Not Complaining - Why Don't Doctors Listen?
#102
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: About middle Tennessee
Posts: 787
My first dr. was female; there are good ones and bad ones in every profession. It does concern me tho' that drs. tend to stand up for one another no matter what. I don't like pills either, but sometimes they are the lesser of the two evils.
I've seen people with bags full of them and that does get me to wondering.
I've seen people with bags full of them and that does get me to wondering.
#103
If you are not seeing an allergist----make an appt. I am sure your other doctor would give you a referral if you need one. It is possible you tried to talk about way too many things at the appt. I know, that should not matter but our health care system is not what it used to be. Unfortunately, too many think it is fine the way it is now. Good luck!
#105
I read some of the posts, will read all 7 pages later as I'm sure there are some excellent suggestions among them.
My first reaction was to say "change doctors" too, but the problem with that is, you have to make several appointments to cover all that's wrong with you. There won't be enough time at the new patient appt, believe me. And if you want to talk about Condition X but you have Condition Y, the doctor may refuse to listen until he deals with Condition Y.
So my suggestion is, when the doctor interrupts or ignores what you're saying, raise your hand and make a stop sign (palm facing doctor). Don't worry about interrupting him; he's already done that to you, and YOU'RE the one paying, and YOU'RE why you're both there. It's ALL about you, not him.
If he doesn't stop, then start saying, "Stop, stop, stop" until you can get a word in. Then tell him he needs to listen to you. You've heard his reasons, you don't agree, you need something else.
I loved the post where someone mentioned the three F's: female, fat and over forty. That's so true! We need some women with the three F's to go to medical school so we can get some doctors who understand. Just had to say it.
My first reaction was to say "change doctors" too, but the problem with that is, you have to make several appointments to cover all that's wrong with you. There won't be enough time at the new patient appt, believe me. And if you want to talk about Condition X but you have Condition Y, the doctor may refuse to listen until he deals with Condition Y.
So my suggestion is, when the doctor interrupts or ignores what you're saying, raise your hand and make a stop sign (palm facing doctor). Don't worry about interrupting him; he's already done that to you, and YOU'RE the one paying, and YOU'RE why you're both there. It's ALL about you, not him.
If he doesn't stop, then start saying, "Stop, stop, stop" until you can get a word in. Then tell him he needs to listen to you. You've heard his reasons, you don't agree, you need something else.
I loved the post where someone mentioned the three F's: female, fat and over forty. That's so true! We need some women with the three F's to go to medical school so we can get some doctors who understand. Just had to say it.
#106
Super Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,611
Originally Posted by mommafank
If you are not seeing an allergist----make an appt. I am sure your other doctor would give you a referral if you need one. It is possible you tried to talk about way too many things at the appt. I know, that should not matter but our health care system is not what it used to be. Unfortunately, too many think it is fine the way it is now. Good luck!
#108
Power Poster
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lowell, MA
Posts: 14,083
First, my sympathies for what you are going through. I've been down that road before and it's not easy when the Dr. doesn't liste to you. I had one Dr. tell me to do what he told me to do or don't bother coming back. One time, and I won't go into the details - it would take too long, but the Dr. made me so angry that I wrote a letter to the administrator of the clinic, I received an apology, the administrator spoke with the Dr. and staff at that clinic regarding the incident. Then, I saw another Dr. that my friend recommended from the same clinic. When he entered the exam room he said that he had read my letter and that he had been told to be very, very nice to me. By the way, I sent the letter 2-3 weeks after the incident, when I had calmed down. My letter spelled out what happened, without any derrogatory comments, but just outlined what had happened and that if one person was helped by my letter it was worth it. By the way, it was the first and only letter I wrote. You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect and if you are not - change doctors. If the two of you can't get to the same page, you're not going to get the help you need and answers to your questions. Find another Dr., check with friends and relatives for their experiences Good luck.
#109
Super Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 7,312
I am so blessed with my primary care physician. I have had him for almost 20 years. We joke that we are growing old together. He saw me through the illnesses and deaths of my husband and mother. He keeps up-to-date on all the latest research and medicines but blends that with a big dose of common sense! His greatest attribute is that he really listens to me. I hope you can find a doctor that will really pay attention to you and your needs!
#110
Super Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Galveston Texas
Posts: 1,596
Drs are human, some are better than others. They work for you and should listen to you, you are their boss. I know drs. do not have it easy now with insurance, malpractice etc. But you know your body and they should at least listen. Like another poster, I tend to like women drs better, they understand us more. Most drs down here are connected with the medical school and tend to be cattle herders, don't go to those.
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