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-   -   Ever had someone tell you not to make them a quilt? (https://www.quiltingboard.com/main-f1/ever-had-someone-tell-you-not-make-them-quilt-t35028.html)

dkabasketlady 01-24-2010 07:34 PM

I have four children and have made quilts for three of them. One of my sons told me he didn't want a quilt because they don't keep him as warm as a comforter. I even suggested making it completely out of flannel and he still said no. His loss.

kimbie 01-24-2010 07:36 PM

I've never had anyone say they wouldn't want a quilt. I can't keep up with all the family/friends I want to make for.

I'm sorry your father hurt your feelings. If he's always that blunt, he probably doesn't realize how much it hurt you. Many men don't understand why we buy fabric, cut it up and sew it back together when we could just buy a blanket.

Does he already have a favorite blanket on his chair?

I did have an (almost) argument with someone I used to work with. I made her a baby quilt for her (only) child and at the shower she was so happy, she told me over and over how beautiful it was and she was going home right away to get her husband to hang it on the wall above the crib. I told her (privately) it wasn't art for the wall, it was for the baby and I hoped she used it. She never ever did any type of handcraft. They painted the room to go with the quilt, I felt very honored.

Make your father a quilt. Since he does a lot of reading, make it very cozy, flannel or fleece on the back, maybe flannel on the front, too. He'll find out he's happy to have it. Remind him you made it because you love him.

dojo36 01-24-2010 07:55 PM

well, i feel like this: if someone told me they didn't want a quilt, no matter who it was or their reason, you can rest assured i would never make them one. that goes for everybody i make something for and they don't treat it right, you can bet i'll never make them anything else. just because WE quilters love our quilts, that doesn't mean that everyone does.

cindyg 01-24-2010 07:58 PM

It's the thought that counts. If you want to give him a loving quilt made by your hands, then do it. It's your way to show him you love him......even it he doesn't use it. But I bet he will. I just think he was giving you a way out because he, at first, indicated that he wanted one.

Margie 01-24-2010 07:59 PM

WELL...I would love to have one lol How about greens? blue? yellow? red? get the picture? ROFL

Margie

Lneal 01-24-2010 08:02 PM


Originally Posted by MistyMarie
My dad would have said the same thing because he would not have wanted me to go to all that work for him. I bet his first response was the accurate one and he is trying to let you off the hook, so to speak, by saying that he doesn't want one. He might have felt like he was soliciting a quilt and didn't want you to feel put out. I would still make him that quilt.

Exactly what I think too!! I would certainly make him one~~

butterflywing 01-24-2010 08:22 PM

since he was so blunt, i think you can be also. tell him you were making the quilt out of love for him, but if there is something he'd rather have, then you'd like to give him that instead. let's be practical. not everyone loves what we love. my mother wanted me to make every stitch of her clothing, but she didn't want one quilt or painting that i made. my father wanted every painting i did and never wanted anything i sewed. my sister wants every quilt i make. too bad. she throws them in the corner for her dogs. i buy her dog beds, instead. go figure! it just wasn't important enough to them. my husband wants me to share all his interests, but i don't.

don't be insulted. life is too short. ask what he really wants.

pam1966 01-24-2010 08:25 PM


Originally Posted by butterflywing
since he was so blunt, i think you can be also. tell him you were making the quilt out of love for him, but if there is something he'd rather have, then you'd like to give him that instead. let's be practical. not everyone loves what we love. my mother wanted me to make every stitch of her clothing, but she didn't want one quilt or painting that i made. my father wanted every painting i did and never wanted anything i sewed. my sister wants every quilt i make. too bad. she throws them in the corner for her dogs. i buy her dog beds, instead. go figure! it just wasn't important enough to them. my husband wants me to share all his interests, but i don't.

don't be insulted. life is too short. ask what he really wants.

Very good idea!

ladygen 01-24-2010 08:28 PM


Originally Posted by butterflywing
since he was so blunt, i think you can be also. tell him you were making the quilt out of love for him, but if there is something he'd rather have, then you'd like to give him that instead. let's be practical. not everyone loves what we love. my mother wanted me to make every stitch of her clothing, but she didn't want one quilt or painting that i made. my father wanted every painting i did and never wanted anything i sewed. my sister wants every quilt i make. too bad. she throws them in the corner for her dogs. i buy her dog beds, instead. go figure! it just wasn't important enough to them. my husband wants me to share all his interests, but i don't.

don't be insulted. life is too short. ask what he really wants.

I totally agree. It's hard to go right out and be blunt, especially about something that hurt our feelings... but it's (more often than we'd like to admit) the best approach. Ask him how he feels, and let him know you want to make him something... but what does he want? Good idea butterflywing! ;)

butterflywing 01-24-2010 08:42 PM

i just went back and re-read this topic. i thought i might have missed something, but if the gift is really for him, then it shouldn't be a quilt. he just won't appreciate your time and effort.


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