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Yes, I have had 2 people tell me not to make them one. They said they would not use it because it would be to heavy. I figured, oh well, their loss. I'll save my work for someone who will really appreciate it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by butterflywing

i just went back and re-read this topic. i thought i might have missed something, but if the gift is really for him, then it shouldn't be a quilt. he just won't appreciate your time and effort.

I agree. I understand that not everyone sees the value in the quilts that we make, and I know that certain members of my family would not appreciate one and for that reason they are not on my list of future projects.

I guess I would have appreciated if he had found a different way of saying what he thought. Something like, "I really don't care for quilts. I prefer blankets or chenille throws" I won't be making him a lap quilt for fear he would say "I thought I told you I didn't want one" and it would really bother me if I made one and he never used it.

My Dad is very set in his ways. He never remarried, so he has been divorced from my mom since I was 3 years old. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive, just wanting to please him as I have been trying to do all my life.

Enough about this. Thank you everyone for allowing me to vent. Now lets talk about something fun.

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Originally Posted by JanetM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amma

Maybe ask him again on the phone, then you can hear by the tone in his voice if he really wants one or not.

I do know a few people who would never use one...They prefer fleece or other softer feeling fabric, and if given a quilt it would sit in a closet or be given away....

Also ask yourself, if you did make him one and he never used it...how would you feel?

I did talk to him on the phone later and he brought the up the subject. I explained to him that I was thinking about making him a lap quilt that he could use when he reads, sitting in his favorite chair. His response "oh" and then he changed the subject.

When I told my sister about his note she too thought his note was a bit blunt. We talked about how if it seems that someone wouldn't appreciate your efforts, maybe it is best to not bother. Use your time where it will be appreciated.

I would never presume to make someone a quilt for their bed without knowing if they want one. It would seem presumptuous to dictate to them how to decorate their bedroom. So that is why I thought he might like a lap quilt.

His note and subsequent phone call really hurt my feelings so I am relunctant to make anything for him. My Dad tends to say what he means, and means what he says.

I was telling my friend (saleswoman) at my favorite sewing machine store. She too thought it was odd. A nice man (waiting for his vacuum cleaner) overheard us and said "I would love a quilt" He made my day.

I know exactly how you feel, I wanted to make a quilt for my mom and she said "what will I do with it?" (I think it's quite obvious what you are supposed to do with it!) The point is, it was a rejection that really hurt! I will not make her one especially if she won't appreciate it. The reason why her rejection hurt so much is that she is very talented at many things, like fashion sewing, smocking, painting etc. If anyone would know and appreciate the love and hard work that goes into a quilt it would be my mom.....but I guess she doesn't want to with my quilt for some reason.

You said:

I know exactly how you feel, I wanted to make a quilt for my mom and she said "what will I do with it?" (I think it's quite obvious what you are supposed to do with it!) The point is, it was a rejection that really hurt! I will not make her one especially if she won't appreciate it. The reason why her rejection hurt so much is that she is very talented at many things, like fashion sewing, smocking, painting etc. If anyone would know and appreciate the love and hard work that goes into a quilt it would be my mom.....but I guess she doesn't want to with my quilt for some reason.[/quote]

Thank you so much for that. My dad is a painter...a watercolorist, so I thought like you...if anyone would appreciate the time and care that goes into making something it would be him. Guess you and I need to be selective in who receives one of our gifts LOL.

MAybe you could make it and then when you see him, tell him you made it for fun but didn't have anywhere for it, did he want it? If he says no, I'm not sure what to tell you.
My dad drives me crazy in that I can never tell if he likes something or not.

Sabrina

Quote:

Originally Posted by MistyMarie

My dad would have said the same thing because he would not have wanted me to go to all that work for him. I bet his first response was the accurate one and he is trying to let you off the hook, so to speak, by saying that he doesn't want one. He might have felt like he was soliciting a quilt and didn't want you to feel put out. I would still make him that quilt.

I think MistyMarie is right. Maybe he was thinking of what it would cost.

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Originally Posted by MistyMarie

Exactly what i would think! I would make him one anyway.

My DD has said "Jack(DGS who is 2) doesn't need anymore quilts"..LOL! he only has 4 so far!

I must be honest here...had that happened to me I'd never make him anything. I wouldn't waste my time on it. Alot goes into making a quilt, I'd hate to know that it just sat in the closet never to be used. It's his loss!

Wait till he gets it-he won't part with it!

I think he just saved you a ton of work that might not be appreciated as much as your mother did hers. Maybe he likes his fleece blanket he uses or never uses one for napping in his chair or couch. If he took the time to write you it meant he got worried you might actually do this. Listen to him and you wont have hurt feelings. Slippers are cheaper than a quilt anyways. I however would love a lap quilt so feel free to expend your energy on me! My daughter just learned how to make pot holders. I will be pretty old before she is making be blankets!