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Thread: Advice please!

  1. #1
    Senior Member Antdebby1's Avatar
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    Today, my husband and I got an invitation to his 2 yr old grandsons birthday party. I made plans to go out of town the weekend of June 10-12. I've had these plans for a year.

    You guessed it! The birthday party is Sat. 6/11.

    I'm torn on what to do. Any thoughts?

    Thanks,
    Debby

  2. #2
    Super Member Lv2sew2011's Avatar
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    Well, my children wait until the last minute to do anything no advance notice, so if I have something already plan, I just tell them, sorry send a card/gift, and maybe will be able to atend next year! LOL

  3. #3
    Super Member QuiltnCowgirl's Avatar
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    My thought is that your plans have been made long before the invitation was received. Therefore, your husband should graciously represent both of you at his grandson's party, supportively explaining that you had a trip planned a year ahead that could not be cancelled. And, you should make plans to do something just from you to the grandson as a token gesture of good-will.

    Just what I would do...take what works for you & leave the rest.

  4. #4
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    I feel your pain..we go through this several times a year. I figure after all these years family/friends know we try to make all BD's, etc; however, there are so many now and not all plan ahead of time like we do. I send a gift and enjoy my trip!

  5. #5
    Super Member hobo2000's Avatar
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    1sr Birthdays I never miss, after that, if I can make it, if not, I send a super fantastic (to a kid) gift with lots of little packages to open and candy, candy, candy. I also call during the party to let everyone know I wish I could be there.

  6. #6
    Super Member Murphy's Avatar
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    Send a card and do what you have already planned to do.

  7. #7
    Super Member KarenK's Avatar
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    Ask your husband to deliver the gift from both of you.
    Carry out your plans you made a year ago.

  8. #8
    Senior Member clynns's Avatar
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    Send a gift along with him. Call the child to wish them a Happy Birthday but Grandma had plans for a long time. Then go enjoy yourself.

  9. #9
    Senior Member MissSandra's Avatar
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    I am quite a distance from my gds and we webcam its great. perhaps your family can let you lurk if they have one.
    if not threw the whole party but perhaps for a bit threw the day.
    Sandra

  10. #10
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    you did not say if your out of town plans were for you and hubby to have a get a way weekend..if so..then the 2 yr old will get over it..he actually won't even miss you or remember the party, so it is the parents who will have to understand...

  11. #11
    Super Member Dee G's Avatar
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    If your plans for you trip are just for you, no problem your husband can still go to the birthday party. But if they are for the two of you, get together with the grandson and his parents just before his birthday (and your trip) and do something special.

  12. #12
    Power Poster Prism99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dee G
    If your plans for you trip are just for you, no problem your husband can still go to the birthday party. But if they are for the two of you, get together with the grandson and his parents just before his birthday (and your trip) and do something special.
    I think this is a great solution!

  13. #13
    Senior Member carolynbb's Avatar
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    You haven't figured out how to be two places at once??

  14. #14
    Super Member jitkaau's Avatar
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    Send an inability with the explanation that this arrangement was made before you received the invitation, I always honour the first invitation, regardless of what comes up later as I consider it impolite to change for the "better offer". Others will understand this commitment as well. Send a card and present and visit when you get back.

  15. #15
    Super Member teacherbailey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by QuiltnCowgirl
    My thought is that your plans have been made long before the invitation was received. Therefore, your husband should graciously represent both of you at his grandson's party, supportively explaining that you had a trip planned a year ahead that could not be cancelled. And, you should make plans to do something just from you to the grandson as a token gesture of good-will.

    Just what I would do...take what works for you & leave the rest.
    I couldn't have said it better. They know when the birthday is so they can look at a calendar and decide when to celebrate early enough for others to work around it. My grandsons birthdays are two consecutive days (born two years apart.) The first birthday is celebrated the weekend before and the second birthday is celebrated the weekend after. I can predict until they are grown when the parties are and not make other plans.....

  16. #16
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    Go with your plans, the 2 yr old will never remember anyway. It happened to me just this weekend. I explained I had made other plans a yr. ahead of time and reserations were made. I went.

  17. #17
    Senior Member sall's Avatar
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    Stick with your plans. As said before the child will not remember that you were not there, certainly not at two years of age. My four year old grandaughter has her birthday party next weekend, and I will not be there. Firstly it is a bit too far, and secondly my daughter realises that with lots of four year olds running around, it is a bit too much for nanna's. her other grandparents will also not be there even though they do not live so far, but because it is a bit too much. I went visiting last week instead.

  18. #18
    Super Member May in Jersey's Avatar
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    With 9 grandkids it is impossible to be at every birthday party, especially since most parties weren't planned well in advance. DH and I take the birthday grandkid out for lunch and shopping, that way if we had to miss the party we still did something special for their birthday. Grandkids range from 11 to 28 so it's usually lunch or dinner and a check or gift card and they do their own shopping now.

    Have to start the cycle over again as our first great grandchild is expected to arrive end of August.

  19. #19
    Super Member Lori S's Avatar
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    Go with your plans! As stated the child will not remember! If anyone has hurt feelings it will be the parents , and they should have said something much earlier. Someday the parents will be in the same situation.
    I sometimes have this issue with family "planning" things and giving limited notice. As none of my family lives within 600 miles . It poses a significant problem to travel on "limited"notice. I had to give up the guilt or learn to live on someone elses schedule. Guess which one I chose! I'm much happier living my life.

  20. #20
    Super Member happymrs's Avatar
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    Go, as planned! The party might be full of little ones, that would drive you crazy anyway! Alot times, we get invited, cause we are family, & they don't want you to feel leftout. So, give him a present early, & go on your planned weekend, they will understand, or, get over it, right!

  21. #21
    llcathey's Avatar
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    You made your plans a long time ago, grandson won't even remember if your there or not, hubby can stand in for you
    kids should know to give notice we do have a life which they tend to forget ,,,,

  22. #22
    Senior Member arimuse's Avatar
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    maybe you can make a little treat (cupcakes) and spend a day w/ him early, call it grammas special day with....day (not a bd, if hes so little it might confuse him). that way he can feel hes special and you can get some pics and time w/ him. Its hard to break plans you had for a yr, sharet

  23. #23
    Senior Member Gabrielle's Mimi's Avatar
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    Don't you just love this Board? All the good advice on so many topics!

  24. #24
    Super Member BettyGee's Avatar
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    I'd stay with the year long plans. A two year old will not be hurt by your absence. Hope that doesn't sound cold hearted, but I remember throwing a big party for my son's first birthday and he was so little he had no idea what was going on. Plus he got so tired of all the excitement he just fell asleep in his high chair with cake on his face. At those young ages the parties are for the parents not the children.

  25. #25
    Super Member Chasing Hawk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BettyGee
    I'd stay with the year long plans. A two year old will not be hurt by your absence. Hope that doesn't sound cold hearted, but I remember throwing a big party for my son's first birthday and he was so little he had no idea what was going on. Plus he got so tired of all the excitement he just fell asleep in his high chair with cake on his face. At those young ages the parties are for the parents not the children.
    My thoughts exactly.

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