IrishNY

I'm not sure I can agree with Judie. Or maybe I am just too selfish to agree. I don't think that you should be aside everything that is "yours" while your kids are small. I think it is important that they are a priority in your world, but not your whole world. It's important for them and for you.

It really is your choice and you have to decide what is right for you. With four kids, you could have them (or at least one) in the 'kid' phase for 17 to 20 years. That is too long to put aside what you want to do for you. I always took time for things that I liked to do when my kids were young and I don't regret it at all now that they are older. And they turned out fine, if I do say so myself.

I think if you want to put other things aside and concentrate on them when they are young, that's great. But if that makes you feel resentful and like you are losing who you are as a person, then it's fine to have things that are just for you. Make the best choice for YOU and that will make you a better mother because you'll be happier.

And at the risk of really being controversial, you have a right to insist that your husband take his turn at being responsible for the children to give you a break.

Judie

oh my, I do agree.. I think he (daddy) should feel just as responsible as mom.. after all he is the other half to the equation!!

and by the way IrishNY, I fully agree with you, that each of us has to decide what's best for your family.. I told my friends when I had babies, and I tell my kids now that they have babies.. you have to decide what's best for you and them... that's one of the reasons God gives us all our own children to raise in the way we think is best...

On the other hand, I also think young mothers that are snowed under need to stop and realize, this too shall pass.. having babies is only for a time. They grow, too quickly.

Every season in life has it's special time, the tick to life is to enjoy that time while you're in it.. If it's young babies, take the time to enjoy them.. if they are gone, enjoy your freedom.. If you're single enjoy that time.. if you're married, enjoy you mate.. All these things come and go.. only you stay.. so you have to know what you want and what makes life meaningful to you.

As far as babies or children go... if you make a decision out of love for them.. and not out of anger or frustration, or out of tiredness, but out of love, then you will mostly likey make a good decision. May not be the decision that someone else would make, but it will be for their good, not your convenience, and it will be the best for them at the time. None of us are perfect, but no one is better for children than a mother who loves them.. and a father who loves them and their mother!

I love this forum.. It's a great place to find lots of different ideas and ways of doing things. We all benefit from the different things said. At least I do. I'm so glad for the exchange of ideas and help. what a great place!

Joan

As a mom of grown up kids, I would still emphasize it is important to "schedule" your special time to do activities you want to do. My son was like your three year old. If I couldn't see him, I ran because he was probably into something. (one time, he even cut the cat's whiskers off!!!!). They do need constant supervision. (mine didn't nap very well either......)

One thing that saved my life while I had kids at home was a babysitting cooperative. We had a group of about 10 moms with prek age kids and took turns babysitting for each other. If you sat kids, you earned points and if you left kids you lost points. It was a very "fair" arrangement and gave me an opportunity to do errands and sometimes even just going out to lunch without paying for babysitting.

If that kind of an arrangement is not possible, think about the people you know with children. Find another mom who would be willing to trade kids for one morning a week. Just imagine a whole morning to quilt or scrapbook without the worry of your kids!

And, as it has been mentioned before, Dad needs to do his duty. Set up specific times for yourself when Dad can watch the kids. (even if that means sewing at someone else's house). Having a specific time really will help you to plan what you want to do (and sometimes that may mean watching a favorite movie with no interuption or taking a nap!) I might add that it is just as important to have "couple" time without the kids. You just have no idea how busy you are raising kids right now. You will reflect on it when they are grown and wonder how in the world you did it all.

Let us know how everything is going. We really care and want to see you in the mood to sew! :lol:

sabrinaquilts

Nope, My DH doesn't have a problem with me going out if I really want to. I have to keep in mind that the same problems I am having with my kids my husband does too. I would say more because the kids look at my husband as a big live toy. My 3 year old which he is 4 now wants only daddy when my DH is home. When there is a quilt class or club I really like he has no problem with me going. The problem lately has been that there is no classes or clubs that are doing patterns that interests me and my husband's traveling for his work has increased not to mention the boys' sports schedules. There isn't much time left for some me time for either of us. I understand what Judie is saying and I don't think she is saying to forget myself and just take care of the kids first. It is a balancing act. With the onslaught of the boys' sports I try to not plan too much further than when the season ends. After that the other side will look better.

sabrinaquilts

I just wanted to add an update. I am doing much better now. I took the advice and got a pack of 5 and half inches square fabrics to sew together to make a charity quilt. I am doing this until it gets to the time of my class for my new sewing machine. That really helps because it sure is keeping me in the quilting mind set which is what I wanted. Many of you have reminded me to do and think about things that I have forgotten that puts a smile on my face. My cleaning lady reminded me that I only have a little over a year left before my youngest will be in kindergarten. When that happens I will have more time to devote to organizing and cleaning my house as well as living the life of a quilter. I was shocked to realized it was that short of a time. I think I just needed to update my timeline. Once again thank you everyone for caring enough to post your two cents worth. :thumbup:

wraez

LOL, I read a book. Sometimes a book on quilting sometimes a novel.

gloryj8

I just walk away from it for a while, the mood comes back sometimes after a little longer break than I would like. But its always come back.

garysgal

Here is something I have done in the past. It may seem stupid, but it works. I imagine in my mind that I am quilting. I pick out a pattern, select fabrics, cut, sew, etc. in my mind, not in reality. Then I start to get excited about how it would look if I REALLY did start a new project. This has worked with quilting, crocheting, even house cleaning :0)