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-   -   Deepest Apologies (https://www.quiltingboard.com/general-chit-chat-non-quilting-talk-f7/deepest-apologies-t206018.html)

sew_Tracy 11-15-2012 05:32 PM


Originally Posted by barri1 (Post 5659721)
I ran into the nightmare from Hell on this board. I mentioned that I was interested in going to the quilt show in Lancater. I should've picked up the signals in the PM's.. but I'm a bit trusting.. Anyway, I drove, and she really had mental issues. I figured that we had a bit in common, as she is a nurse, and I am in family practice.. She was retired, and as we were driving, I kept thinking how was she able to get through nursing school.. Life goes on.. I am planning on getting together with two members for a trip to a fabric store, and lunch.. I can't wait.. I also went to the house of another member a couple of times, and could've sat, and talked with her, and her husband for hours. They are the most wonderful people. I look forward to taking them out to eat, and hang out with them.. I owe them.. She advertised that she had old quilting magazines that she was throwing out..

I can understand that. I am also trusting. I am not terribly personally social either, but after my meeting with another member from here I warmed up to it. Was nothing but positive. Keep in mind these are folks I hve been chatting with in the chat room for QB since the beginning.

Sheepshed 11-15-2012 05:36 PM

Missus well...its possible the problem isnt on your end. Sometimes people act aggressively to get email addresses, home addresses, and even PHONE numbers... but for particular reasons, might fear one person.. now... you are SO nice and honest.. that could scare some people away..... Its not that hard to meet up with a person... public place, lots of people around.. take it as it comes. I think its just *that person*..... I know someone who only met people bearing a half ton of fabric from cleaning out a stash... so to speak LOLOL I dont think its you... hugs :)

QuiltE 11-15-2012 06:09 PM


Originally Posted by Missus Fear (Post 5659575)
I don't understand the reference to posting 14 times QuiltE. You can say it, haha, get that all the time. My last name is Fear. I met another QB member, we met at the park. We had a lot of fun. Not a big deal. I respect the other person's privacy. Just had seen that she had met with other QB members and thought it might be fun. Was just looking for perspective. Clearly you perceive me as a threat for only posting 14 times and my last name is Fear. Please check again. That is my blog entry count.

First of all, my apologies for noting 14 as your posts, not your blog count.
Although someone else did mention your "newness" to the QB could be a concern to some.
I did NOT say I saw you as a threat ... what I did say was that it would be one of the things that would make me slow down before I gave a resounding YES to a GTG.

I knew I should not have mentioned your screen name, and did put a cautionary comment there.
Perhaps you had shared that with this other person? Perhaps not?
And again, I did NOT say it would hold me back.
Rather that it may have been a red flag to this other person and/or others.

The thing to remember that when online, we really don't know WHO is at the other end.
Safety and precautions are ever so important in this modern-big-bad-modern-world of cyberspace.
We all hear stories all the time of meet-ups from the web that go wrong.
Just because someone is on the QB does not mean they are totally safe.

And as some have pointed out, not everyone is as outgoing and willing to GTG as you are.

In the end, don't fret over it ... move on and sure enough you'll find someone else who is interested in meeting you IRL!!!

Good Luck!

PS ... remember, I have met others from QB, so while I am cautious, I am not against doing so.

ging10ging 11-15-2012 06:19 PM

I wouldn't mind meeting someone in a public place for coffee but in today's day and age I think we all feel we need to be more careful where we go and who we meet since you really don't know who you are meeting up with and maybe there a little older and a little nervous. I think today people are not so trusting as we used to be such a shame but times are really different so I wouldn't take it personally. Sue

sew_Tracy 11-15-2012 06:26 PM

Of course. Have not taken it personally, was simply doing a sort of survey to see how other people felt.

QuiltE, sure I shared and always share with others as I most instantly regretting choosing my last name as a username and have requested a change due to the confusion and negative connotation of my last name. You are so right. And how do I know that this other person is safe? LOLOL...funny, all of this!

I felt bad that I pushed a meeting and posted so for reality check.

Karen1956 11-16-2012 04:03 AM

Here's one for you. Several years ago, i was part of a BB dedicated to decorating. There were about 30 of us and we'd share each others tears, laughter, trials, joys and sadness. We decided after a couple of years that we should all get together to meet. So, we planned to meet in Denver. About 20 of us from all over the United States booked flights and a hotel. Our husbands were leery, our friends were appalled, our kids had thought we went off our nut.

However, we had SOOO much fun that weekend!! We laughed ourselves silly, the hotel LOVED us and we got to know each other in person. One gal flew in from South Carolina and the one woman who lived in Denver (and now my bestest friend in the whole world) and I went to the airport to pick her up. As everyone was deboarding the plane, they kept saying - she's back there, she's coming and they were all laughing. One businessman stopped and said, "You ladies are going to have the time of your life with that livewire." We sure did!! She is now my other bestest friend in the whole world!! Out of that one trip, I got TWO "sisters of my heart, if not my blood".

kydeb 11-16-2012 06:56 AM

Interesting topic! I can see it from both sides. I'm really an introvert although most people wouldn't believe me if I told them that! I retired as a Division Director, have held (and still do hold) offices on boards, and can handle teaching and speaking in front of large groups - even have been the keynote speaker at several events. However, THAT is not the real me! I can do those things because I force myself to do them. I really prefer solitude - quilting or reading particularly. I struggle with socially polite conversation and prefer my alone time. I "socialize" on here and enjoy it but online and in person are too entirely different animals. I would advise to offer but not to push if you want to meet outside of online. The reasons someone may not want to could be as varied as we are. I love that this board gives those that don't desire the in-person social interaction an outlet for conversation and friendship. Even an introvert values friendships and having someone there that will listen :)

mhansen6 11-16-2012 07:04 AM

The ladies in our quilt group met through this board. We saw from our profiles that we were all in the same area, set a date to meet as a group and we have been having fun ever since.

But I would advice not to push your friend. Online friends are nice to have too.

Roberta 11-16-2012 07:59 AM

I met the wonderful woman who got me quilting by donation bags of scrap materials at a local shopping mall. After that we made arrangements to meet at the little lunch counter they used to have a Marden's in Waterville, Me.

I think a neutral place is always a good idea

wendiq 11-16-2012 08:06 AM

I met a lady on this board ten years ago. She had visited as "a guest", said she lived in an area that I knew was close to me. I messaged her, we met for coffee and have been good friends ever since. I no longer live close to her, but we are close enough to meet in a "middle spot" every six weeks for lunch.......We were just lucky as we both "clicked". If you don't, no biggies, but nice when you do.


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