I recently made my mom a quilt as a Christmas present and was talking to my Dad (he lives in another state) about it.

He says "so when do I get a quilt?" I said that as a matter of fact I had something in mind for him.

Well, the following week I received a note from him, and I quote..."I was just kidding about the quilt. I do not want a quilt, and I wouldn't use one"

I was dumbfounded when I received this. What do you make of it?

My take is, sluff his remarks off...tell him he can just lay it on his chair & bet he'll be using it before long, but don't mention it anymore until you give it to him. Men are just that way sometimes. Wrap it up real tight so he won't know what it is & bet he'll be happy to see it.

My mother told me she does not want me to make her a quilt.
I mentioned that I would like to make one for her and she said that she had no need for one. She asked me if I knew how to do some type of fabric folding for a wall hanging and I said "No"
I made one for my dad and he uses it all the time. Mom still does not want one.
My Mother in Law, on the other hand has two of my quilts and she tells me almost every time I see her how much she loves her quilts.

I don't think I have ever had anyone say that to me.
If my dad had said that to me, and I had been thinking about making him a quilt, I would go ahead make it and send it to him.
If he used it fine, if he didn't, fine.

Ha Ha that's actually kind of funny. I'm sure if you gave him one he'd use it...he's a man, what does he know??? :)

My dad would have said the same thing because he would not have wanted me to go to all that work for him. I bet his first response was the accurate one and he is trying to let you off the hook, so to speak, by saying that he doesn't want one. He might have felt like he was soliciting a quilt and didn't want you to feel put out. I would still make him that quilt.

Maybe ask him again on the phone, then you can hear by the tone in his voice if he really wants one or not.

I do know a few people who would never use one...They prefer fleece or other softer feeling fabric, and if given a quilt it would sit in a closet or be given away....

Also ask yourself, if you did make him one and he never used it...how would you feel?

I did talk to him on the phone later and he brought the up the subject. I explained to him that I was thinking about making him a lap quilt that he could use when he reads, sitting in his favorite chair. His response "oh" and then he changed the subject.

When I told my sister about his note she too thought his note was a bit blunt. We talked about how if it seems that someone wouldn't appreciate your efforts, maybe it is best to not bother. Use your time where it will be appreciated.

I would never presume to make someone a quilt for their bed without knowing if they want one. It would seem presumptuous to dictate to them how to decorate their bedroom. So that is why I thought he might like a lap quilt.

His note and subsequent phone call really hurt my feelings so I am relunctant to make anything for him. My Dad tends to say what he means, and means what he says.

I was telling my friend (saleswoman) at my favorite sewing machine store. She too thought it was odd. A nice man (waiting for his vacuum cleaner) overheard us and said "I would love a quilt" He made my day.

he just wanted the one u had for ur mom sometimes they like to be the first

Is he remarried? Maybe his mate or girlfriend is afraid of what you might send? I would tend to go with his first instinct and send him a lap quilt. My mom didn't want me to go to the expense of making her one but it's on her bed every day. She's always afraid of us spending our money on her.

Hugs,
Sharon