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Thread: Body Language

  1. #1
    Super Member Lneal's Avatar
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    Averting the Eyes and a forced smile. That's what I got in return when I gave a genuine smile to someone I was passing.

    I am not being thin skinned or over reacting but I know it meant something and I can't quite figure it out .

  2. #2
    Super Member cherrio's Avatar
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    maybe he/she was just having a bad day. we have no way of knowing what someone else is dealing with in their life on a daily basis. so , don't take it personal-move on and just hope that the smile you put out there will be a positive influence on the rest of his/her day!

  3. #3
    Super Member luckylindy333's Avatar
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    The only way you are ever going to find out is to ask in a nice way... otherwise you are just going to wonder and guess forever.

  4. #4
    Super Member Lisanne's Avatar
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    Not everyone is used to having strangers smile at them, and they may not quite know what to do. The averted eyes are probably just that the person wasn't up for social interaction, not that they were snubbing you. They are polite enough to smile back, so accept that.

    I speak from experience - in fact, this happened to me today. I happened to idly glance at someone who was NOT facing me, and she turned at that very moment, caught my eye and gave me a big smile. I was exhausted and hot and sticky and wanting a shower, a meal and a lot of sleep, and I did exactly what you described: I smiled back, but I looked away.

  5. #5
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    I take it you didn't know this person. It could be habit or they're shy or both. I don't like people to think I'm staring at them and tend to do this and I usually tend to be very shy around people I don't know. I don't mean anything insulting by doing that. Now if someone flips "the bird" or gives you a sour looking face then I might be a little concerned if I was you. As it is accept the smile:)

  6. #6
    Power Poster Sadiemae's Avatar
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    Sometimes I think it is a sign of our times and how our society has changed over the years. 10 or even 15 years ago everyone smiled at everyone. Many still do, but lots of people wonder what you are up to if you smile at them.

    In the same mammer I try to return phone calls, letters, Thank you's, and PM's as soon as possible. Not everyone does...and it makes you feel kind of unimportant.

    I like to hold the door for people when given the opportunity. People are often very surprised when I do this. It used to be routine for people to hold the door for others.

  7. #7
    Super Member Annaquilts's Avatar
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    Shy. I can be that way. I can also be overly friendly, scaring people. LOL Also after my mother passed away I had a hard time comunicating and did not want people to see my pain. Unless the person was directly rude I would just ignore it.

  8. #8
    Super Member Lneal's Avatar
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    Actually it was someone I have known for a long time. Maybe all of you are right and I shouldn't worry about it anymore. Thanks for your thoughts about this.

  9. #9
    Moderator QuiltnNan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cherrio
    maybe he/she was just having a bad day. we have no way of knowing what someone else is dealing with in their life on a daily basis. so , don't take it personal-move on and just hope that the smile you put out there will be a positive influence on the rest of his/her day!
    ditto

  10. #10
    Super Member BKrenning's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lisanne
    Not everyone is used to having strangers smile at them, and they may not quite know what to do. The averted eyes are probably just that the person wasn't up for social interaction, not that they were snubbing you. They are polite enough to smile back, so accept that.

    I speak from experience - in fact, this happened to me today. I happened to idly glance at someone who was NOT facing me, and she turned at that very moment, caught my eye and gave me a big smile. I was exhausted and hot and sticky and wanting a shower, a meal and a lot of sleep, and I did exactly what you described: I smiled back, but I looked away.
    I think this is what happened also. Many, many people would do this if a stranger smiled at them.

  11. #11
    Super Member Glassquilt's Avatar
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    I've found that if I'm smiling all the time it doesn't seem to bother others. But if I change from not-smiling to a happy smiling face that change is bothersome. They must take it personally - who knows.

  12. #12
    Super Member Mad Mimm's Avatar
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    It was someone you know, so that takes the stranger anxiety/shyness thing out of the equation. Since you know this person, I would interact a few more times and gauge the response. If it is still aversive, and that is different from past behavior, then I would start to wonder. If it is a one-time thing, it could be something as simple as that person just not having a good day and not wanting to encourage interaction by shooting you a smile back. I would say don't let it bother you, but if you posted a thread on the topic, I'd say it IS bothering you. Good luck on figuring out what that is about.

  13. #13
    Super Member SuzyQ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lneal
    Actually it was someone I have known for a long time. Maybe all of you are right and I shouldn't worry about it anymore. Thanks for your thoughts about this.
    Maybe she didn't realize it was you or maybe she was deep in thought. When I pass a stranger on the street I do the smile, quick eye contact, say hello and look away thing you described. For one, I am shy and I guess from living in a big city for several years, sometimes too much eye contact is not a good thing. Even in a small town we have our panhandlers and all you have to do is make eye contact and they will stop you asking for money. I hate turning them down because what if their story is true???? I know, most times it isn't but if it were I'd be glad to help. I also have a bad habit of being in deep thought while walking around the office and not paying the least bit attention to whoever is around me.

    Hope you have a better day :)

  14. #14
    Super Member Murphy's Avatar
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    Shyness?

  15. #15
    Super Member Lneal's Avatar
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    I must admit this person has not been overly friendly as of late and it is because of circumstances that are out of my control. However, I have went out of my way to make her speak to me when she avoided me. It is not a circumstance that I can fix because nothing was my fault and nothing is her fault. But it did involve our adult children. Actually my child got the bad end of the deal and since then things have worked out immensely or I should say has turned around for mine. As I passed her there was no one else around and I directly looked at her with a smile to be friendly. That is when I got a half smile and eyes that closed at me.

    I don't let things like this interfere with how I treat other people and I go out of my way to make sure they know I am not holding ill feelings. I don't know but maybe some people cant accept that.

  16. #16
    Power Poster Sadiemae's Avatar
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    I agree, just smile and not worry about it.

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