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Thread: what do you say when you give a gift, and reciepiant says

  1. #21
    Super Member GrannieAnnie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetana3 View Post
    A friend had a very elderly man give her bags of fabric from his deceased wife. She graciously accepted it and we tried to figure out if there was any way we could use it. It was just too dirty and we could not think of anything. However, we made an old man happy to think that her fabric went to a good cause.

    Sometimes it is just easier to accept the donation.

    We decided this year to start accepting donations for the guild's charm shop 24 months ahead of time. That way, when members are finished with projects or cleaning closets, they have somewhere to donate right away. We all know what happens when things are "lost" in the house or just too messy to get to when the charm shop starts asking for donations. Hopefully, this will gather even more donations and we can sort, measure, cut earlier and with less pressure.

    I've put many a pound of "dirty" fabric or smelly fabric in my washer-------------and had great clean fabric when I was done.
    Bad Spellers of the World
    U N T I E

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by sewingsuz View Post
    I hate when I send my quilt out to Grandaughter and never get a Thank You! Was it that bad????
    It is a sad commentary on the times. Parents don't teach their children manners anymore. I'm not that old (my 27 yr old daughter might think otherwise, lol), but I was taught to always send a thank you note. I taught my daughter to do the same. In my opinion, an email is not sufficient and a text is definitely not appropriate. I don't care how much technology advances, there is no excuse for thoughtless behavior.

  3. #23
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    I would just say "Thank You" to the "It looks professional" comment.

    As far as the fabric goes - that depends to a certain extent on the circumstances that come with it.

    I've learned that it's a good idea to take a look at it before accepting it (when possible).

    The "If I can't (won't) use it, is it okay if I pass it on?" comment could be very useful!

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by SonjaG View Post
    It is a sad commentary on the times. Parents don't teach their children manners anymore. I'm not that old (my 27 yr old daughter might think otherwise, lol), but I was taught to always send a thank you note. I taught my daughter to do the same. In my opinion, an email is not sufficient and a text is definitely not appropriate. I don't care how much technology advances, there is no excuse for thoughtless behavior.
    Hi Sonja,

    My comment below is not meant as a personal flame, but another opinion not often expressed here. I was also raised to write a thank you note, but communication options have changed.

    I was at a workshop a year ago on Working with First Nation Elders. It puts the idea of what is appropriate into a cultural context. In the Coast Salish community if something is important, the information must be passed orally face to face, second would be a phone call,the very last would be written information.

    Yet in a Eurocentric world we discredit a thank you, given orally, in person or by phone and feel that only a hand written note is acceptable.

    We have so many more ways to communicate that in my mind are as acceptable as a hand written note. We are not living 100 years ago when a written note was the only option, let alone the only acceptable option.

    On Christmas Day my kids send email thank yous with photos of them with their gifts to the overseas grandparents. I feel that is just as acceptable as sitting them down with a pen and paper to hand write a thank you note, then posting it to arrive a week or more after the holidays.
    Proud Parent of one Dwight Canada Student, my son graduated this year and is on his way to UVic.

    http://dwightcanada.org/

  5. #25
    Super Member Murphy1's Avatar
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    I am amazed at how many people never acknowledge gifts sent and when it is a quilt made especially for them, it is more than hurtful. My son and his wife are both part of that group. I even write long notes telling how I developed their special quilt, and nothing is acknowledged. I think good manners are slowly dying sadly.
    Quote Originally Posted by pattypurple View Post
    I think I would fall over if I got a thank you note from any of my nieces or their children. Guess that isn't considered important anymore. Don't take it as a critique of your work.
    Murphy1
    For our wonderful Golden Retriever adopted in March of 2010.

  6. #26
    Power Poster BellaBoo's Avatar
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    No Thank you, no gift again, no matter who you are in the family. It's the right thing to do no matter if it is something you want to do or not.
    Got fabric?

  7. #27
    Super Member willferg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetana3 View Post
    A friend had a very elderly man give her bags of fabric from his deceased wife. She graciously accepted it and we tried to figure out if there was any way we could use it. It was just too dirty and we could not think of anything. However, we made an old man happy to think that her fabric went to a good cause.

    Sometimes it is just easier to accept the donation.
    This is how I feel. Through Project Linus, I have received tons of donations of fabric, and most of it I pass on. Sometimes it goes to other charities to use, if it's not suitable for kids' quilts, and sometimes it goes to Goodwill or something similar. I once went to a yard sale where an older woman with Alzheimers had hand cut thousands of 5" squares...kept her hands busy. That's just one place some of that unsuitable fabric can end up and still do good.

    Plus, I know how hard it is to part with your stash, so I am always very grateful to the giver and then do with it what is best.

  8. #28
    Super Member DebraK's Avatar
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    great post!
    I have chosen to be happy because it is good for my health - Voltaire

  9. #29
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    I think that it would only be a problem if they were expecting to see a finished project made out of what they gave you. It can't always happen. Iv' received a couple of really nice things this way, so it isn't always a bad thing.

    I can relate to people asking if you want to do sewing or mending for them. I always turn this down even if they are offering to pay me and they usually aren't. To me quilting/sewing is a hobby that I do not want to turn into a job. If they don't want to do their own mending because they don't think it's fun, why do they think it would be fun for me?

  10. #30
    Super Member Greenheron's Avatar
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    Have a branch of in-laws who don't do "Thank you" and rarely feed-back. BUT they will do anything to help you out and their door is always open. It's cultural. I would like to know if the item is suitable/to their taste but I know it's not their 'thing.'

    Since I upcycle I am happy to take donations and have no problem sorting for use. I, too, thank the giver and assure them that what I cannot use will travel on to the next level, lol. Since I discovered how much fabric is eaten up crocheting rag rugs, including things that I would never consider putting in a quilt, the worn, the uglies and the polyester blends easily find a home. We have old-time rug weavers in the area who are glad of useable yardage, etc. I LIKE people who want to recycle.....even when I'm the sorting center....and I live in a big, ol' house with enough room.
    Last edited by Greenheron; 11-27-2012 at 11:21 AM.

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