Fancy Nancy

so many of you have pics and mention your grandkids. am I the only one that never gets to see her only granddaughter? They live about 1 1/2 hours from here but their lives seem to be too busy to come visit - it is hard for me to get to them b/c I care for my 94 year old mom who has advanced Alzheimer's and a few health problems. Does not look promising to getting to see them at xmas as they are hesitant to have the baby around my mom as she has a staph infection that is causing blistery bumps all over her - she is under treatment - 2nd round of antibiotics - but no new blisters for several days now. It is only an excuse on their part anyway b/c she did not have it at Tgiving but they just couldn't get here - but did go to her parents (my DIL) which is about 1/2 hour from them. I have seen the baby 3 times - and she was born 8/4. How does everyone else handle not seeing their grandkids much?

CoyoteQuilts

Sorry Nancy, I am in the same boat you are, but more miles between them. I have 12 total grandkids, 2 live near us (1 about 10 miles away the other about 45 miles)and if we see them we are the ones that usually get to use our time and gas...... The other 10 are in California and New York State. The 2 in NY are my biological grandkids and it was a very hard decision when the oldest was born not to move back there. We moved to AZ 16 years ago and the oldest GD in NY is now 8. I so wanted to be around them, but had to admit I left NY for a reason and couldn't go back to live. To help we are online with video with Skype, we go back as much as we can and when DD got married last year we took care of the kids while mom and dad went on their honeymoon.

I hope you find a solution to your own problem that will bring you closer to your DGD.

Willa

So sorry to hear this. Have you talked to your son and asked him if there are any problems you don't know of? Maybe they're hurting for cash and/or he doesn't realize how much he's hurting you. Just remember "kid gloves" when you talk to him/them. Don't accuse but let him know it hurts when they leave you "out". Best wishes and praying for you.

Jim

Nancy, so sorry to hear that. My wife and I moved from our home of 30 yrs and built a new home 35 miles away to be near our grandkids...2 weeks after moving our first grandson was born. It's been 6 yrs and we now have 4 grandsons, 6, 2(twins), and 1. We are 1 1/2 miles from daughter and 6 miles from our son. We watch all 4 of them while their parents work. I know we are blessed. I would be heart broken not to be able to see them and interact with them. I grew up with only 1 grandparent and she was such a blessing. I hope that something changes and you and your grands can see each other more often.

JulieM

It is sad not being able to see your grandkids, I have 7 stepchildren that live 300 miles away, and one who lives 30 minutes away.

JulieM

noveltyjunkie

Fancy- it sounds like there are issues there that are not related to distance. Maybe your DIL is relying on her own mother more since she became a mom herself and maybe (however unintentionally) she does not feel comfortable being a mom around you? I know my own children have a much closer relationship with my mother than with my MIL- I think that is the way with lots of families- my brother's kids are not close to our mother either- much more to their other grandparents.

Your DIL has to feel welcome as well-did they visit before they had your DGD? Have you ever fallen out, or did you just drift apart somehow? 1.5 hours is nothing really- no excuse not to visit if they really made it a priority.

Sorry you are hurting over this, but do try to work it out.

donnajean

If they have a computer, you can download Skype for free. It is a great way to keep in touch & to be able to see each other.

watterstide

this saddens me..i have 2 close by and 2 that live in texas. i miss them like crazy. Skype does help a little.

can you get respite care for you mom, so you can go visit? i think that is what i would do.

i think you would need to get a hold of social worker or community resource center in your area.

fidgety

I have 4 grandkids right now with twins due in March. My loving daughter lives 1000 miles away with 3 of our grandsons. We only get to see them about once a year. Our grand daughter lives about 5 miles away and it seems we can only see her about once every 3 or so weeks, The twins will also live about 5 miles away. My grandsons want to come to Va to visit. This summer I am going to have to figure out how to get them here!

ptquilts

Hi - we are in the same situation - DH has 4 kids all with kids of their own. Oldest DD does not talk to him, no one can figure out why. Next oldest lives in Europe, she does make an effort to come see us when she is over here. DS & wife live about 3 hours away, we go to see them when we can, but they never come to see us nor do they invite us down there. We always have to be the ones to invite ourselves (I HATE doing that). DS2 lives about 4 hours away and is planning to move 2K miles away for his job.
Ladies, please, if you are a DIL, PLEASE make an effort to include your DH's family in your plans. So many guys leave the social aspect to their wives and just go along with what they suggest, so they wind up socializing more with wife's family.