Stitchnripper

You may want to practice with someone to have some thoughts ready in your mind. I agree that No is a complete sentence. I wouldn't say I'm sorry, because that sounds like an apology.
"No, I can't do it anymore"
But you always have
I can't do it anymore
Why?
My schedule and finances don't permit.
But I can't afford anyone else
That is too bad and I can't do it anymore.

Or whatever words you think will roll off your tongue!

Onebyone

I have learned not to do favors for those that ask or expect one. The one that don't ask I know when they need a favor.

ptquilts

"I did that first one as a favor to you, but I can't keep quilting all your quilts for free. Do you understand?"

You have to choose between you being uncomfortable working for free, or making her uncomfortable by saying no.

aashley333

Furthermore, I was taught to never ask for something, but wait until it is offered!

Onebyone

Furthermore, I was taught to never ask for something, but wait until it is offered!

Me too! We were taught to not ask to borrow either. When someone asks me to borrow something (not the little stuff to use for a few minutes) I immediately get a red flag about them. We once had one neighbor ask to borrow a tv for their kids to watch in their room. I said it would mess up my room decor to remove a tv so I can't do that. I thought I'd give an answer as low down as their question.

JanieW

You have been given a ton of great advice. No is a complete sentence. For me that was difficult when I first started trying to use it to assert myself when I needed to stop being taken advantage of.

i added "that's not going to work for me. " Don't give a reason because the manipulator/user/ control freak will fix your reason. It's difficult , especially if you're a people pleaser and don't like confrontation. The more you say it , the easier it gets.

That's not going to work for me.
why not?
it's not going to work for me. Over and over till they give up.

cashs_mom

Oh, me, too! I still don't like it when people ask me to make something for them. If I want to make you something, I will without your asking. If you ask, you probably won't get it. I consider it rude to expect someone to use their time (a lot of it) to make something for you. If you want it, learn to make it yourself!

I'm also annoyed with "You're so lucky you can sew and quilt". Um, no, luck had nothing to do with it. Years of practicing and learning did!

rjwilder

Tell her ASAP you will no longer be quilting her quilts. Do not wait until she brings you another one. Tell her you are only quilting for income at this time. Simply tell her no if she insists you quilt for her. Then give her a price way above what you normally charge to discourage her from ever thinking about hiring you. Your group may also want to talk about rotating houses, that is what my group does and it works out great.

bearisgray

Nothing to do with the quilting -

But if you meet every week, if you figure out a way to skip providing refreshments, it will make all of your lives easier. Have each person bring her own beverage and a personal snack if they need one for whatever reason.

Onebyone

When I hear people say they can't sew, cook, etc. All I hear I don't want learn how. I immediately don't care.