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-   -   Advice please! (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/advice-please-t121503.html)

Dee G 05-07-2011 01:56 PM

If your plans for you trip are just for you, no problem your husband can still go to the birthday party. But if they are for the two of you, get together with the grandson and his parents just before his birthday (and your trip) and do something special.

Prism99 05-07-2011 02:01 PM


Originally Posted by Dee G
If your plans for you trip are just for you, no problem your husband can still go to the birthday party. But if they are for the two of you, get together with the grandson and his parents just before his birthday (and your trip) and do something special.

I think this is a great solution!

carolynbb 05-07-2011 02:02 PM

You haven't figured out how to be two places at once??

jitkaau 05-08-2011 03:12 AM

Send an inability with the explanation that this arrangement was made before you received the invitation, I always honour the first invitation, regardless of what comes up later as I consider it impolite to change for the "better offer". Others will understand this commitment as well. Send a card and present and visit when you get back.

teacherbailey 05-08-2011 04:46 AM


Originally Posted by QuiltnCowgirl
My thought is that your plans have been made long before the invitation was received. Therefore, your husband should graciously represent both of you at his grandson's party, supportively explaining that you had a trip planned a year ahead that could not be cancelled. And, you should make plans to do something just from you to the grandson as a token gesture of good-will.

Just what I would do...take what works for you & leave the rest.

I couldn't have said it better. They know when the birthday is so they can look at a calendar and decide when to celebrate early enough for others to work around it. My grandsons birthdays are two consecutive days (born two years apart.) The first birthday is celebrated the weekend before and the second birthday is celebrated the weekend after. I can predict until they are grown when the parties are and not make other plans.....

mic-pa 05-08-2011 04:58 AM

Go with your plans, the 2 yr old will never remember anyway. It happened to me just this weekend. I explained I had made other plans a yr. ahead of time and reserations were made. I went.

sall 05-08-2011 05:10 AM

Stick with your plans. As said before the child will not remember that you were not there, certainly not at two years of age. My four year old grandaughter has her birthday party next weekend, and I will not be there. Firstly it is a bit too far, and secondly my daughter realises that with lots of four year olds running around, it is a bit too much for nanna's. her other grandparents will also not be there even though they do not live so far, but because it is a bit too much. I went visiting last week instead.

May in Jersey 05-08-2011 05:44 AM

With 9 grandkids it is impossible to be at every birthday party, especially since most parties weren't planned well in advance. DH and I take the birthday grandkid out for lunch and shopping, that way if we had to miss the party we still did something special for their birthday. Grandkids range from 11 to 28 so it's usually lunch or dinner and a check or gift card and they do their own shopping now.

Have to start the cycle over again as our first great grandchild is expected to arrive end of August.

Lori S 05-08-2011 06:02 AM

Go with your plans! As stated the child will not remember! If anyone has hurt feelings it will be the parents , and they should have said something much earlier. Someday the parents will be in the same situation.
I sometimes have this issue with family "planning" things and giving limited notice. As none of my family lives within 600 miles . It poses a significant problem to travel on "limited"notice. I had to give up the guilt or learn to live on someone elses schedule. Guess which one I chose! I'm much happier living my life.

happymrs 05-08-2011 06:12 AM

Go, as planned! The party might be full of little ones, that would drive you crazy anyway! Alot times, we get invited, cause we are family, & they don't want you to feel leftout. So, give him a present early, & go on your planned weekend, they will understand, or, get over it, right!


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