Acceptable or tacky?

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12-16-2011, 02:09 PM

#111

raynhamquilter

Senior Member

Join Date: Nov 2009

Location: MA

Posts: 650

I wouldn't let this bother me. Does she have monetary problems? I am a reading addict so any book I haven't read is a NEW book to me. If you don't read it you will have no gift--enjoy it and have the last laugh!

12-18-2011, 07:21 PM

#112

Ruby the Quilter

Super Member

Join Date: Dec 2010

Location: Far Far West Texas

Posts: 1,401

That is really interesting - did she think she was being helpful letting you know everyone read the book? People can really be strange.

01-11-2012, 04:56 AM

#113

onaemtnest

Super Member

Join Date: Jan 2011

Location: Rocky Mountains of Idaho

Posts: 1,454

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildyard

I guess I have a very different attitude about gifts than most people out there. I believe it's the thought that counts. If I see a book or item in a thrift store that seems perfect for one of my friends, then I will get it and gift it to them if it's in good shape. The book is not diminished by having been read before; the item not tarnished by being held in other hands. Would I open a new DVD or CD to view before gifting it, no, I don't think so. But I might add a note saying the gift includes time together to watch the movie and I'll bring the popcorn. LOL.
If someone gifted me something tacky, I would not insult them about it. Harsh words can never be taken back once spoken. My choice when participating in gift exchanges is that if I can't afford to meet the standard set, I opt out. It is frustrating when you participate and get something that does not meet the standard set, however, such is the nature of gift exchanges. It is always a chance you take. Meanness of spirit will not correct the imbalance nor make you feel better about receiving a tacky gift. But thinking about it sometimes makes you feel better, lol. Hugssssss and smilesssss

Having read through this entire thread I am so touched by the kindness of this reply by Linda Wedge White! "Harsh words can never be taken back once spoken" Oh My Goodness... a lesson that our society as a whole, including me at times in my life should practice.

My personal conclusion after many years of having bruised feelings from time-to-time, is that I need to forgive, forget (as best I can) and move on. "Sniping back" may feel good at the moment but doesn't that bring me into the same arena I'm condemning?

01-12-2012, 04:49 AM

#114

Sandygirl

Super Member

Join Date: Apr 2011

Location: Midwest

Posts: 5,051

A gift of a well loved book. Make this a positive. Money is tight. Secret Santa s supposed to be fun. My SS l gave me a bunch of her scraps. Not my colors and I certainly did not need additional scraps but hey, it was a Quilting SS so it made sense. I love books..... Used or new. Sounds like this one was "gently" used. Did the SS gifts have to be pristinely " new"??

Sandy

01-12-2012, 04:58 AM

#115

abdconsultant

Super Member

Join Date: Oct 2010

Location: Western North Carolina

Posts: 2,916

Acceptable & tacky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

01-12-2012, 07:48 AM

#116

aliaslaceygreen

Senior Member

Join Date: Dec 2009

Location: South Chesterfield, Virginia

Posts: 725

Quote:

Originally Posted by MaryMo

I would feel honored if one of my relatives gave me an object out of love - valuable or not. I would also cherish any story that went with the object. My aunt gave me a cake plate that she used to serve her fabulous pineapple coconut cake. Everytime I look at or use that plate I have fond memories of her - she lives on in my heart. I hope your relatives will feel the same when you share your valued mementos.

This. Last year during the holiday season, I had written a blog about the idea of receiving treasured items from family.
This woman however, missed the point. She shouldn't have bragged on about how many others read the book AFTER she bought it for you... and while that is tacky, the far 'worse' part is the idea that her son opens DVD's before giving... you can't return an open DVD! What if the recipient didn't like/ already had those movies?

I love giving gifts that have thought to them; if she thought this book was worthwhile to you, accept it with good grace, BUT--- don't over think giving her gifts in the future!

01-12-2012, 08:17 AM

#117

SuzanneG

Banned

Join Date: Jan 2011

Posts: 525

Okay, some of you completely missed the point of the OP's thread. This wasn't a second hand book (originally). It was a brand new book the woman bought, but allowed her whole family to read before giving the gift to the OP. So it had nothing to do with what this woman could afford, it was about the tackiness of allowing others to use a gift before giving it to the person for whom it was bought.

I have been given a used book as a gift before when it was difficult or impossible to find brand new. Doesn't bother me a bit. Even if it was a book that was easy to find, but the giver could only afford used - again, I would accept that gift with happiness and gratitude. BUT . . . that's NOT what happened in this instance.

So my vote goes to completely and utterly tacky to allow others to use a gift (regardless of what it is) before giving it to the person it was intended for. And this woman gets bonus tacky points for telling the receiver that she did this. Oh yes, this woman gets the Super Tacky Award for sure!!

Last edited by SuzanneG; 01-12-2012 at 08:19 AM.

01-12-2012, 06:43 PM

#118

luce321

Super Member

Join Date: Mar 2011

Location: Louisiana

Posts: 2,440

I mentioned this once before, but I will again as I thought it was such a terrible thing to do. Years ago my friend and I went to a Mother's Club Christmas party and we had to bring an exchange gift. When my friend opened her gift, it was a tube of toothpaste. Needless to say, we were so shocked. I felt so bad for her.