For when people ask to borrow something?
#31
With me people get one chance to borrow and return. After that , FUHGEDDABOUTIT!!
I had one friend who borrowed a book, asked if she could loan it to her brother in Alaska (it was about Alaska), I said OK, and I DID get it back. So it can be done!
I find when you don't want to do something, like loan things out, pretend (if you have to) that you have had so many bad experiences in the past that you just never do it anymore. People can try to argue with you but they can't tell you you did not have bad experiences. Or if they say, "Well, I won't be like that..." answer, that is what they ALL said.
I had one friend who borrowed a book, asked if she could loan it to her brother in Alaska (it was about Alaska), I said OK, and I DID get it back. So it can be done!
I find when you don't want to do something, like loan things out, pretend (if you have to) that you have had so many bad experiences in the past that you just never do it anymore. People can try to argue with you but they can't tell you you did not have bad experiences. Or if they say, "Well, I won't be like that..." answer, that is what they ALL said.
#32
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 865
We had a new neighbor who asked to borrow our brand new shiny red wheelbarrow. I had been putting an old blanket in the bottom to keep it nice, but DH loaned it out. The neighbor used it to clear concrete and other junk from his yard and dump it illegally in the conservation area across the street, thus making us accessories to a misdemeanor. He also dumped his wasted food there, in that lovely previously pristine spot. Plus, the wheelbarrow was returned all dented and with the paint scratched off. It just wasn't worth it to me to do a favor for this neighbor again. He kept asking, though, and got quite insistent.
#33
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 31
My best friend's husband had a neighbor ask him one time if he could borrow his garden tiller. He didn't even have it out of the box yet! His reply? "Don't ask to borrow my tiller and I won't ask to borrow your wife." The look on the other guys face was priceless! And he never asked to borrow anything again.
#35
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Homosassa, FL
Posts: 2,267
I learned the hard way, if you don't lend something you want or want back, you don't have hard feelings when you tell borrower I LOANED it to you and need it back now. I too was raised if you borrow something, give it back same condition it was in, and today most people seem clueless to that fact.
#36
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Homosassa, FL
Posts: 2,267
In Nov I bought a really neat book at the LQS full of great quick little projects. I also had a few pages of holiday recipes and decorating ideas in it that I had picked up at the LQS, as well. Took it to school to show to a friend at lunch. (Yes...my name was on the front). It traveled among several teachers. Finally, two or three weeks later I tracked it to a teacher who said she took it home to show her mother. I never did get it back. Saddest part...I took it in the day after I had purchased it. Grrrrr
#38
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dallas area, Texas, USA
Posts: 3,050
Since there are so many unpleasant experiences listed, I thought I'd add that I have a close friend with whom I cheerfully exchange books several times a year, and we both return them faithfully. I have known her since 1970, longer than I've known my husband.
It's apparently just too easy for some people to ignore property rights. I wouldn't even consider borrowing something that I wouldn't be able to replace if it gets damaged or lost.
We all need to be braver about the business of not wanting to offend people who have clearly not been too worried about offending us. It should not be that difficult to say, "Sorry, no." You don't owe anyone a loan or an explanation. In fact, if it's a previous offender, you owe it to yourself to mention that they didn't return or damaged the last thing they borrowed. Maybe they'll suddenly remember where it is.
It's apparently just too easy for some people to ignore property rights. I wouldn't even consider borrowing something that I wouldn't be able to replace if it gets damaged or lost.
We all need to be braver about the business of not wanting to offend people who have clearly not been too worried about offending us. It should not be that difficult to say, "Sorry, no." You don't owe anyone a loan or an explanation. In fact, if it's a previous offender, you owe it to yourself to mention that they didn't return or damaged the last thing they borrowed. Maybe they'll suddenly remember where it is.
#40
A special Aunt of mine used to say "Don't ever loan something you can't do without and be grateful when it's returned." I have never sued anyone. But it is weird, whenever my kids damaged anything at someones house, we always paid for repairs or replacement. But, it seems whenever anyone kids did something at our house we would be lucky to get an apology. Go figure.
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