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Thread: What to do now?

  1. #1
    Senior Member stpatmom's Avatar
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    My daughter had a birthday 3 weeks ago. My husband and I told her she could have an Ipod touch for her birthday as long as I could have her other Ipod. We went to my son's tutor's house, McDonald's and then CVS. She can't find her Ipod touch now. I was extremely upset with her and told her not to tell her dad until I wasn't home because if she thought I reacted badly, I know her dad will be worse. Now I'm feeling guilty and don't know what to do. My sister owes me some money from a sewing machine she bought from me. I've thought about asking her for the money if she has it to replace the itouch. Should I do this or let her suffer the consequences and have no Ipod? I just don't know......

  2. #2
    Senior Member EllaBud's Avatar
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    How old is she? I assumed that if she's old enough for an Ipod Touch that she should be responsible for it. NO way would I go and get her another one!! If you do, then you are condoning her irresponsibility. How is she going to learn that there are consequences in life based on the decisions we make. She made her decision by leaving somewhere that she shouldn't have. Let her live with not having an Ipod Touch. I never had one when I was growing up and I'm not bothered by it one bit.

  3. #3
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    An ITouch is very expensive. I can see your point. Is your DD use to carrying a cell phone and keeping up with it? If so then she was careless and so lost her very expensive birthday present. I know what you are feeling about this. My two girls would lose expensive items and I felt like money was wasted. But I realized my money was spent, it wasn't coming back regardless if they hadn't lost the item. They were the ones to lose the enjoyment of the item and knowing their carelessness was the reason.

  4. #4
    Super Member Gramof6's Avatar
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    Ohhhhhh. That is a toughie Mom. How old is your DD? I see how you want to avoid turmoil and try to replace it for her. Yet can you always do that throughout her life? I don't know. A tough one for sure. Since it was for her Bday it makes it even more sad for her. But? Where is the fine line we parents have to draw in order to teach responsability? I am so glad I don't have to make this decision. I feel for you. Been there & done this with 4 in the past & it was not all fun! Babies should have been born with instruction manuals for the parents. LOL

  5. #5
    Senior Member stpatmom's Avatar
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    I know you're right. I also know that if it were me, my parents would never have given me another one. Hopefully, she left it at the tutor's house. I still need to call her tomorrow along with the other two places. Hopefully, she just left it at the house, if not, I'm praying for good samaritans to have turned it in.

    I just feel badly for her.....I'm also not looking forward to her telling her dad. I think I just feel guilty for getting that upset. Now I feel as though I was saying the $ spent was more important than anything. I guess I just need help sticking to my guns!

  6. #6
    Senior Member stpatmom's Avatar
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    How am I ever going to survive them being teenagers? She is only 11, but never had an issue with the regular Ipod or her nintendo ds. UUUGGGHHHH!!! I can't even sleep tonight because of this!!!

  7. #7
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    When my teens asked for something that is costly, we give them the money to buy it. Funny how what they had to have suddenly wasn't that important. A less costly one would do or they didn't want it anymore. Seems when the item is given, the actual value is lost but if they spend actual money that is theirs, it's the most valuable thing ever. Just remember to not battle over the small stuff. Have several big rules and not a lot of little rules. I could care less how long my teens talked on the phone after going to bed (a little rule). They still had to get up early, make good grades and act civil the next day (big rule). It wasn't long before they figured out sleep was more important then any phone call. I saved tons of battling by not having a little rule to argue over them breaking.

  8. #8
    CAROLJ's Avatar
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    It was her responsibility not yours. It is a good lesson to learn while she is young. Hang in there mom, you'll do the right thing.

  9. #9
    ForestHobbit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stpatmom
    I know you're right. I also know that if it were me, my parents would never have given me another one. Hopefully, she left it at the tutor's house. I still need to call her tomorrow along with the other two places. Hopefully, she just left it at the house, if not, I'm praying for good samaritans to have turned it in.

    I just feel badly for her.....I'm also not looking forward to her telling her dad. I think I just feel guilty for getting that upset. Now I feel as though I was saying the $ spent was more important than anything. I guess I just need help sticking to my guns!
    Perhaps if DD is old enough for an iPOD Touch she is old enough to call the places where she may have left it herself. I know that may sound harsh, but it is a lesson in taking responsibility and living with the consequences. One benefit of doing it for herself is that she learns how to take the next step. A good learning experience for life.

    BTW my children learned, as they grew, how to cook, launder their own clothes, make their own appointments, etc. I was amazed when, as adults, they were grateful for the lessons. They said that their friends all had to go home to Mom because they hadn't learned how to take care of themselves before they left home.

  10. #10
    ForestHobbit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BellaBoo
    When my teens asked for something that is costly, we give them the money to buy it. Funny how what they had to have suddenly wasn't that important. A less costly one would do or they didn't want it anymore. Seems when the item is given, the actual value is lost but if they spend actual money that is theirs, it's the most valuable thing ever. Just remember to not battle over the small stuff. Have several big rules and not a lot of little rules. I could care less how long my teens talked on the phone after going to bed (a little rule). They still had to get up early, make good grades and act civil the next day (big rule). It wasn't long before they figured out sleep was more important then any phone call. I saved tons of battling by not having a little rule to argue over them breaking.
    Absolutely! Do we want to win battles or wars. I am willing to lose a small battle and win the war.

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