My husband just doesnt understand
10-13-2011, 11:57 AM
#41
Super Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,992
I am so sorry to hear that :( ; 10 yrs is far too long. The time has come to sit him down and have a talk. Perhaps something like:
"Honey, it has been 10 years since my work space was started and it is still not finished. It is very important to me that I have my space, it is how I make my living. I really need to know when WE are going to finish it and I need a timeline that is reasonable and works for both of us.
You are my husband and partner, I love you and support you in anything you want to do; I want you to understand how much my work means to me. I am blessed to be able to make a living doing what I love; I need you to be more supportive and understanding of what I do, it would mean the world to me. When I am happy you are happy when your happy I am happy; lets work on being happy again- Your my husband and I love you.
Relationships are hard, but in the end you have to realize that you have to make your own happiness; sometimes that means taking charge of what you want and DOING it all by yourself if you have a hubby that does not think it matters.
Hugs and keep us updated, we are here for you!!!
"Honey, it has been 10 years since my work space was started and it is still not finished. It is very important to me that I have my space, it is how I make my living. I really need to know when WE are going to finish it and I need a timeline that is reasonable and works for both of us.
You are my husband and partner, I love you and support you in anything you want to do; I want you to understand how much my work means to me. I am blessed to be able to make a living doing what I love; I need you to be more supportive and understanding of what I do, it would mean the world to me. When I am happy you are happy when your happy I am happy; lets work on being happy again- Your my husband and I love you.
Relationships are hard, but in the end you have to realize that you have to make your own happiness; sometimes that means taking charge of what you want and DOING it all by yourself if you have a hubby that does not think it matters.
Hugs and keep us updated, we are here for you!!!
10-13-2011, 02:05 PM
#43
Super Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Riverside Washington
Posts: 1,508
Originally Posted by Karen Powell
I think he hopes I will just give up and forget about it. I have continually invested it the things I need to establish my studieo hoping he see how important it is to me. I guess I could by pass him up and do it my self. I love him and dont want him to feel disrespected. But I am ready to move on or out is that to drastic. I have even suggested buying a cheep building. where I could creat and run a boothing business. So the ladies could come in and rent space to have there dream mini antique shop. And wouldnt we all love to do that. So seriouly feeling traped.
10-13-2011, 02:12 PM
#44
Super Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Cadillac, MI
Posts: 6,487
If the drywall's up and the floor are down, what do you need a man for? I am older and somewhat disabled, but I can still paint walls and hang drapery rods. The room is big enough for both of you. Give him a third for his recliner and TV and make sure his junk is in that section. Organize what you need in your section and get rid of anything you don't need.
How much do you get out? Do you have a church group or any good friends? It sounds like more than your room needs looking at.
How much do you get out? Do you have a church group or any good friends? It sounds like more than your room needs looking at.
10-13-2011, 03:46 PM
#45
Super Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: A million dollar view!
Posts: 8,830
What I hear you saying is, since your brother died, you are feeling alot of pain and depession. If that is so, then you probably do not have the gumption to stand up to your DH about this situation. You sound depressed to me and in need of some professional help. A professional can help you work through your grief and the difficulties you and your DH are having.
I am also wondering if DH 'moved' into your space thinking he wanted to keep you company or maybe he needed you to kep him company.
Make out your list beginning with what needs done first, and so on. Include cost, materials, date you and he will work on getting it done together. Don't wait for him to get going on it. He may not be able to if he himself is suffering depression. Ask me how I know. My DH has PTSD, depression, and depending on who you talk to, bipolar. Some days he just cannot function like a 'normal' human being.
I am also wondering if DH 'moved' into your space thinking he wanted to keep you company or maybe he needed you to kep him company.
Make out your list beginning with what needs done first, and so on. Include cost, materials, date you and he will work on getting it done together. Don't wait for him to get going on it. He may not be able to if he himself is suffering depression. Ask me how I know. My DH has PTSD, depression, and depending on who you talk to, bipolar. Some days he just cannot function like a 'normal' human being.
10-13-2011, 04:43 PM
#46
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Central Pa.
Posts: 418
I also think you should keep your Husband and the chair in the same room.I enjoy having a Tv in my sewing room.The room should be big enough,to give him a corner,not the whole room!But finish the room yourself or hire someone.As far as the girls my advice is unconditional LOVE.If you can, have more then One TV.We have lots in just about every room.Then sometimes,when your busy sewing,he might enjoy spending time with the girls watching movies on the other TV.My husband has a chair in his computer room, I sometimes go to see him there.But my sewing room is to small for him to visit me, how sad.Love everyone around you,because life is to short.I work in a nursing home one day a week,and it really is a reminder to me that life is to short.
10-13-2011, 05:20 PM
#47
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Lakeland, Florida
Posts: 9,856
Originally Posted by QuiltE
Being that the custom sewing is your job/business, then it's also part of that business for you to finish the room that was intended for it. Just.Do.It!
Yes, there is another problem ... it has been used for sometime for other than for your business. And it appears that it's been for more than storage ... you mentioned a flat screen, and his watching TV. Looks like he has changed this into his man-cave.
Take hold ... and start emptying the stuff, and converting it back to your Business Location!
Yes, there is another problem ... it has been used for sometime for other than for your business. And it appears that it's been for more than storage ... you mentioned a flat screen, and his watching TV. Looks like he has changed this into his man-cave.
Take hold ... and start emptying the stuff, and converting it back to your Business Location!
10-13-2011, 08:37 PM
#49
Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Sunny Southern Alberta, Canada
Posts: 149
Originally Posted by valsma
I feel you pain though, my husband doesn't get it either. He told me one day that he hadn't seen a finished quilt so I must not be doing more than buying fabric. I told him I prefer the peicing of the tops to the actual quilting, but their are tops finished in my sewing room.
10-13-2011, 09:57 PM
#50
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: North Ridgeville, Ohio
Posts: 925
finish up your section of the room then put up a floor length curtain across his section so you don't have to see him and if he complains tell hims it your design wall and you will be making some noise on the curtain every time he sits to watch tv. Or I could send you my husband to finish it since he has lost his job he has been doing handyman jobs even drove to Maine one week to help a friend who paid his gas and an hourly wage
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