pinecone

That would be a good place to start. DMIL lived with us for 7 years, having what was called Lewie Bodys dementia with Parkinsons symptoms, just a for under the umbrella of dementia. I read the book "The 36 hour Day" about care giving. Find a support group, they will all share experiences and be able to tell you about resources. In my state there was grant monies for respite care, a Godsend. DH and I took off for a few days a few times and also used it when DD graduated from college.
When she would say "my slippers are in room 3" I knew she was back in the country hotel where she grew up. Alz. is an acceptance disease, some people try to correct but that is futile. There were days she would say she was kidnapped, she was perfectly fine and just take her home.
At times she was lucid and would say to me "I'm sorry to put you through all this" and I would just reply, "we all need help now and then" she didn't need to know it was 24/7.
Along with the locks suggested, we put a high latch on the cellar doorway so she wouldn't fall down the stairs, we also turned off the circuitbreaker to the stove at night. It got so we had to put a child lock on the 'fridge as she would forget to close the door.
Hugs, deep breath, and lots of patience. It looks like many are here to help.

piney

plainpat

This is such a heartbreaking & uplifting thread.Bless all the care givers going thru this.My Mom was in a nursing home due to a fall & was ok until a few wks before she died.She became more quiet & seldom talked,wasn't hungry.Dr said it was just a closing down,due to age.

She would always smile at me & DH,so the last 2 wks,we stayed with her all the time,one of us going home for shower & sleep, then back to relieve the other.We talked to her as we'd always done & she'd smile,then fall asleep.Mom just slept away & didn't take another breath.
It's been 2 yrs & we miss her,but at 90....life wasn't going to get better & I can't wish her back.

Toto's Mom

I took care of my Mom for the last several years of her life, until she got so I simply couldn't manage it alone any more, and had to put her in an Alzheimer's unit for the last 2 years.

Some of the behavior ( threatening, hoarding) was the same with Mom. She would threaten Dad, and we noticed all of the kitchen knives were disappearing. After she went in the nursing home, I found 14 of them, wrapped in a dish towel, and stashed in her room.
She had a thing about hoarding used paper towels, and she would press the wrinkles out by hand, and carefully stash them in Zip lock baggies. Everywhere.
Since she, too, would grieve if she knew there was a death, but didn't understand who, I opted not to tell her when her sister died, as Mom did not make the connection by then. It is SO hard to know if what you are doing is right or not, but I simply wanted to save her heartache, when she didn't know who her sister was any more.

Many hospitals have caregivers group meetings, and daycare for the patient, too. I found the support group and the trained nurse that conducted the meetings to be a Godsend for me, and for Mom, too. She enjoyed the outing, and I could actually take her with me and know that she was okay, if I had to use the rest-room.

Alzheimer's takes a worse toll on the family than it does on the patient, as they really don't know what is happening.
At the time, I was trying to raise my last errant teenager alone, and did part time duty with another lady with Alzheimer's to be able to do what I needed to for Mom.

She has been gone for 13 years, now, and I just have Dad to care for. He is 94, and although he had a stroke 10 years ago, is still living on his own, with my help. He, on the other hand, has a memory like a steel trap, and can tell what happened in 1920, as a 3 yr. old.
I had a sister, but her sole concern has always been money and a phone call or card from her once a year was always her best effort for our parents. She only shows up when someone dies, to see what she can get.
It becomes especially hard when the sole responsibility falls on one person.
I am especially blessed, as my formerly delinquent daughter grew up, settled down, and she helps me see to Dad's needs when I call.
Prayer is also the best nerve medication available. God listens when you need to scream and cry.
It is a hard road and God bless you for caring like you do.
If there is any time I can help you, please PM me. If it will help any I will even give you my email addy and my phone number.
[[[[HUGS]]]]
Nancy

plainpat

A woman I knew told me her Mom had alzheimers so bad,she spent 13 yrs in a home,knowing no one.The daughter got it too & was gone in just over 1 yr.Don't feel bad if she neds more care than you can provide.We can all just do the best we can.