #3
    Janj's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Chesterfield, Mi.
    Posts
    68
    Happy Tuesday and I so agree! Beating one's self up is defeating... Do your best and when you have questions seek others for answers... No one knows everything, but we learn from each other and by research! I learn something new each day!

  4. #4
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Anchorage, AK
    Posts
    1,294
    I think that part of getting confidence is acting confident...find those things that you do well and emphasize them (but don't stretch the truth) and also restate those things that you feel you "don't do well"...some training I had in how to do interviews said to restate...instead of thinking and saying that I "can't do x" think and say "I am learning to do X", or "I am looking for the opportunity to learn X"....as someone who was able to hire people in my job, I was more interested in people who knew their shortcomings and how to deal with them than in the folks who knew everything or who demonstrated an attitude of failure.

    Being without a job is not an enjoyable experience, and I hope you realizee that folks here on the board are supporting you.

    Quote Originally Posted by CarrieAnne
    Kate, good thing to remember. I am very guilty of this, lately, with trying to get a decent job. I CANT go back to school because, you know, wont pass math, BLAH, BLAH. I need confidence, and I NEED to remember this.
    How does one get confidence, if ANYONE knows, please tell me?!!!
    Ah, I am rambleing, firstcup of coffee, lol!

  5. #5
    Power Poster ckcowl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Northern Michigan
    Posts
    11,194
    Blog Entries
    1
    i agree totally! i am constantly trying to get people to stop 'beating themselves up' and expecting so much...there are such negative terms used that i find distressful...like (cheater-panal) cheater seems so negative and yet these wonderful fabrics are made to inspire and be useful there is nothing negative to finding a wonderful panal you love...why stick such negativity to it?
    be proud of your accomplishements, show them off, and avoid the negativity
    DON'T WORRY--BE HAPPY! if you make something-- that is such a great accomplishment! there should not be a negative foot-note added to your accomplishments!

  6. #6
    Power Poster sueisallaboutquilts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    17,462
    I agree with all the above.
    However, a lot of my self put-downs are not a big deal to me!
    I'm either half-joking or I don't really care about it that much.
    I think there's a lot to be said for laughing at one's self. Keeps me from taking myself and life too seriously :)

  7. #7
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Anchorage, AK
    Posts
    1,294
    the problem with putdowns is that others may not know you're kidding, and eventually, we start believing what we say..it's the old "self-talk"...we are what we say we are.

  8. #8
    Super Member quiltmaker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    In Hiding
    Posts
    1,227
    Quote Originally Posted by ktbb
    I'm discouraged to keep hearing folks say "I'm so stupid" or "I'm computer challenged", "my points don't match", etc. When will we start taking care of ourself by acknowledging the good things and not advertising the negatives? Sure, some of us may not be as knowledgeable around the computer..but that doesn't make you stupid, it just makes you less knowledgeable! None of us on the board are stupid because we know enough to get on the board in the first place.

    Years ago a book was published (which I never read) but the title was wonderful: "All You can do is all you can do, but all you can do is enough". What I took from it is that we all have things we can and things we can't do...but what we can do is enough to get us thru the current situation and to the next level of learning.

    I challenge you all to avoid the "I can't.." syndrome and the other negative statements about your self, and turn them into positive statements like: "I want to learn more about...", or "my next challenge is..., or "can you help me with...".

    It's OK to say you need help, and you already know that others on the board are willing to help, but why help someone who keeps saying that they are "stupid" because, as I was taught, stupid people can't learn, uneducated people can learn.

    We quilters are an amazing group of people, and I think it's because we're not stupid and because we are willing to ask for help and a way to learn.

    Have a good day, and hope I haven't offended anyone.

    It is worth remembering this little quote...."If it is to be....It is up to me." We can do anything we set our minds to....so what if it is not absolutely perfect. Whatever we do we do with love and caring and that alone is worth more than we will ever realize to another person.

  9. #9
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    5,837
    Blog Entries
    1
    in reguards to quilting..i usually make a "funny" out of my mistakes. they don't worry me..and by posting about them, i hope it makes others feel, that they don't need to be perfect. that they happen in quilting,to all of us (veterans,newbies and thise in between) and they can be fixed,adjusted or made into something else!

  10. #10
    Super Member leaha's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    2,199
    Blog Entries
    28
    the only thing I know for sure that I can not do is waterski, I spent a whole sumer trying and never got my skinny fanny up out of the water, had a whole lake full of people LOL, but I kept trying. I can't is just not part of me, I know my limits but I also do not know all I can do till I try. So till then their is only one thing I can not do, LOL

  11. #11
    Power Poster Sadiemae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    11,454
    Blog Entries
    20
    Agree!

  12. #12
    Mimito2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Oak Ridge TN
    Posts
    884
    I was told recently by my best friend that when we met, because of my silent, reserved and watchful nature, that she first thought I was uppity. Little did she know that I was just testing the water before jumping in with both feet. She was glad she had given me the benifit of the doubt.

    "If you mouth is open, your ears are closed!" I need to shut my mouth and listen to my inner "child" when it tells me what to do. lol .....

  13. #13
    Super Member redkimba's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    North Texas
    Posts
    1,725
    Quote Originally Posted by CarrieAnne
    Kate, good thing to remember. I am very guilty of this, lately, with trying to get a decent job. I CANT go back to school because, you know, wont pass math, BLAH, BLAH. I need confidence, and I NEED to remember this.
    How does one get confidence, if ANYONE knows, please tell me?!!!
    Ah, I am rambleing, firstcup of coffee, lol!

    Keep in mind that if/when you do go back to school and you don't know math (for example) - the school might offer a tutor program that is free to students.

    Thanks for posting this. I run across it lots of times; I try to assure people that ignorance can be fixed.

  14. #14
    Super Member Quiltforme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Beautiful Washington state!
    Posts
    3,341
    Thank you for the reminder. I decided to start challenging myself because I of the "fear" of the unknown. My son took over my computer and showed me a few things on my EQ5 program someone pointed out that " He wants to know what the buttons do and WE are afraid of what they might do!" I will be posting this to my machine!! I lost my foot for my machine and found that FMQ is so much easier than I thought I just have to follow the 3 P's practice, practice, practice. Thank you again!!

  15. #15
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Front row
    Posts
    14,661
    Blog Entries
    2
    You gain confidence by doing. It doesn't have to be done perfect and you don't have to present yourself as perfect. Just start doing.

  16. #16
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    MS
    Posts
    3,486
    Blog Entries
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by watterstide
    in reguards to quilting..i usually make a "funny" out of my mistakes. they don't worry me..and by posting about them, i hope it makes others feel, that they don't need to be perfect. that they happen in quilting,to all of us (veterans,newbies and thise in between) and they can be fixed,adjusted or made into something else!
    I second what watterstide said. When I say I don't know, I did it wrong, the mistake is, etc. it is a statement of fact and not a put down to myself. Just wait until I post the finished picture of my (Danmar's Swish) Bargello. I love that quilt and I have made sooooo many mistakes while making it. I knew better, just didn't do better. Statement of fact.
    I agree our phycie (how do you spell it?) hears us put ourselves down and over time will/may start believing what it hears. The truth is the truth. Statement of fact is statement of fact. Let's pump ourselves up. My Bargello has taught me that I do know, can remember how or look it up and come out with a beautiful quilt in the end. Somebody is going to care it has bearding, wrinkles in the backing at the sashing, so many rippit spots they are crying out in anguish, that I had to iron adhesive backing on one corner because my temper put tiny holes in the rippit spots. ????? No one cares. I don't care. I love the quilt and I can do it!!!!!! :D :D :D

  17. #17
    Power Poster ann clare's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Navan. Co. Meath. Ireland
    Posts
    15,127
    Thanks for this positive post.

  18. #18
    Senior Member janethagy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    636
    Blog Entries
    1
    Quote Originally Posted by redkimba
    Quote Originally Posted by CarrieAnne
    Kate, good thing to remember. I am very guilty of this, lately, with trying to get a decent job. I CANT go back to school because, you know, wont pass math, BLAH, BLAH. I need confidence, and I NEED to remember this.
    How does one get confidence, if ANYONE knows, please tell me?!!!
    Ah, I am rambleing, firstcup of coffee, lol!

    Keep in mind that if/when you do go back to school and you don't know math (for example) - the school might offer a tutor program that is free to students.

    Thanks for posting this. I run across it lots of times; I try to assure people that ignorance can be fixed.
    I went back to school when I was 50, had the opportunity and decided to take advantage of it.. Was so proud of myself when I graduated with my Associates degree in Office Technology.
    Its so true, "You can do anything if you set your mind to it" . :thumbup:

  19. #19
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Anchorage, AK
    Posts
    1,294
    congratulations on your degree, janethagy

  20. #20
    Super Member buslady's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Thumb of Michigan
    Posts
    2,267
    Blog Entries
    7
    Particularly with the quilting, I have heard SO many people say, "I could never do that", I just love to show them differently. You can do anything you put your mind to. It may not turn out like you expected, but if you persevere you can do it! Some of the prettiest projects I've seen are not what they started out to be, but because of the experience they are actually BETTER! Also, if you even think you want to go back to school, don't let a little thing like being bad a math stop you. You will amaze yourself. I graduated at the bottom of my high school class. 13 years later I went to college, graduated the same year my oldest child did. Magna Cum Laude! It all depends on your determination!

  21. #21
    Super Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Anchorage, AK
    Posts
    1,294
    I frequently use a comment made by a couple of quilting instructors have used in class..."It's not a mistake, it's a design decision". there are so many things that turn out differently than we expected or even hoped, that we have to be flexible enough to leave some in...and those become design decisions...Yes, I designed that ruffle in one corner for a little surprise! Yes, I designed the cut-off points on this one just because I liked the look. Yes, I designed it so it has one block turned the opposite way because only God is perfect.

    I make a lot of design decisions in my work, and no one is the wiser.

  22. #22
    a regular here MegsAnn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,341
    What a good reminder.

  23. #23
    Super Member Psychomomquilter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Raleigh,NC
    Posts
    1,926
    Blog Entries
    8
    Been working on that for some time now! and so much easire to say I can, a positive mental attitude, working on that

    I couldn't mess with a computer say 12 years ago, I can now say I CAN! the binding on quilts, just a few months ago! now I CAN , still a work in progress, and is getting better, But I can say I CAN!

    I can do a lot of things I couldn't not too long ago! so ladies heads up You can !!!!!

    Like Janethagy; I also went back to school in 2004,( at age 58) got me an associates degree, which is just sitting on my wall for me to look at, but I did it! I accomplished something I wanted to do for years! Like some one said, If you put your mind to it you CAN do it!. I always thought I was stupid, not worth anything and so on, not just because of the schooling, I learned who I was and what my purpose is on this earth! . If I can do it so can you.

  24. #24
    Junior Member nurseblondie62's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Northwest, MT
    Posts
    128
    When we were kids, we would say "I can't". My mom would tell us to put the "can" down and do it anyway. This has always stayed with me. You CAN do anything that you set your mind to do.

  25. #25
    Senior Member kellen46's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    805
    Can't pass math...thats me, I have a dyslexia, but oh yes I did go back to school and I did get a BA and a decent job. I did take math, I had to, all the way up to Statistics (awful) and Trigonometry (really awful). I just kept plugging away at it, I asked tons of questions, handed in the homework even though it was mostly wrong. I think the prof saw I was really trying hard and took pity on me and gave me a D. Now I would have been on the deans list except for math. But that was a while ago and I did get work, no one asked me to do math with out a calculator or what my grades were....so I guess confidence is gained by trying, for sure you won't be perfect, so what, it is sort of like when in grade school and they threatened to put "it" on your permanent record....guess what no one notices your permanent record. Go forth and do even if you think you might fail, you might surprise your self, you won't shame your self and you will never have to say..."if only I wasn't such a scaredy cat I would have..." you do not learn from your successes you learn from your mistakes and failure is a great motivator to learn to learn in a different way. At the very least you will be able to say I tried, I gave it my best. When Edison was working on finding a suitable filament for the light bulb he tried over a thousand things before he found one that worked. Later a reporter asked him about this and asked how he dealt with the disappointment of failure,,Edison replied that he had not failed over a thousand time, he had discovered over a thousand things that would not work....go, do, don't let fear get in your way.....and you will be fine.

Page 1 of 3 1 2 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

SEO by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.