Instructions....In Honor of Stupid People....funny
09-11-2010, 08:22 AM
#53
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Gladstone, Oregon by way of Washington(the state)
Posts: 1,018
Originally Posted by Ditter43
In Honor of Stupid People . . . .
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner!
No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of
Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners --
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn'tn't this save me time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid --
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights --
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor --
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts."
(Say what?)
On a child's Superman costume--
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw --
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner!
No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of
Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners --
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn'tn't this save me time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid --
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights --
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor --
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions:
Open packet, eat nuts."
(Say what?)
On a child's Superman costume--
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw --
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
It looks like you have recovered from the 5 year old GD's visit. Hope you are well rested..
:lol:
09-11-2010, 08:27 AM
#54
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Where the sun sets.
Posts: 403
What were you supposed to do after you got what you needed, pass them along to someone else to get what they needed?
Originally Posted by ptquilts
I came across one on a package of frozen blueberries --
"use only as much as you need." Well it was a 3 pound bag, so I guess some people go overboard.
"use only as much as you need." Well it was a 3 pound bag, so I guess some people go overboard.
09-11-2010, 12:03 PM
#57
Super Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Piedmont Virginia in the Foothills of the Blue Ridge Mtns.
Posts: 8,562
Originally Posted by Ramona Byrd
On a child's Superman costume-- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
-----------------------------------------
This actually does happen. Once my youngest as a child pinned a towel around her neck, climbed onto the table and yelled that she was Superman (didn't have such a good grasp of DNA at that age) and leaped from the table to the floor. The flight was successful, but the landing left a lot to be desired, since she hit the chair on the way down, and had a black eye by the time we got to ER. I almost got pulled in by CPS, but she was always talkative and was thoroughly ticked off because she couldn't fly like Superman on TV and told the ER doctor in great detail about it. ALL about it, over and over, she was really mad at Superman and not her own stupidity. (Now she's a 50 year old school teacher and highly intelligent!!!)
I had gone to answer the phone and thought she was busy trying to pin the towel around the dog's neck for a bandanna.
And then there was the time other daughter put a bean in her ear....well, perhaps some of these labels ARE really necessary!!!!
-----------------------------------------
This actually does happen. Once my youngest as a child pinned a towel around her neck, climbed onto the table and yelled that she was Superman (didn't have such a good grasp of DNA at that age) and leaped from the table to the floor. The flight was successful, but the landing left a lot to be desired, since she hit the chair on the way down, and had a black eye by the time we got to ER. I almost got pulled in by CPS, but she was always talkative and was thoroughly ticked off because she couldn't fly like Superman on TV and told the ER doctor in great detail about it. ALL about it, over and over, she was really mad at Superman and not her own stupidity. (Now she's a 50 year old school teacher and highly intelligent!!!)
I had gone to answer the phone and thought she was busy trying to pin the towel around the dog's neck for a bandanna.
And then there was the time other daughter put a bean in her ear....well, perhaps some of these labels ARE really necessary!!!!
Of course, I do remember reading somewhere that having children was like trying to nail jello to a tree.
Jan in VA
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