Annaquilts

Well you sure you will be an empty nester in 2 years? I have 14 children and none of my older ones where truely gone at 17-18 years old. I am still trying to get some to move on out of the house at 20 1/2. Also you might get new and exciting things like a married child and a grand child on the way. It also seems like you have a great relationship with your daughter so I would think that will go on after she moves out.

Japonica

Oh you poor thing. First of all, at 53 you are certainly not old. I am getting ready to turn 60 and my knee and now shoulder are killing me. I have fibromyalgia and osteoarthritis. Some days are good, some days not so much. I was forced into retirement almost 4 years ago. I had a job I loved. I traveled a lot and met many wonderful people. That came to a screeching halt when the owner of the company turned everything over to his 30 year old son who thought I, at 55, was too old! I overcame that after a long struggle.

Second of all, you do not know if your daughter will leave when she is 18. Mine were with me until their 20's. Try looking at it this way: you are such a good mother that she is able (in the future) to move on with her life. That is the natural process of things. You will have plenty to keep you busy. It actually is a great time in life. My daughters are 39 and 40 and it has been wonderful watching them turn into women and live their lives. I am very proud of that. I was a single Mom for a while and they turned out just fine.

Thirdly, so you can't do some of the things you used to be able to do. Neither can I! You do eventually accept that and find other things to do.

Have a great day and just enjoy life for what it is!

bobquilt3

Oh, do I know were you're at. Been there and it's not a fun place. Consider this a big hug and lots understanding. Hang in, babe, you can make it better.
Take it as an interesting challenge. . . the beginning of a new adventure. All your life you have been, someone's daughter, someone's wife, someone's mother, someone's caregiver and the list goes on and on. Now is the time to find Margoee. If a 15 year old daughter thinks you're great, You are Fantastic!
An empty nest can be the gift of extra time. USE IT. Never dwell on what you don't have but focus on the wonderful things in your life. You will continue to be all of the above but use that bit of extra time to find you, explore your interests, find new ones. Take a class, get books from the library, learn something new, get more into your quilting for example. I did and it helped a lot.
Check that hip and get help for it. Nothing says it can't get better. . . and remember that every problem is not age-related. 20 year olds have aches and pains, but it doesn't mean life is falling apart. Even little kids forget things.
An aging parent is difficult to accept. Your mom has been a strong, look-up-to person all your life and you just can't wrap your head around anything else. (Maybe she needs to find something interesting, too.) Unfortunately, it's just a part of your life you can't change so you just have to learn to deal with it.
Margoee, I have a birthday coming up in a couple of weeks. I was "accepting" "resigned to" living in a new decade of my life. It didn't bother me too much but I finally realized there was little enthusiasm about it. So I gave myself a good boot in the ars, took a bit of my own advise and I'm on a new adventure. I signed up for a couple of sewing classes and plan to visit great-grandbabys later this year. I've never been 80 before but it's turning out to be great fun. My family took advantage of the 3 day weekend and all 15 of them flew and drove in to help me celebrate. They came here to Pa from Washington State, Iowa, Chicago and Pittsburg and it was a total surprise. One that worked.
There have been many ups and even more downs in my life, Margoee but this year is gonna' be great and with a little luck, the 80s will be a great decade.
I ramble on and on but I do want you to know that things do get better no matter bad how they may seem at the time. Now, I didn't say life got easier but with the grace of God it will get better. :-)

TexasGurl

I'm there with you, similar situation with my FIL having serious illness, he's always been active and healthy, it's so hard to see him becoming frail now ...

and DON'T assume that you WILL be an "empty nester" in 2 or 3 years !! LOL These days with the economy you never know ! Enjoy the time you have with her, it will go by in a blur I promise !
Our oldest went off to college and never moved back, except for 2 summers to work - but our youngest moved back home twice before she was 21. Once was during an internship. She's out on her own now and doing well in her new career, fortunately - as a lot of her college friends have yet to even find a job in their fields. Tough times for young people, no guarantees even with that degree in hand anymore ...

Anna.425

High five for being a great mom! It is not often that 15 year old daughters are described as the best and great. Life will change that is for sure however I think empty-nest is a fraud. The world that our kids are growing up into is more difficult than the world that we grew up into. My kids are 25 and 27 and living at home...again. They are both transitioning into their next lives. The fact that you and your daughter are still close at this point really shows that she will be close no matter what else is going on in her life.

You have time on your side right now. Dig out that list of all the things that you have put on the back burner for "someday" and brush it off. Start making a plan now so that by the time you wonderful daughter goes to college you have a way of going with the flow. My dad was looking retirement in the face after an extremely busy and committed career in emergency medicine. Years before he retired he got certified as a technical delegate for dressage horse shows (it is the rules keeper). Now that he is retired he has a second career working at the shows and just loves it.

This could even be time that you could look at some sort of career change so that physical limitations are not an issue. Use this time while she is still home to plan the next phase of your life. Not only will you be better off when DD goes to school but you will also be modeling really great things for your DD . I'd put money on the idea that she will be very proud of you.

Keep in touch.

Maybe1day

Good Gracious Me, get a grip. I have been an empty Nester, more than once with my kids being "boomerang kids" They have both left home and returned several times. And boy did I suffer the first couple of them with worry over their health and safety. One eventually left and hasn't returned the younger one who is now 29 (my DD) has returned for the third time and told me that it is way too expensive out there and she is home to stay. Her exact words to me were - Mum I know where my bread is buttered and it is here at home so I am here to stay.

The cottage which we currently live in while we build the main house and which I had planned to turn into a bed and breakfast is now going to be rented out to her.

I guess what I am trying to say is don't worry about what might be until it actually is because we don't know what is going to happen in our lives until it does so.

Maybe1day

nangars

Well don't think if your daughter turns 18 she will leave, if she is anything like my son I got him to move out 5 years ago or so and he is back home. He is now 48 and forget him ever moving. Prices are high for rent out here and I guess it is better to have a home your don't have to pay for.