noveltyjunkie

I don't know about this one, although I understand your motivation.

I used to do this, but then I realised the my behaviour was making my DH feel like I was trying to make his family behave more like mine. (Our families are about as different as two families could be.) I thought he might be right. So I stopped, while letting him know that I am very open to being with them.

But they are his family and it is up to him, not me, to make sure that our kids are part of their lives.

sall

I am so sorry that you d not see your grandchildren as often as you would like. I think we have to realise that Daughters are always closer to their own Mum. I know that I am very very lucky as I have three lovely DIL. We lost one of our sons 7 years ago aged 42, when his children were aged 7 and 5, they live about 1 1/2 hours drive away, but we see them and DIL just as much as we did before. Sometimes I go to them, and sometimes they come to me. I think you have heard the saying that goes." A son is a son until he marries, a dauhter is a daughter for ever"

clem55

My heart aches for you! The maternal GM seeing more sounds pretty normal, I think most daughters will visit and rely more on their own rather than MIL. There were issues between myself and my DIL, but, thank God, my son knew it and he brought the kids here by himself at least once a week and sometimes more. After their divorce, we would get the kids from daycare and school once a week so had a few hours of having just them which was great. Those kids are now old enough to come visit on their own, and they do come as often as they can( school and work gets in the way at times) . We don't get to have the younger grandkids nearly as much as we would like since their mom remarried and moved a little farther away. In the beginning , before she moved farther out of town, son would bring them once a week on his day, have supper with us, then take them home. Now if he tries to do that, he would have to spend most of his time with them riding in the car. So, either we get them from schookl and take them to him on his day, or we have to wait until it is his week-end, sometimes he brings them, some times not. Both kids play soccer now, and we NEVER miss a game. If we have a chance to see the children, we grab it!! In defense of yoiur son and Dil, maybe she really is scared to have the baby around your mother if she is ill. The baby bis still quite little, and I would be worried to in their place. Staph infections can spread pretty easily. My niece is in a nursing home, she is paralyzed now for 1 1/2 years. She has a 9 month old grandson, her first , and her daughter is scared to death to take him to visit because of infections. When she has, my niece isn't allowed to hold him because of that very reason, she has contacted CDIFF three times in the past year. I know it is so hard on her not holding that baby, but she tries to understand. I don't know your circumstances, but if you can get someone to watch your mom, get in that car and go. If you have a good relationship with your son, talk to him and ask if he can bring the baby more often . My son understands how much we want to see the children, and they want to see us, so it isn't a matter of him trying to
deny us, there are just times when it doesn't work out.

carhop

i can relate to that i have a GS that is 15 and i seen him for the first time sence birth in oct they only lived across the river.

willferg

I'm sort of on the other side, too. My mom passed earlier this year. She lived two states away, but we talked all the time and she was close to my kids. My in-laws live here in town, and we saw them a lot, too. But recently they retired and up and moved away. Now my kids have no grandparents around, and we have no back-up.

I respect my in-laws' right to live their lives to the fullest, but truly, it hurts that they left us and I know my mother would never have done that, would have done anything to be closer...

grannie-k

I know how you feel. We moved to the "country" from big city when 1st gd was only a year. they would come spend a week during the summers but now that they have gotten older 21 and 18 now Only see them when we go to town for family gatherings at MIL. Not sure why but daughter has grown away from us and does not keep in touch. I have tried time and time again to keep the lines open but just meet brick wall. Really makes me sad at the holidays. I had such a close relationship with my grandmother and ended up taking care of her in her last years. I miss having a relationship with my girls. I keep hoping things will change one day.

kbs

My grand and great grandchildren live in MI and I'm in KY. About 9 hours. Don't get to see them very often, use Facebook to get all the pictures.

Ditter43

I have 2 GC that live close. The others are in Alabama and Ohio. The ones in Ohio are all but grown. I didn't get a chance to spend a lot of time with them and it saddens me. Same with the ones in Alabama but we see them more often.
I love having the two youngest ones living close. We see them pretty often. It makes a lot of difference! It is sad you can't spend time with yours. :-(

mhansen6

I am sorry that you can't see your grandkids. I know how you feel. I live in Oregon and my daughter and son-in-law live in Minneapolis. My granddaughter was born in Nov 2009 and I have seen her twice.

The only way we see her grow up is Skype. It is a free internet video chat website. It is wonderful. But her grandparents are just the "people in the box".

Luckily we will see them at Christmas.

Please discuss this situation with your Son. Tell him how you feel. They live so close you should be able to see your granddaughter more often.

Aunt Retta

My Grandkids live a 2.5 hour drive away. I have health problems that make it hard to drive that far. My daughter doesn't drive the car they have. My son-in-law brings them to visit only a couple of times a year. But I talk to my daughter alot on the phone and she tells me about the boys. I wish I could spend more time with them but it is not to be at present.