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Thread: How would you react?

  1. #11
    Junior Member imaquilter's Avatar
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    This may sound very selfish on my part but, this is exactly the reason I DO NOT give out very many quilts. The only ones I have given out are to two people with new babies and 3 to my mother and 1 to my sister. I have however made over 60. Yes, I have kept the other 54 to myself. I have spent so much money and time on them that I could not bear to see them abused.

    I would have reacted the same way you do.

  2. #12
    Moderator tlrnhi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by imaquilter
    This may sound very selfish on my part but, this is exactly the reason I DO NOT give out very many quilts. The only ones I have given out are to two people with new babies and 3 to my mother and 1 to my sister. I have however made over 60. Yes, I have kept the other 54 to myself. I have spent so much money and time on them that I could not bear to see them abused.

    I would have reacted the same way you do.
    I probably would have had a cow too! But like others, not have said anything or I would have lost the person as a friend. Sometimes my mouth engages before my brain.
    Plus, like imaquilter says......money and time........something you really cannot replace.
    With that said...IF someone is wanting a quilt and I know their lifestyle and KNOW they will take care of it, I will go the extra mile to get BETTER quality fabric for them and take a little more time. For those that don't really take care of their things,,,,well...$1 fabric, here I come, along with the most simplest pattern.
    I have given away ALL of my quilts and the people who have recieved them have cherished them dearly. I have, however, included Care Instructions with some of them, as a "just in case".

    But, with your quilt...I think it's a lesson learned. Just horrible what they have done, I, for one would LOVE to have that fabric you used.....I love kitty fabric!!

  3. #13
    Super Member Chele's Avatar
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    I say "lighten up!" Do you think the quilters long before us worried if their quilts were being used "properly?" No, the quilts they crafted were meant to be useful and functional. If you treasure a specific quilt, KEEP IT! Cherish it and only display it on rainy day! Keep it tucked in a closet so your kids sell it for $5 when you're gone. I'm being a bit cynical, but I've actually been to estate sales and bought gorgeous, unused quilts for $5! And I bet that long gone quilt maker is happy I got that quilt! At least it went to a true fan.

    I love quilting and I know the time and effort it takes to make a quilt. Not to mention the money involved. But remember, our friends and family don't get it! Buy them a cheapie quilt at a discount store. You'll be spreading "the quilt word" without stressing yourself out. If the dog lays on it, you'll know that pup has good taste in bedding! Life is too short not to use the good china or quilts!

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chele
    I say "lighten up!" Do you think the quilters long before us worried if their quilts were being used "properly?" No, the quilts they crafted were meant to be useful and functional. If you treasure a specific quilt, KEEP IT! Cherish it and only display it on rainy day! Keep it tucked in a closet so your kids sell it for $5 when you're gone. !
    you know, you are absolutely right :P

    Brings to mind when my hubby and I went to check out a new quilt shop (yes, he TAKES me to quilt shops... and Joanns.... and Hancocks..... and...... :mrgreen: )...
    there was an absolutely GORGEOUS dahlia quilt top 'artfully arranged' and I mentioned it... the owner of the shop said these adult children of the woman who made the quilts (she had more) came in and asked her did she want to buy these quilts that their mother had made..... because if she didn't want them, they were going to BURN them because they all used blankets and had no need for the quilts.....
    yep, tada... you made me feel better in one fell swoop! :wink:

  5. #15

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    i use to tell my hus. thatbefore i give anybody one of my quilts they need to fill out a application. you know just to be sure it is going to a good home. that dogs or cat or horse doesn't tear it up. or have grape juice all over it. i'm sure ya'll understand. my sis. did the same to me ,her dog had puppies on the quilt i gave to my neice , then she threw it away. now that hurt needless to say she never got another quilt from me. only gift cards.

  6. #16
    lisae's Avatar
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    You know, I would be happy she is using the quilt. I make quilts to be used and am happy when I see people using my quilts. I like it when quilts get used so much they are worn out. Exactly why I made it.

    I have had the experience of going to a flea market and seeing a quilt I made as a special order for someone being used as a ground cloth. I was upset, but decided that they had paid for it.

  7. #17
    nel
    nel is offline

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    I made a quilt for my daughter's dance teacher who we have known for 10 years. She is known for never saying thank you or even telling her dancers if she doesn't care for the gift. I figured by making her a quilt with colors from her home, she would react differently and really appreciate everything she has done for my daughter. Well, her response was NOTHING!!! Never a thank you note, email, or any response of any kind. I evn asked her if she received the quilt and she replied that it was still in her car!!! Who does that?

    In contrast, I gave a quilt to a couple for their wedding shower, and she called me that afternoon to express how grateful she was. She sent a note of thanks, and now I am teaching her to make quilts for her friends and family.

    So, when I give a quilt to someone now, I give it because it gives me pleasure to do something for someone else. If they don't appreciate it is okay because I know my gift came from my heart!!

  8. #18
    reva's Avatar
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    Nel,

    You hit the nail on the head - give it and let them appreciate it or not - the fun was in the making. We have a friend who gives, from her heart, but almost always lays claim to the gift after it's given - by telling us what we can/cannot do with it. OR she constantly reminds us it's from her... I love quilting so much that I want to give away quilts to everybody... I will give to whom I want to and sell to the others. I know some people are offended because I give to some and not them, but I want to do it because I want to not because I feel like I should. If I give a quilt I hope the recipient will use it - hopefully not as a dog blanket, but if that's what they choose... :( ok.

  9. #19
    Super Member DA Mayer's Avatar
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    My mother and I have both made quilts for my sons and nephews, They have used them on their beds, took them camping, moved with them wherever they went and used them until they fell apart, that is how much they loved and appreciated them. I guess I feel better knowing my quilt is used instead of just displayed, I think that is why I have really never made a wallhanging quilt. We received a double knit quilt for our wedding and have used it for our picnics, (usually everyday when my children were young) and it reminded me of our good friends that gave it to us. I sure hope she wasn't upset about us using it, because to this day it is 'the blanket' and I hope our grandchildren will be able to use it.
    I don't mean to put down yuor feelings, because anyone would feel very disappointed to see their hard work used that way. I wouldn't let it ruin my friendship because those are so much harder work than putting your love into a quilt. Denise

  10. #20
    Junior Member fabuchicki's Avatar
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    I can understand your feelings but once a gift is given you must let it go in your heart. Think of how you've used the things that people have given you. We got a handmade quilt for our wedding (long before I was a quilter) and used it for several years. Then we got a king size bed and now it is stuffed in a hope chest and only comes out when company comes. Also, someone hand quilted a baby blanket for my daughter and it was stuffed away for a while but has recently experienced a renaissance and is on her bed again. The worst was when she was 4 and cut up a blanket knitted for her by her now deceased grandma. Luckily I was able to have it repaired but I haven't given it back to her yet (she's 7).

    In fact even a pottery piece that I bought myself on my honeymoon and love I found in a seldom used cabinet the other day. For now it just doesn't fit anywhere but maybe one day it will.

    The funniest was my best friend from growing up. I had given her a raku vase for her wedding. Since we were childhood friends I really misjudged her taste. She had it prominently displayed when we visited but I have a feeling that she stuffed it in the attic after we left because it really didn't fit in with the rest of her decor. What's better? Pretend to like something or to be actually using it and making it a part of their lives?

    Life is too short and much of our junk is going to outlive us anyway. Enjoy the fact that they are USING your blanket and it is serving a purpose in the world. and P.S. it's NOT because your stippling wasn't good enough or because a nine patch isn't hard enough ... they just needed something to cover the couch and your thoughtful gift was handy and nice to look at.

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