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Thread: What To Do?? A BIG MOUTH HAS A HOLD OF THE QUILT GUILD!!!

  1. #21
    Senior Member BDor's Avatar
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    If you joined the guild to learn---like I did--hang in there! We have a lady in our quild that thinks (and says it also) that if it isn't hand pieced and hand quilted then it isn't a quilt. We just call her the quilt police and just go on about our business. Like you said about the lady in your guild --she never makes any of the things the guild members do but she is there for every meeting. I have seen some of her work and it is breathtaking but I think the problem is she is that she can no longer to do that quality work and she still likes to be involved in the quilt world and be around quilters and she just can't accept that there is more than one way to skin a cat or make a quilt.

  2. #22
    Super Member Debra Mc's Avatar
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    I took about 4 trash bags of material I would never use to a church group of ladies that sew for underprivileged children. Well one of the ladies found out I sew and quilt by machine. She acted like I had cooties. She only hand quilts. After 30 years in the floral business my hands aren't the best some days. My quilts are nice, they stay together and I'm really proud of them. I can piece a less complicated quilt in 2 days sometimes less. Just ignore the busy body. Hey I learned to sew on a Singer trettle sewing machine. Still have it. Hang in there.

  3. #23
    Power Poster sandpat's Avatar
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    I don't belong to a guild and am a newby being self taught. I've found I don't really need a guild because I have this group, a tv to watch quilting shows and I can read...however, it would be nice to have some "live quilting friends". My advice about BIGMOUTH is to just smile sweetly and loud enough for everyone to hear...say "HOW NICE OF YOU TO NOTICE" then turn and walk away. Maybe she'll get the message..if not who cares..ignore her...shes not important.

  4. #24
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    It's nice to think of things that should be said to someone like this Big Mouth....the best thing to do is rise above it, she's not worth getting stressed out over.

    She doesn't even realize how much she discloses about herself when she does these things..... Our actions are a reflection of who we are as a person.... her actions reflect how insecure she really is.....

  5. #25
    Super Member Flying_V_Goddess's Avatar
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    If you're gaining quilting knowledge and skills while you're in the guild then keep with it. Don't let some rude loudmouth with a misguided opinion get to you and ruin your experiance. As far as how to deal with her I can't offer any advice other than not to stoop down to her level. She's obviously lacking some class and has an abundance of thoughtlessness with the way she rudely criticised your work and you shouldn't have to lower yourself to that sort of level in order to deal with her. You said so yourself that you just started getting good at it and loving it...don't let anyone change that.

  6. #26

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    Hi Icequilter' please whatever you do don't leave that will show a lack of weakness,I was once in a guild and the founder and pres. of the guild she was very hateful to me i talk to someone about the problem their advice was to stay in the guild and learn everything i could and after i learn what i wanted to learn then leave, not only did she lose me she lost 3 more people, one day she will meet her match and you want have to dirty up your nice clean hands ending my note, ignorant is it's own pushment she is not just ignorant there she is ignorant all the times and where ever she goes her age show up. I hope this is some comfort
    lol Annette

  7. #27
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    Usually people who need to make themselves feel better by belittleing someone else aren't worth the trouble it takes getting something ready to fire back at them. Who knows how badly she is treated at home or in the workplace? "More to be pitied than censored..."
    Just ignore her. They usually end up cutting their own throat anyway! Don't show a lack of dignity by going down to her level.

  8. #28
    DebbiD's Avatar
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    I belong to a guild and was aprehensive at first and some ofthe ladies do absolutely beautiful work. Thought mine were lacking. Finally worked up the nerve to show my Christmas quilt I did with quilting and machine embroidery and they loved it much to my surprise. We have a few 'loud ones', but the other ladies are good at discouraging this kind of behavior.

    It's too bad this person is so negative, and I agree with Shadow Dancer to ignore her and to not let her ruin the experiance for you. But I tend to agree a bit more with Moonpi as I am so not a people person either and would be rude to her and invite her to do unladylike things to herself. Then promptly leave.

    Good Luck.

  9. #29
    Senior Member Stitching4Fun's Avatar
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    I have read everyone's advice on this subject. I agree with mostly everyone. If you go to the guild to learn, then continue doing it. But I also know how it is to feel uncomfortable being there wondering if this BM might be watching your every move. If it was me, and I wasn't comfortable being there expecting her to ridicule my work, I personally would not go. And when it comes to your work, not everyone will like it, but they don't count. I know what it feels like to get something finished and that finished product makes me proud. That is how you should feel. Everyone has their own tastes of fabric and designs. I have never been in a guild, but I did attend a "share a quilt" thing years ago. I didn't know some of the members but we did enjoy ourselves. Everyone didn't sew the same and there are parts of my quilt from then needs some repair work done on it, but that quilt has memories for me. I enjoy working with others though. I set up a night a week for relatives and friends to come to my house and we did a quilt together.......each had their own, but we did a simple design (because some didn't know how to sew). They all enjoyed themselves and looked forward to doing it. I helped when they needed it. We each did two quilts and then we stopped getting together (some had babies). I moved a distance away and now I am being bugged by them to organize something again. So you can have your own little gathering with friends and relatives and have an enjoyable experience with it. That is what I would do NOW (this time in my life).

    BUT....if this lady says something to someone else about your quilt and it is loud enough for you to hear it, why not ask her (politely) what she thinks you are doing wrong. Or what she doesn't like about it. It might just be the colors. Like I said everyone has different tastes.
    Barb

  10. #30
    Connie Hadba's Avatar
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    Very wise and well put Tim. You have taken the advice right out of my mouth.

    This is the only quilting guild that I have or need. And the support and encouragement from everyone is very much appreciated.

    Too often those who criticize the most are the ones who can not do it so well themselves.

    Connie

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