snipforfun

Turn on some music then if she talks over it say you cant hear the music!

chamby

Wow, I agree with the others. Maybe she was just trying to fit in. Besides, our sewing group does not get together to be quiet. We are always talking to each other. If I wanted to just be in total quietness and sew I would stay home and sew alone. I imagine that in the past when ladies got together for quilting bees they did not sit and sew in silence. To me this is suppose to be a social time not quiet time. That is just me. Sounds like she needs and wants the friendship or she would not have come there in the first place. I suggest that you take the time to get to know her better.

Nammie to 7

It is difficult when one person monopolizes the conversation. We all have things to say and much to offer to any conversation. None of us likes to have a one sided conversation going on. I have a friend who does that - when she gets in a group all conversation is about her, what she has done, where she is going - every attempt to change the conversation to another topic so everyone can join in is quickly changed back to her favorite topic - herself. I rarely join any group when she is involved.

Peckish

I'm also wondering if it might get better if you give her a second chance. Maybe after she's attended a few meetings she'll understand the personality of the group better.

However, if that's not the case, moving the venue to a private home might be a good idea. My group rotates homes every month and it's always a potluck.

dc989

Thanks for encouragement and ideas. Nammie hit the problem head on. It is all about her so far. The group is not quiet. Actually we talk a lot about a lot of things, but it is usually lots of topics without a person monopolizing the time. We were not well acquainted before this group started and now we are close and enjoy each other without any pressure. All of us are long time quilters and tend to be loners, which is why the friendship in this group is surprising. We want to just come, visit, and work on our own projects, not be a support group. Right now she's feeling like a high maintenance and high drama person. I have no problem getting involved with people and reaching out, but this time I don't feel like this gal is supposed to be part of my bundle. And it's not because I'm being selfish.

BETTY62

Please give the lady another chance. I talk a lot more than I should when I am in a situation that makes me nervous. I know I'm doing it, I try so hard not to do it but for the life of me I just can't help myself.

DOTTYMO

Ladies she may be unaware she is talking too much. I was a member of a small quilt group we were all new. Some days after a welcome cup of coffee I would talk non stop. They all started joking with me. Problem was I drank decaf at home and my first drink at group was full strength. It was a caffeine boost. Also I live alone only talk to my dogs after a life time of teaching and talking non stop all day. The group just laugh now and the friend I sit next to would switch off until I asked her a question. Now adays I have a full coffee drink before I leave home or get to group.

The chatterer I get annoyed with is the one who plays different people in the group up against each other. We had one who would go around the group in a loud voice ask each the same question and then compare our replies and discuss them. We ended up with her sitting near to a lady who should have worn a hearing aid and never did. Periodically the deaf lady would 'grunt' and it satisfied the chatterbox.
Good luck in your problem solving . Why not suggest she reads this thread.

Knitette

I was astonished that you call this lady your 'friend'!

I'm fairly sure that most of my friends are happy to be in my company. I would be devastated if I thought they didn't join a group because of me.

In fact, I would be thoroughly questioning our 'friendship'.

Sandygirl

I moved to a new town over ten years ago. I am a talker but I found myself yakking more than normal to new groups out of nervousness. I had just gotten married (only time, midlife) and I was kind of freaking out inside trying to find my sea legs and adjust to my new life...HUGE move to a new location just a week after my wedding. From large metro area to the country life. My"identity" was in transition and being reinvented. I found it easier to adjust to being married but adjusting to the identity of living in the country and not knowing anyone...i yakked away. I am so much better now. I found my sea legs.

Give her a chance to settle in. The one -on -one lunch with her is a great idea. Perhaps other members will take your example to meet her for lunch or coffee, too, on their own. Easier to get acquainted with only two meeting vs. a group.

Btw, My God mother gave me a Chatty Cathy for my birthday, i wanted that doll so bad! I wish Mom had not gotten rid of it. She liked to pitch without asking. Woud have been fun to have kept the doll. Maybe I wore her out.....the doll..and my mom! LOL!

sandy

twinkie

Some people when new, feel the need for incessant talking. Others feel the need to sit quietly and say nothing. Perhaps things will be different for the second meeting. I say give her a second chance. Then take her to lunch and suggest she tone it down.