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Thread: What To Do?? A BIG MOUTH HAS A HOLD OF THE QUILT GUILD!!!

  1. #26

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    Hi Icequilter' please whatever you do don't leave that will show a lack of weakness,I was once in a guild and the founder and pres. of the guild she was very hateful to me i talk to someone about the problem their advice was to stay in the guild and learn everything i could and after i learn what i wanted to learn then leave, not only did she lose me she lost 3 more people, one day she will meet her match and you want have to dirty up your nice clean hands ending my note, ignorant is it's own pushment she is not just ignorant there she is ignorant all the times and where ever she goes her age show up. I hope this is some comfort
    lol Annette

  2. #27
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    Usually people who need to make themselves feel better by belittleing someone else aren't worth the trouble it takes getting something ready to fire back at them. Who knows how badly she is treated at home or in the workplace? "More to be pitied than censored..."
    Just ignore her. They usually end up cutting their own throat anyway! Don't show a lack of dignity by going down to her level.

  3. #28
    DebbiD's Avatar
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    I belong to a guild and was aprehensive at first and some ofthe ladies do absolutely beautiful work. Thought mine were lacking. Finally worked up the nerve to show my Christmas quilt I did with quilting and machine embroidery and they loved it much to my surprise. We have a few 'loud ones', but the other ladies are good at discouraging this kind of behavior.

    It's too bad this person is so negative, and I agree with Shadow Dancer to ignore her and to not let her ruin the experiance for you. But I tend to agree a bit more with Moonpi as I am so not a people person either and would be rude to her and invite her to do unladylike things to herself. Then promptly leave.

    Good Luck.

  4. #29
    Senior Member Stitching4Fun's Avatar
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    I have read everyone's advice on this subject. I agree with mostly everyone. If you go to the guild to learn, then continue doing it. But I also know how it is to feel uncomfortable being there wondering if this BM might be watching your every move. If it was me, and I wasn't comfortable being there expecting her to ridicule my work, I personally would not go. And when it comes to your work, not everyone will like it, but they don't count. I know what it feels like to get something finished and that finished product makes me proud. That is how you should feel. Everyone has their own tastes of fabric and designs. I have never been in a guild, but I did attend a "share a quilt" thing years ago. I didn't know some of the members but we did enjoy ourselves. Everyone didn't sew the same and there are parts of my quilt from then needs some repair work done on it, but that quilt has memories for me. I enjoy working with others though. I set up a night a week for relatives and friends to come to my house and we did a quilt together.......each had their own, but we did a simple design (because some didn't know how to sew). They all enjoyed themselves and looked forward to doing it. I helped when they needed it. We each did two quilts and then we stopped getting together (some had babies). I moved a distance away and now I am being bugged by them to organize something again. So you can have your own little gathering with friends and relatives and have an enjoyable experience with it. That is what I would do NOW (this time in my life).

    BUT....if this lady says something to someone else about your quilt and it is loud enough for you to hear it, why not ask her (politely) what she thinks you are doing wrong. Or what she doesn't like about it. It might just be the colors. Like I said everyone has different tastes.
    Barb

  5. #30
    Connie Hadba's Avatar
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    Very wise and well put Tim. You have taken the advice right out of my mouth.

    This is the only quilting guild that I have or need. And the support and encouragement from everyone is very much appreciated.

    Too often those who criticize the most are the ones who can not do it so well themselves.

    Connie

  6. #31
    live2teach's Avatar
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    haha...I second what Ruth said..:)

  7. #32
    Power Poster cutebuns's Avatar
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    Sounds like you have lots of advice to choose from. Hold true to who you are. Please let us know what you decide and how it went. You have all the support here no matter what you decide or how it goes. :wink:

  8. #33
    Quilts from the Heart's Avatar
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    I am so sorry you are not enjoying your group - DO NOT give up! I really like some of the comments and suggestions here--just might have to use them myself! LOL Every quilt is beautiful! I have never seen a "bad" quilt.

  9. #34
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    Wouldn't it be just toooooo funny to copy off all the responses you have had from this group, and present them to her???
    Bet that might make her think!

  10. #35
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    :roll: I couldn't agree more, Who does this woman think she is GOD?? I think not!!! But she is most surely not as good as you, as you have a good heart and it has been hurt badly by this rude woman. Quilting is suppose to be FUN!!! And I do imagine your works of Art are quite something to behold as all the ladies are here. I do hope this woman doesn't have her fists in the officers but she does sound like the type and the same sort to run off a lot of quilters and before long she will be quite ALONE!!!! AH Sweet Revenge!!!! :D

  11. #36
    kd124's Avatar
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    Don't pay any attention to this person. If you are learning from others, then do not let this person ruin that. I belong to a great guild, fortunately, and love listening to our guest speakers. I also enjoy the show and tell at the end of the meeting.

  12. #37
    Senior Member Connie1948's Avatar
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    I am member of a group that has 3 main "leaders" that can be very rude and critical. Some of the group felt the same way and put up with it for many years. I was a newby. Those of us who love to fellowship, sew & help others and eat have formed our own group. We now have 20 in our group. It will cost you a quarter to say anything negative about anyone else. We meet twice a month; one Sat and one weekday from noon to 8 and we all bring something for a potluck so we can eat around 5. No meetings just fun and love. So my suggestion to everyone out there is to find or form such a group. You could even start with just a few and meet in each others homes. We are lucky our space is free! Churches will also many times let you use one of their large rooms. Your taxes pay for your community centers. Use them. The rule here is we must do some charity work and be not for profit. We donate quilts to different agencies or where there is a family or child in need. So I always have a charity quilt ready..you never know. A good thing to do with scraps is to make small stuffed animals for the local police, fire and EMT's to have with them. It is something for a child to hug when things are not going so great for them at no fault of their own.

    Connie

  13. #38
    Super Member ania755's Avatar
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    Honey, don't take things personaly...If someone treats you in an ugly menner..its mean that she or he are "ugly persons" with plenty of problems....you just happened to be on their way.....Its not your fault....
    You are as beautiful and gorgeous as always.....They are the poor and misrable.... :D :D :D

  14. #39
    Senior Member triciasquilts's Avatar
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    Oh, I love what Ruth said. I totally agree!! :D :D I don't belong to our guild here because with my quilt business, I just don't have time. Everyone is always asking me to join and I always say someday. I love all of you here and feel like I don't need to go anywhere else!!! One of the ladies from our local guild even asked me to make her something so she wouldn't have to! I thought this was kind of funny. But also a great compliment.
    I would totally ignore this woman because I think she has a very low self esteem.

  15. #40
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    Ruth, those are great usefull littls jabs. Love it. And Vicki you also should not have to put up with that especially at your job! Maybe there is someone higher then supervisor you can go to? It's terrible to have to get up and go to work every day knowing someone there makes you have an unplesent day. Okay, as Ruth said if all else fails than smack her :!: :roll:

  16. #41

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    I have read what others here have said and agree with most...if you really want to go and can ignore her, then go on. I am a beginner and have often wished I could belong to a guild, but after reading these responses about how quilds can be, I'm glad I don't! I like the idea of meeting with a few friends or family members who just want to have fun and be creative. I would also like to say thanks to all on this board who make every effort to be so supportive, friendly and helpful!

  17. #42

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    Hope this makes you feel better, but this is what I have figured out in my 'long' life.
    Those who intimidate, are intimidated. She is already threatened by you, to make herself feel better (and look better-she thinks)is to make you look bad. Little does she know is that she is only making herself look unbelievably horrible. And yes she is miserable, and misery loves company.
    Wonder when or if she will ever put 2 + 2 together?
    I am one of the newest of new (not even crawling) quilters. Not going to actually start yet, getting my house ready to sell, because we are having a house built.
    I have been ready this forum for 3 years now, just collecting information.
    All of you are AMAZING!! Keep sharing your work, I love it, as does others. :thumbup: :lol: :mrgreen: :thumbup: :thumbup:

  18. #43
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    Yes I agree She has the Problem!!! And do they make people like that the President? And WHY???

  19. #44
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    :roll: Oh My Goodness,she needs to be voted out! Unless of course no one else will do it. She is a Quilt Snob Big One. And I think maybe she's come to our sew group as well. How do we get rid of her? Anyone or anything new she's on a roll picking on them, sorry for them yet glad I've outgrown it all, I Hope.

  20. #45
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    :? mmmm I wonder if she lives round here? That guild has a few Big Mouths. and HoW!!!

  21. #46
    Moderator tlrnhi's Avatar
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    I agree with what the others say.
    But the best thing to do to Bigmouth is just SMILE at her.
    Don't talk to her if she talks to you, just SMILE!
    That will REALLY piss her off because she won't know if you are smiling at her because you like her, or if you are smiling because you are thinking evil thoughts.
    I'm telling you...it works everytime!
    Just SMILE at them and sooner or later, they will leave you alone

  22. #47
    Super Member DA Mayer's Avatar
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    You know what really throws someone off is start crying, just wail and say and "i thought my quilt was so nice, do the rest of you think it is as awful as she says?" Don't say anything else. OK hard to do, but wouldn't it be fun? What really does work is silence, it makes everyone uncomfortable. Maybe you could ask her to repeat what she said because you didn't hear her, then when she repeats herself just say OH and nothing else. Hope it gets better and others cozy up to you. Some people have been critical all their lives and don't even realize that they are.

  23. #48
    Senior Member Connie1948's Avatar
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    Love the crying idea!

  24. #49
    Super Member Quilting Aggi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shadow Dancer
    If this guild is giving you something, then by all means continue to attend. As for big mouth....

    When someone continuously criticizes or finds fault, it's not you that they are finding fault with...it's themselves. This woman has an over abundance of low self esteem, and in order to build herself up, she puts others down. She obviously lacks self confidence in her own abilities or she would show her work.

    Don't let her pull you down to her level by making you question your talent.
    here here Shadow!! I was thinking the exact same thing.. She is insecure!!! If you are happy with the quilting you are doing and the patterns you are doing.. isnt' that what's important? Otherwise you wouldn't be doing it!!! If you love your work then that is all that matters!!!! I think this woman also just loves to be heard!!! geez I cant' stand people like that.. I could just choke them with some fabric.. but then I would be afraid of the wrinkles it would put in my fabric.. ahhhh close up her trap with quilters safety pins!! HA! evil arent' I!!!

  25. #50
    Super Member Quilting Aggi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DA Mayer
    You know what really throws someone off is start crying, just wail and say and "i thought my quilt was so nice, do the rest of you think it is as awful as she says?" Don't say anything else. OK hard to do, but wouldn't it be fun? What really does work is silence, it makes everyone uncomfortable. Maybe you could ask her to repeat what she said because you didn't hear her, then when she repeats herself just say OH and nothing else. Hope it gets better and others cozy up to you. Some people have been critical all their lives and don't even realize that they are.
    DA I like that idea too!! hee ehee REALLY put that ole biddy on the spot!

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