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Thread: Please help me out..... an empty-nester

  1. #1
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    Please help me out..... an empty-nester

    O.k., you wonderful ladies have helped me in the past, so here goes! I am having an "age" issue crisis: I am turning 53 years old on tuesday, my mom is 77 years old and ailing all of a sudden, my hips/back is a hot mess to the point that I can't do a lot of things anymore and my daughter is only 15 years old (but, the best kid on the face of the earth!). I am having trouble dealing with my head feeling much younger than my body. And my mom was so "young-like" and spirited just yesterday it seems. My daugther is the best, and still thinks I great even at 15 years old! I am freaking out about being an empty-nester in just 2 years...... I need some positive guidance, ladies..... Margoee
    Last edited by QuiltnNan; 01-14-2012 at 11:19 AM. Reason: clarify title to reflect contents

  2. #2
    Super Member athomenow's Avatar
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    How do you know you'll be an empty nester in two years? Just because she's going to be 18 doesn't mean she's leaving the house. Ask me how I know!!! To address the issue of a healthy body, what are you doing to get in shape? Do you exercise as much as you can? When I turned 40 everything seemed to go downhill fast but at 61 I feel really great. I think having a mind that feels young is half the key and not knowing your medical problems I can't offer advice on that. Just do what you can every day and try to take care of yourself as best you can. We're all aging or we're dead!
    Debra

  3. #3
    Junior Member Panchita's Avatar
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    No experience to help you here, but I would say that I am sure you can adapt to whatever happens - it may take some time, but I am sure you will get there.

    And a lot can happen in 2 years. Including your daughter deciding that she needs to stay at home for a while longer due to various different circumstances (many of them involving money - or the lack thereof - but all with the upside for you of her being around for longer!). Or if she is not at home, then nearby. You sound close, so it may be that *she* won't want to zip off across the country.
    Quilting is my vice



    Live well, laugh often, love much

  4. #4
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    Thanks, Panchita...I am sure I will adapt....always do

    Hey,athomenow.....no, i am not dead, gee thanks, I feel better now.

  5. #5
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    Think of it this way, if in 2-3 years you daughter does move out whether it's to college or her own place it is a sign of a job well done. You have raised someone that is independant and confident in her abilities to make it.

  6. #6
    Super Member MaryMo's Avatar
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    My suggestion is to focus on today, thinking about the man with no feet .... You are so fortunate to have a wonderful 15-year-old and a mother who is still with you. Two years is a long ways off .....
    Make it a scrappy happy day!

  7. #7
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    First off here is a big soft gentle hug. Now as far as your mind thinking you are younger than your body-I suspect everyone feels like that. My body is in worse shape than my 86 yr old dad's body is. And he has arthritis very badly. The point is just do what you can to keep your body in as good of a shape as is possible. Next is make sure you have a life besides that of your childs. After all the goal of being a successful parent is that we give our children wings to fly on their own. I worked hard to develope my own life before my children left home. It worked for a while, unfortunately I hadn't figured in becoming very ill and disabled. There are alot of days I feel sorry for myself, when that happens I try to remember how great my adult children have turned out. I also try to accept my dad's deteriorating health (alsheimers). It is just part of being fortunate enough to live longer, unfortunately our bodies/minds can wear out. I try hard to be involved in a couple of quilting groups, and try to do things for those less fortunate than myself. Making things for kids who are ill, or in bad homelife situations helps me more emotionally than almost anything else.
    Just try not to focus on your wonderful daughter growing up and leaving home. You are raising a truely amazing young woman, give her wings or she will feel guilty over growing up. Don't give up when things seem bad, come here and post a few positive things and you will be amazed how much better you feel.

    Kat

  8. #8
    Super Member Prism99's Avatar
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    Do you have a Wii? If not, a Wii with the balance board and Wii Fit Plus disc can help a lot -- both physically and mentally. It's also something your daughter can enjoy. Start working on your physical state, and your emotional state will improve also.

  9. #9
    Senior Member lindy-2's Avatar
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    hugs would it help your back if you whent to a chiropractor/ massage therpest? i know that has helped my husband enormusly he isent to old but he has a back injury and regular massage is realy making a big difference for him.

  10. #10
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    Hey they are calling this next generation the boomerang generation. You might not be an empty nester for long after 18. A lot of kids are going to college, racking up huge debts and no job when they are done. So you guessed it, back to the nest until they can get back on their feet. Now doesn't that cheer you up? not!!!
    I must admit that I struggle with my body aches and pains too. It also isn't easy watching our parents health fail. Pace yourself and keep doing things that you enjoy. The fun things are what keep you going for the not so fun things.

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