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-   -   Ever had someone tell you not to make them a quilt? (https://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1/ever-had-someone-tell-you-not-make-them-quilt-t35028.html)

aliaslaceygreen 01-25-2010 04:39 AM

I might still make one. But it wouldn't be a work of art ....it would be something that I wanted to try, a pattern I wasn't sure of, colors I had a desire to work with, but hadn't and SIMPLE. An Irish chain, a rail fence. Nothing difficult. And maybe only tied. One of the charity/Linus patterns, but larger, to be a lap quilt.

And, then, you give it to him. Nothing else said before or after, except, I was testing this pattern out, and realized I don't have anyone to give this to!

thismomquilts 01-25-2010 04:42 AM

Yes, my daughter told me, "No thank you, I'm not a quilt type person." Two months later, "Ok, Mom, I've found the fabric for my quilt." ;) She has now asked for her second one!!

topper1 01-25-2010 05:08 AM

my rule is do things out of love in your heart. dont look for appreciation and in the case of quilts have found give it, give it up in your heart, let it go, what people do with it we cant control. a lap quilt sounds better maybe of deer or plaid flannel fabric whichever u think he likes. he is a man and they get weird sometimes. u are very lovely to want to give out of your generous heart.

ctquilter 01-25-2010 05:36 AM


Originally Posted by JanetM
I recently made my mom a quilt as a Christmas present and was talking to my Dad (he lives in another state) about it.

He says "so when do I get a quilt?" I said that as a matter of fact I had something in mind for him.

Well, the following week I received a note from him, and I quote..."I was just kidding about the quilt. I do not want a quilt, and I wouldn't use one"

I was dumbfounded when I received this. What do you make of it?

I think at one time before quilting became so popular that quilts were associated with becoming elderly, used for lap quilts in nursing homes. I'm learning from personal experience that no matter what our intentions, sometimes older parents think we're conspiring to put them in a nursing home.
Maybe you can make him a wall hanging instead.

Knot Sew 01-25-2010 05:46 AM

My late mother in law, grew up poor and had 10 kids and was poor most of her life.
She did not want anything homemade. Homemade pie...she added sugar before tasting.. Hand made sweater...never again seen ect......Then she told everyone....I do not want hamd made stuff....thats all I ever had...want store bought lol and the really


glittery and glitzy...this all came out in her 70's
I made her an afagan was in the basement in a box :roll: :roll: :roll:

My son gives me the best gifts...a load of cirtificates....he covers the bases...ice cream store, movie, mc donalds, Lowes, joanns, green house, oil change.......you get the idea...a few each holiday, i use them all :thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

LindaR 01-25-2010 05:52 AM

yes, my sister...she is very modern and said a quilt just doesn't go with her "style", I said absolutely no problem LOL

cande 01-25-2010 06:13 AM

My take on this is that he was a little jealous that you made a quilt for your Mother and was feeling left out. Then he retracted because it sounded like he was jealous. I would go ahead and make him a lap robe, maybe you could find him some fabric that would reflect his career or a hobby. I bet he'd use it. Men, ya know??! lol

Sharon321 01-25-2010 06:18 AM

Not everyone is "quilt worthy", so I do not spend my time working on something that will not be appreciated.

wvdek 01-25-2010 06:37 AM

Since I just came back from my cousins memorial service, I would like to give my '2-cents' worth.

Last summer, G. started feeling sickly. This is a man who ate correctly, exercised, and walked the equivalant(sp) miles around the equator and stated he was going to start his second jorney around. That's in the vicinity of 23,000 plus miles. He kept accurate records, that's how we know.
His DW's exercise group was in the process of making them a queen-sized quilt. He got reallly sick in the fall, hospitalized in November, had 75 B-day in hosp., and never saw the absolutely beautiful quilt the group made for them.

If your father died next week, do you think that you would regret not making him a quilt and kick yourself or...
what if you die next week and he received a quilt from you, don't you think he would cherish it?

Ask me how I know. The afghan I started to make my father is still sitting in the sunroom. He died before I finished it. I hope to finish it this summer and give it to my oldest brother even though we are not close. .

Do what you know in your heart is the right thing to do and you will be able to live with the decision much easier. Some things you can't put a price on nor hold that grudge for. (off my soapbox)

Joanofpa 01-25-2010 06:45 AM

I agree with MistyMarie. My dad was so sweet, never wanted me to go to any trouble at all for him. Your dad may know how much work goes into it and just doesn't want to "burden" you, though I know you don't think of it that way! Go for it!


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