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Thread: Instructions....In Honor of Stupid People....funny

  1. #1
    Super Member Ditter43's Avatar
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    In Honor of Stupid People . . . .

    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.



    On a Sears hairdryer --

    Do not use while sleeping.

    (That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)



    On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner!

    No purchase necessary. Details inside.

    (the shoplifter special?)


    On a bar of

    Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."

    (and that would be???....)



    On some Swanson frozen dinners --

    "Serving suggestion: Defrost."

    (but, it's just a suggestion.)



    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --

    "Do not turn upside down."

    (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)




    On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."

    (...and you thought????...)




    On packaging for a Rowenta iron --

    "Do not iron clothes on body."

    (but wouldn'tn't this save me time?)



    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --

    "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

    (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)



    On Nytol Sleep Aid --

    "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

    (..I'm taking this because???....)



    On most brands of Christmas lights --

    "For indoor or outdoor use only."

    (as opposed to what?)




    On a Japanese food processor --

    "Not to be used for the other use."

    (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)



    On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."

    (talk about a news flash)




    On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions:

    Open packet, eat nuts."

    (Say what?)




    On a child's Superman costume--

    "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

    (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)



    On a Swedish chainsaw --

    "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

    (Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

  2. #2
    Super Member
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    All I can say is "OH MY!"

  3. #3
    Super Member grammyp's Avatar
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    Oh my gosh. Where do you find all these things?

  4. #4
    Super Member mrspete's Avatar
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    hahahahahaha, and they say there ain't no cure for it!

  5. #5
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    ROFL This is good. Thank you DItter. I look forward to your posts

  6. #6
    Senior Member stitchingmemories's Avatar
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    Oh my! I can't stop laughing!! Thank you so much, I needed that.

  7. #7
    Power Poster cutebuns's Avatar
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    That is funny, I have read a few doozies myself while I was working retail, but they usually put the warnings like that on when someone has already did what they are warning against, hense the warning,


    Remove plastic before opperating,

    like having to label the coffee hot when you buy take out.

  8. #8
    Super Member grammiepamie's Avatar
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    Yea Ditter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. #9
    Super Member Gramof6's Avatar
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    :D And to think there are people that actually need these warnings. :D And they repoduce!!! :roll:

  10. #10
    Super Member deltadawn's Avatar
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    Thank you for giving me a good giggle ..........That sure has brightened my day .

  11. #11
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    The 'hot' warning on coffee was because Selma somebody put the hot coffee between her legs, at the drive thru. The obvious happened, she sued, and 12 people and judge, actually bought the BS rather than throwing the case out for stupidity. Now there are Selma Awards, to highlight more ridiculousness that goes on in our 'I'm not responsible for me' society. Okay, I'll get off the box now. Thanks for listening.

  12. #12
    Super Member Jan in VA's Avatar
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    Hysterical! I needed that laugh tonight, LOL! :lol:
    Jan in VA

  13. #13
    Senior Member sew_southern's Avatar
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    Lol, like the others said about the coffee being HOT! Yeah, there really are some so called "stupid" people, just waiting to slap a big lawsuit on a company. They don't care what they're called as long as they get some big bucks out of it! :)

  14. #14
    Super Member quiltmaker's Avatar
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    Talk about dumbing down society.......

    Ditter, you are priceless with your funnies!

  15. #15
    Power Poster lynnie's Avatar
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    i love your posts ditter. lmaorof

  16. #16
    Power Poster lynnie's Avatar
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    i love your posts ditter. lmaorof

  17. #17
    Super Member dakotamaid's Avatar
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    Oh my, I had my laugh for today, so did hubby!

    However, It is the stupid lawyers in this country that have made some of those stupid instructions necessary!

  18. #18
    Super Member raptureready's Avatar
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    I went to college with a girl that had very thick, curly, thigh length hair. She would wash it, then section it off and wrap it around her head and pin it in an effort to straighten it. She then would put her hair dryer (the kind with the big plastic bubble looking thing that fit over your head) on and sleep with it running all night. The hose was secured with duct tape to make sure it didn't pull out. Maybe the hairdryer one was for her. LOL

  19. #19
    Power Poster oksewglad's Avatar
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    Another good laugh, thanks

  20. #20
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    On a child's Superman costume-- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
    -----------------------------------------
    This actually does happen. Once my youngest as a child pinned a towel around her neck, climbed onto the table and yelled that she was Superman (didn't have such a good grasp of DNA at that age) and leaped from the table to the floor. The flight was successful, but the landing left a lot to be desired, since she hit the chair on the way down, and had a black eye by the time we got to ER. I almost got pulled in by CPS, but she was always talkative and was thoroughly ticked off because she couldn't fly like Superman on TV and told the ER doctor in great detail about it. ALL about it, over and over, she was really mad at Superman and not her own stupidity. (Now she's a 50 year old school teacher and highly intelligent!!!)
    I had gone to answer the phone and thought she was busy trying to pin the towel around the dog's neck for a bandanna.
    And then there was the time other daughter put a bean in her ear....well, perhaps some of these labels ARE really necessary!!!!

  21. #21
    Super Member sewmuchmore's Avatar
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    :lol: :lol: what will they think up next.

  22. #22
    Junior Member pamdux's Avatar
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    Thank you so much for the good laugh, I really enjoyed this today.

  23. #23
    Power Poster MadQuilter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ditter43
    On most brands of Christmas lights --

    "For indoor or outdoor use only."

    (as opposed to what?)
    This one I actually agree with. It would really disappointing if you spent the money to hang the decorations OUTSIDE and they all blew up during the first rainstorm because they were not rated for outdoor use.

    The others are FUNN-NY!

  24. #24
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    I really saw this one on a baby's folding stroller once. It was a well attached tag that said (I Swear) remove child from stroller before attempting to fold up! What kind of parent couldn't figure that out?

  25. #25
    Super Member almostfree's Avatar
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    Too funny....I needed a laugh today!

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