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Thread: How would you react?

  1. #26
    reva's Avatar
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    Barb,

    You make quilts for family reunions??? What is done with them? How is it determined who gets it? Sounds interesting!!

  2. #27
    Power Poster sandpat's Avatar
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    I have to agree with the ones who say they make quilts to be used. I donate quilts to Project Linus and I imagine each one being chewed on by some child who needs to do that. In fact, I truly hope that each one of my quilts ends up in tattered rags...that way, I know it provided the comfort it needed to when it needed to.

    Now I'll agree that this situation is a little different, however..your friend is using the quilt you gave them. Who are we to say how anyone can "use" the gifts we give them....afterall....we did give it away ...and you probably hoped she would use & enjoy it, not put it away in a closet right?

  3. #28
    Super Member Barbm's Avatar
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    We do the quilt as a raffle. I also have a very talented artist cousin who does a painting every year. We do other baskets, etc. too. The quilt and painting are 1 raffle. It is $10 and you are only allowed to buy 1 ticket. The other raffles- baskets, etc. are $1.00 a ticket and you can buy as many as you want. For the Ide reunion (my Gram's ancestors who settled this area back in the 1700's) it raises about $500 dollars for all the raffles. For my Mom's side of the family- a smal group of about 20 to 30, it raises about $150. For Dad's side of the family we raise about $300.

    The money is used to pay for the facility if it is rented, the meat and drink, paper products. We all bring a dish to share. We have games and prizes but the highlight of the day is the raffle. Every year the reunions grow. I'm on the committee for Dad's side and we do a theme and give out silly prizes. Last year was luau and we all dressed up. This year is fiesta and we are busy finding decorations and food ideas. Dad's side fo the family reunion is held at my house, we have a pavilion and tons of parking (we have 34 acres) and I have seating for 55. This year we are adding camping.

  4. #29
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    Can I be part of your family?? :D

    Sounds like a whole lot more fun than one of my family's reunions.. where the oldest generation is still dragging up stuff from THEIR childhood to fight about - we're talking 80-85 YEARS AGO


  5. #30
    reva's Avatar
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    Sounds like fun reunions... just an aside - you may want to check Oriental Trading for inexpensive decorations... tons of them to choose from. Sounds like a raffle is a good way to raise some money!! Love the idea!!

  6. #31
    Super Member Barbm's Avatar
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    Janeen- come on over! I have 5 biological sisters, but I can always use another one. (None of them quilt!)

    My sister was showing me the O.T. catalog. Since I make the quilt I try to stay away from purchasing anything else, but I like the idea of chili peppers lights.

    The quilt this year is a throw (yes, I say that every year and it grows, last year was a queen size). I usually purchase a pattern desinged by a local designer (Endless Mountain Quiltworks in Tunkhannock PA) and make it colors that anyone would like. This year is called Polka Party, a square in a square. My sister helped me pick the fabric- good thing as I would never pick orange and purple. But we wanted fun colors. (and my husband plays the accordian- tons of polkas)

    I haven't really picked quilt patterns for the other 2 reunions. I was thinking of the Block of the Month we are doing here as a sampler for Mom's reunion and a "crumb" quilt (now that I know what it is :) ) for the Ide reunion since that's where the quilt police hang out.

    I am learning from this site!

  7. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chele
    I say "lighten up!" Do you think the quilters long before us worried if their quilts were being used "properly?" No, the quilts they crafted were meant to be useful and functional. If you treasure a specific quilt, KEEP IT! Cherish it and only display it on rainy day! Keep it tucked in a closet so your kids sell it for $5 when you're gone. I'm being a bit cynical, but I've actually been to estate sales and bought gorgeous, unused quilts for $5! And I bet that long gone quilt maker is happy I got that quilt! At least it went to a true fan.

    I love quilting and I know the time and effort it takes to make a quilt. Not to mention the money involved. But remember, our friends and family don't get it! Buy them a cheapie quilt at a discount store. You'll be spreading "the quilt word" without stressing yourself out. If the dog lays on it, you'll know that pup has good taste in bedding! Life is too short not to use the good china or quilts!
    I say amen to that! It's true, my grandmas and great great grandma's and so on made quilts all of the time, it was ridiculous how many quilts they could make in a little amount of time. They were all gorgeous too. They treasured them and were proud of them I'm sure but they were made to be used. I agree that a quilt is meant to be used unless you really really want the person to cherish it, then that is different. I have many quilts that have been made and given to me and right now, I only have the one I made on the bed because it's Spring and the dogs are shedding more and they are inside. So, all of my treasured quilts go into the closet until the dogs go back outside. My MIL made me and my husband a wedding quilt that was handsewn and hand embroidered with our names and the wedding date. I don't think that will ever go on my bed...maybe not even for 50 years b/c I treasure from the bottom of my heart but It will be in a display case one of these days around the house...as soon as we get one made. lol.

  8. #33
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    Well, here I am a quilter and I just threw out the most gosh ugly quilt I ever saw. It was made by my husband's mother who is not know for her sewing skills or decorating. It's not in the trash, it's in the garage to be used to cover some of our plants during the rare frosts which can happen in our gulf coast area. For TEN YEARS, it stayed in my cedar chest and I did have to reach the point of needing room for other things. Since she does love quilts my granddaughter and I made a quilt for her, and recently when we spent a week with her we made another quilt for her. She was so very happy to have her great granddaughter working with her on a quilt. The granddaughter even showed/taught her how to match seams and sew a 1/4 inch seam. She was not insulted and even took her turn at the sewing machine and she did follow her great granddaughter's instructions. She is very proud of these quilts and never fails to metion how she has kept one on her bed and sleeps under it at night. Thank goodness she has never asked about the quilt we just sent to the garage.

  9. #34
    Super Member wraez's Avatar
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    Boy this is the dilemma when we put so much of our heart and soul into a quilt, not to mention the time and $

    Skeat, I like the idea of the cookies and best of all the letter of care instructions... maybe include a little ditty about the 'heart, soul, time' etc :D cuz mentioning the $ might be considered tacky :shock:

    Chele and imaquilter had good thoughts too.

    :roll: I have to admit that b4 I became a quilter myself, I thought of quilts as being blankets from grandmas... don't hit me!! So I probably would have been guilty of hurting someone's feelings had I been given a quilt :!: It is a matter of education.

    So, if any of you give an 'heirloom' quilt for a wedding gift etc, be sure to include the value of the quilt, even if it is sentimental value! Something similar to what OnTheGo mentioned... I read in a quilt magazine a few years ago that a woman gave a beautiful heirloom quilt to her son and dil as a wedding gift, and when she went to visit them after the honeymoon, the quilt was in the barn for the cats to sleep on...she about fainted! The point of the article was that no one knows the value if you don't tell them.

    Education is the key

    So far, I've only given quilts to my grandkids. When I finally give them to my adult daughters, they WILL be told the proper way to be respectful to the quilts.... but you can do that with your own offspring

    :lol:

    Happier days ahead


  10. #35

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    This dilemma demonstrates character, the recipient's and the giver's. I think no matter what, something made for you should be treated with respect. But-once given, it's out of one's control.
    It is SO hard to keep your mouth shut and to take the "high road". She's your friend of fifty years and that's really an accomplishment these days--
    so try to laugh about it to yourself. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you.
    Education is, indeed, the key.
    BTW-I love kitty fabrics, too. To comfort yourself, think of all the fun you had visiting the various quilt and fabric shops when you bought the fabrics! :lol:

  11. #36

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    There was a time when I would have been really upset, just like you...you put so much of your time and work and love into these handmade things, and it is heartbreaking to see them taken so carelessly.

    My sister treats things this way and for years I refused to give her anything handmade after I saw her one day raking ashes out of her fireplace with an oil painting I had done for her.

    But I have changed my mind about this. My sister and I are old now and the only ones left alive of our family. I can and will make many more quilts, oil paintings, leatherwork, etc.....BUT I CAN NEVER, NEVER MAKE A SISTER. I will give her tons of quilts and she can wash her truck with them if she chooses...because I love her so much, that's perfectly okay with me.

  12. #37
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    Well, I hope no one has been thinking that I was heartless in sending my mother-in-laws quilt to the garage. She herself recognizes that it was very bad and has mentioned several times that she really did not know how to make quilts, and she was so excited that we were going to work on a quilt with her during our visit. The next time we visit with her, I will have completely cut out all of the fabric for the squares so our time will be spent in getting the top sewn together. I will probably take my machine and my granddaughter's machine so the three of us can all be sewing. She really was so happy for us to be helping/teaching her. Other family members have always made remarks about how bad her work has been, but this was the first time anyone has shown her a few "tricks" in getting seems press and in which direction to press those seams. This can be attributed to my granddaughter who is very precise in the construction of a quilt square and because of her autism has such an innocent way of conveying her instructions. Also, when some seam does not turn out just right she is very patient in saying such things as, "It takes practice", "It's just a mistake, we can fix it.", "Let me show you what to do" Through out the years my mother-in-law and I have been able to work together on many "sensitive" situations. When her youngest daughter at the age of 18 lost her husband (much older) in a drowning accident and was left with her new baby and two pre-teen step-children, it was my husband, my mother-in-law, and me who went to these children's biological grandparents (it was their son who drown) and worked out the future care for these two children. When my mother-in-law had hip replacement and her body rejected the "hardware", it was me who got up at 4:00 or 5:00 a.m. and drove to her house to give her pain medication injections. Then it was me who got that doctor on the phone and demanded that he see her in the emergency room, and it was me (with two small children of my own) who helped her get kitchen cabinets built to accomodate her use of a wheel chair in the kitchen. I guess all of this is to say that the two of us have a relationship in which we could tell each other that our work was "bad", but more than likely we would be able to offer a resolution to "fix" the problem. You know that quilt in the garage really does have value to us when it prevents Aunt Mary's fig tree from frost.

  13. #38

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    Hi, I HEAR you, the thing is I love to make & give quilts AWAY, (if not then what? I can't keep them all) I prefer they be treated with respect, but also NOT packed up where no one will see them. like one of the other's said they "LOVE" it in their own way and it's the LOVE you gave with it. :P

  14. #39
    Super Member wraez's Avatar
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    Qultnut and nana2.... you have blown me away with the unconditional love that you show and in all that you DO! Rock on, quilt on, love on and on and on!

    warm quilt hugs, sue

  15. #40
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    Janeen,

    I feel your pain. many gifts I have given were treated with proper respect and care, some not so much, but life isn't fair. and sometimes we are happily surprised...

    ...I made a quilt for my hubby to take to the deer lease to use in the stand to keep warm while deer hunting. He never took that quilt out of the house, to this day (21 yrs. later) he keeps that quilt on his recliner to wrap up in when he gets cold. I made the quilt out of animal panels, browns and beige's (like camo) to specifically be used. but the dear sweetie, just couldn't, he said it was tooooo special. it really wasn't but i am thankful he feels that way. just my 2 cents.

    Turtlefuss

  16. #41
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    I would be happy that the quilt was being used. Some of the quilts which I have made are thought to be too nice to use, so get stored away. I encourage the recipients to use them. I made a paper pieced one for my grandson. It is laid on the floor for him and many times their Golden Retriever dog. My family was worried that I would be upset at is use, instead I am happy that it serves a useful function in their household. Hopefully I can look back and know that I gave comfort and warmth with my skills. Also, once it is given it is no longer mine to decide how it should be used.

  17. #42
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    omgggggggg i went thru the same thing i made a quilt for a girl and she gave it to her dogs to sleep on ((( they are her babies )) i just made the comment that i gave it to her not the dogs and said had i known it was for the dogs i would of made it out of prints of cats so they could enjoy it more !! she said well they are my babies and they love it this was after she ranted and raved how beautiful it was and loved the present that is the last time i make anything for her in your case i would of said i made that for you to put on your bed to keep you warm at night and to cuddle with the cats and then just dropped the subject but i am known to let my mouth override my thoughts !!!!
    so sorry some people appreciate things in differant ways

  18. #43
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    I think it would not be rude to pin a label or sew one for that matter, that states how many hours I was thinking about you while I made this quilt (which would be how many hours it took to make), how many yards of thread to quilt and maybe how many yard of fabric it took to make it. That way, they would know all the details of what was put into it. Then, if you see it with a dog or a dirty man on it, you have a truly justified and righteous reason to be outraged. Maybe they will value it more if they know that. The embroidered one with the birth dates, etc, should have been obvious. I would be mad about that.

  19. #44
    LSC
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    I know for myself that I have decorated my rooms to my taste. If your friend already had a lovely bed covering that she had specially picked out for her bedroom, she may not have wanted to change it out for the quilt or it may not have fitted into the color scheme of the room. But displaying the quilt in the living area for all of her family and guests to see seems to indicate that she valued your gift.

  20. #45

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    You could look at it this way. If she has placed the quilt you gave her right out in the living room on her couch where everybody can see it, she must really like it. Look on the bright side!

  21. #46
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    I have to tell you a cute story about what my youngest GD did with the quilt I designed for her. I used her favorite colors and favorite activities and it turned out really nice and she loved it. I went into her room shortly after giving it to her and didn't see it on her bed. After asking where it was, she told me, "Gma, I roll it up and put it in the closet at night so nothing happens to it and I take it out in the morning and lay it out on the bed!" I was so touched that she would do that. It's still in very good condition. Also, she was only 8 at the time. She's 15 now. Probably time for a more grown up quilt huh?

  22. #47

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    What a cute picture. Looks like you have a really pretty Bichon..

  23. #48
    GEM
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    I'd be upset too. This friend has no idea how long you spent on this quilt and it sounds like she could care less. I'm so sorry to hear stories like this because a quilter is a true artist. I have been fortunate that most of my quilts have been loved and well taken care of.
    Someone must appreciate the work one does on a quilt to show true friendship or love.

  24. #49

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    I guess I have a whole different attitude about this. Everytime I give a quilt I tell the special person in my life that I gave it to "Use It". I would so much rather see someone using my quilts than never seeing them again. When I give a baby quilt, I explain, take it to the park, throw it on the grass, please enjoy it. I want the recipients to think of me when they see it. What better way than by using it every day?

  25. #50
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    I agree with Chele. I went to our 2nd Hand shop in our area and found a beautiful hand stitched, hand quilted Grandmothers Garden double quilt for $40. There was NOTHING wrong with it. It is beautiful. It is no my bed and yes my cats are on it and it has a white background found I cherish this quilt and wonder WHY is was sent to a second had shope. There is a date of 1986 so it is 20 yrs no spots or damage. Was it just packed away for 23 yrs, I will never know however I can tell you it is loved and respected now. Also, I hope Janeen took pictues of her quilt! I love my quilt journal. It means a lot to me and I see the quilts and time I want and they are in perfect condition. Just enjoy the process and the end results.!

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